


Diamond Sky

by HeartSabers



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aladdin (1992) References, All the tension basically, Alternate Universe - Aladdin (1992) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ballroom Dancing, Disney References, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Friends to Lovers, Inspired by Aladdin (1992), Loss of Virginity, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Prince Ben Solo, Scavenger Rey (Star Wars), Slow Burn, Soulmates, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartSabers/pseuds/HeartSabers
Summary: The prophecy had been passed down from generation to generation in those lands for so long its origins had long since faded from people's memories. As is usually the case with prophecies, however, it hardly mattered. They still came as naturally to people's lips as a wise old saying or a nursery rhyme - the verses that spoke of hope, of twin suns rising in the horizon, and of the peace and balance they’d bring to the kingdom of Naboo when they finally aligned. For centuries, maybe for millenia, people turned their eyes towards the sky, waiting for the arrival of the prophesized stars.They never came.As the years went by, prophecy became fable, fable became fiction and fiction fell into oblivion, so much so that people stopped staring at the sky altogether.Maybe their eyes should have been turned towards the ground, where the wheels of fate seemed determined to tangle the lives of a lonely scavenger and a lonely prince.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 379
Kudos: 508





	1. As above, so below

_***_

_When the twin stars arise_

_Neither darkness nor light_

_Shall henceforth know divide_

_Like the one they’ve long known_

_When the twin stars align_

_Inextricably twined_

_Only then, by design_

_Will there be a new throne_

_***_

Around Rey’s feet, blades of grass swayed with the breeze, tinged blue by the night that deepened around her. As they moved, the first dew drops that lay on the grass caught the moonlight, glistening like tiny shards of diamond the sky had sprinkled across the ground. She watched them gleam as she breathed heavily, wiping beads of sweat off her forehead. Unbeknownst to her, the night made her skin glisten, too.

Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes for a second, letting the cold breeze soothe her flushed skin. As her chest heaved, her hands came to rest around her waist, as if trying to hold her body together for just a minute longer. _Just a minute_ , she told herself. _Just this last one_. She was almost done.

Opening her eyes, she turned her attention back to the wagon wheel on the ground. It stared back at her defiantly, the wood portion half detached from the iron rim around it; half still very much holding onto it for dear life. The little girl pursed her lips in determination and leaned down once more, the exhaustion of a day’s work weighing on her every muscle like a heavy iron shackle. She raised her foot wearily but determinately, stepping on the wooden portion of the wheel as her small hands grasped the rusting metal firmly. Using her small foot for leverage, she tugged and grunted, causing the tendrils of sweat-drenched hair that had already fallen from the three buns on her head to cling to her glistening skin.

When the metal finally came unstuck with a loud _crack,_ the sound resounded through the night around her, disrupting the velvety blue silence upon which both earth and sky seemed to have agreed. In the bliss of her small victory, it took her a second to acknowledge the sharp pain blooming across the palm of her hand, courtesy of the cold bite of stubborn iron.

“ _Ow._ ”

Rey let go of her loot, letting it fall to the ground with a dull thud as she turned her palm upwards and frowned down at it. Before her eyes, a rivulet of blood followed the course of the deep lines on her skin – the very same ones Maz had once told her could tell stories of someone’s fate.

It was a bloody fate she was staring at, she thought as crimson drops of blood slowly flowed through the riverbeds carved on her flesh and rained down towards the ground; shards of ruby rushing to join the glistening diamonds on the grass.

Still frowning, the scrawny child pressed the rough hem of her tunic to the injury, finally looking up at the night sky that had replaced Naboo’s colorful twilight while she worked. The blanket of stars seemed to stretch endlessly over the grassy fields that covered the backroads of the kingdom, and the twinkling lights would have immediately left her in awe in any ordinary night.

Rey would soon realize, however, that this was no ordinary night.

It truly wasn’t, because, inlaid into the horizon, the full moon that looked down at her, bathing the field in its faint gleam, looked bright red.

Rey’s eyes reflected the stars as they widened in surprise, and she took a step forward. As she moved, her ankle brushed against the burlap sack she’d filled with metal junk throughout the day, making it rattle.

It was the first time she ever saw a Blood Moon.

It was also the first time she ever saw him.

At first, his silhouette looked like a big stone laid at the feet of the majestic oak tree that sat on the highest point of the valley. Rey, however, even through the hazy veil of her awe and the throbbing pain on her hand, remembered that, in her many years walking these lands, she’d never seen this rock.

Still pressing down on her wound, she took a few hesitant steps towards the tree, her head slightly cocked in confusion. As the breeze around her picked up speed, the silhouette’s clothes flowed at its whim, telling her that it was indeed no stone.

“Excuse me?”

Her voice came out thin and feeble, diluted by the space between them, so she took a few more steps towards the figure, hesitantly making her way uphill. As she closed the distance between them, her eyes darted up to the red moon for a split second, only to bounce back down almost immediately, as if the moon itself had told her it was important that they did.

“Excuse me?” she repeated, only a few feet away from the silhouette of the oak tree. It stood tall in the calm darkness, the shape of its thick branches and lush leaves an inky black cutout of the star-studded sky.

This time around, the figure heard her.

The boy sprang to his feet, taking two steps back as he turned around towards the sound of her voice. A furrow formed between Rey’s eyebrows as her eyes roamed up and down, assessing his appearance. He must have been around her age – even though his frame was considerably taller than hers and his limbs considerably longer, something in his distinctive features told her he couldn’t be over twelve. His dark eyes widened as he looked at her, and for a long moment there was no sound to be heard but that of the breeze rustling the canopy of leaves above their heads.

In the brief moment of silence, Rey found herself distracted by his clothes, silently coming to the conclusion that their age must have been the only thing they had in common. His thin, lanky limbs were clad in lush blue velvet that looked almost black under the moonlight. All throughout the thick, expensive looking fabric – across the hem, around the high collar, zigzagging between the golden buttons – thick golden threads drew complex patterns, dancing and swirling in the most complex filigree Rey had ever seen. In awe, she wondered idly if anyone would _actually_ sew using real gold.

When she looked back at his face, he was staring at her own clothes. Despite herself, she felt heat rise to her cheeks, so she jerked her head as if trying to shake the blush away

“Are you lost?” she asked, her voice sounding firmer this time. “Do you need help?”

It took him another moment to answer, his eyes still glued to her threadbare beige tunic, travelling back and forth between her mud-stained pants and the worn out leather of the brown belt wrapped around her waist. When he finally looked at her face again, his expression was unreadable.

“What are you doing here?”

He spat the question, the tone of his voice demanding and sharp around the edges. It sounded like the voice of someone who was used to being obeyed – a tone Rey happened to be all too familiar with. Familiar enough, in fact, for her to know better than to give him the pleasure of her compliance.

“ _Excuse me_?” she said, knitting her brows together.

“What are you doing here?” he repeated, his shoulders slumping ever so slightly as his fists clenched by his sides. “How did you find this place? Did you follow me?” 

“What am…” she stuttered, shaking her head as if to shoo an impertinent fly. “What am I doing here? I’m _working,_ that’s what I’m doing! Did you think this was a _secret hideaway_ or something?”

By the look on the boy’s face, Rey’s words might as well have been a strong, defiant shove to his chest. His eyebrows drew closer together, carving a deep, confused rift on his forehead, and the arrogant line of his mouth slowly softened as his lips parted. No sound came out of them for a moment, and then he spoke again.

“What…” His voice sounded more vulnerable now, and he seemed to notice it, because he immediately straightened his spine and raised his chin, making their height difference evident again. He swallowed before he proceeded, his mouth once again pursed arrogantly around the corners.

“Working?” He sounded like he was testing the word, as if he’d never heard of such thing. “How old are you?”

The question she’d had to answer so many times made anger bloom in Rey’s chest, red and hot, and she straightened her spine too, raising her chin defiantly.

“Twelve.”

“You’re very small for twelve.”

He didn’t sound like he meant it as an offense – more like a statement of fact, if anything. It still stoked the rage growing inside her core, making it simmer and swirl. She opened her mouth to reply, but he spoke first.

“Do you mean your parents work here? Are they with the help?”

The question stung like alcohol on a fresh wound, but Rey didn’t let it show.

“The help?” she asked instead, and now she was the one who sounded like she’d never heard of the concept before. She cocked her head again, hands on her hips, forehead creased in her effort to make sense of the boy’s words. “I’m working. _Wor-king_ ,” she said slowly, for the first time wondering if he was even fluent in Basic to begin with. “I mean, I’d usually be home by know, but the day’s been kinda slow, so I thought I’d –”

“You’re hurt.” He said it bluntly, cutting her midsentence, apparently forgetting all about the foreign, exotic concept of _work_. Once again, the arrogance on his face dissolved as his eyes took in the blood on her clothes, his voice hanging on the brink of something that sounded a lot like concern. “You should see the doctor.”

Rey couldn’t help but snort at his words, turning her palm up to look at it. The blood had mostly dried by now, coating her skin in a familiar maroon crust.

“ _The doctor_? You mean the apothecary? _For this_?” When she looked up at him again, she was smiling, but it wasn't one of the sunny, happy smiles Maz seemed to like so much. “Do you know how much he’s charging for a tiny tin of yarrow balm? _Twenty credits_!”

She expected him to laugh, or at least acknowledge the absurdity of what she’d just told him, but he remained impassive, looking intently at her injured hand.

“Who _are_ you?” is what he finally asked when he raised his eyes to her face again.

Rey blinked a few times, letting her hand fall back to her side.

“You’re not from around here, are you? Traveler, I assume?” The boy just stared at her in response, but she didn’t wait for him to answer. It was the only logical explanation for his clothes, after all. “Listen, I’m calling it a day and heading back into town,” she explained, jerking her head towards the silhouette of the city behind her. When she looked over her shoulder, the flickering lights of the outskirts of Old Naboo greeted her like old friends. “You can come if you want to. If you need a place to spend the night, I’m sure Maz could –”

When Rey turned back around, she found nothing but the wind whispering on tall blades of grass and lush green fields bathed by the bleeding moon. With her lips slightly parted, she looked around her, buns bouncing on her head as she searched feverishly for any indication of where the boy might have gone.

“Hello?” she called into the night, but no one answered.

She turned around a few times, wondering if he’d hidden behind the tree, or maybe sprinted downhill so fast she’d completely missed it. Impossible, she decided. How could one hide in the open fields? Breathing heavily, she stopped turning and stared down at the roads that cut through the valley, snaking towards the neighboring kingdoms. She swallowed thickly, the wind tugging at her clothes and her hair, nibbling mercilessly at her bare arms.

It was the first time she ever saw him. It wouldn’t be the last.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! So, I know there are tons of great Aladdin AUs in our fandom, but I hope my little twists will be enough to make this one somewhat interesting! At the end of the day, I'm writing this as a way to heal from TRoS (my own version of a fix-it fic, if you will), and your support means the world to me. A good chunk of the story is already written, and I hope to have finished it by the time I post the next chapter, so you can expect weekly updates every Friday! This one was a short little prologue I was going to post with chapter 2, but I decided to post it today to celebrate Ben Solo's birthday. Next week's update will be longer, I promise! 
> 
> Happy birthday, Ben! You deserved better. 
> 
> I love you faces <3
> 
> PS.: Yes, I did take it upon myself to write the prophecy of the dyad, 'cause apparently TRoS couldn't be bothered. Le sigh.


	2. Ghosts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, a Friday update! Hope you enjoy <3

There was fear in Rey’s eyes when she looked over her shoulder, searching the narrow streets behind her for any signs of movement. The shops were already closed by now, and the wind whistled ominously as it swept through empty alleys, all life and all color shrouded by the night. Swallowing thickly, she adjusted the burlap sack that hung over her shoulder, turning her head forward again. The trembling of her hand was barely noticeable when she grasped the metal rim of the wagon wheel and made it roll forward, wobbling and rattling on the wet cobblestones.

She picked up her pace, her steps echoing off stone walls. Every once in a while, she’d hear sounds, usually music, chatter or indistinct screaming coming from behind closed windows. One after the other, they’d fade in the distance as she walked, making her way towards her destination as fast as her legs would take her.

When she finally reached Plutt’s shop, she propped the wheel against the wall, knocking three times on the door before she looked over her shoulder again. 

“Took you long enough.”

His gruff, morose voice made her snap her head back towards the door. The huge man stared down at her, arms crossed over his protuberant stomach.

“What’s wrong with you? You look like you saw a ghost.”

“N-nothing,” she stammered, wetting her lips. “Nothing, I… I didn’t find a lot at the bazaar today, so I went down to the road to try and find some extra.”

The man smacked his lips disapprovingly, offering her a vague grunt of acknowledgement as he reached out for her sack. Rey stood in silence as he rummaged through it, grumbling and huffing every now and then.

“What you brought me today’s worth…” he finally said, looking down at the wheel and throwing it inside his shop along with the burlap sack. “Five credits.”

“ _Five credits_?” Rey repeated indignantly, her eyebrows knitted together as she looked up at the man. “The wheel alone was worth three last week!”

“It was worth three when you had to find them at the marketplace,” Plutt explained as he picked something from his teeth. “If you’re old enough to scavenge the backroads now, they’ll be a dime a dozen.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he’d already turned to go back inside, kicking the sack further into his shop.

“Go home. Get some sleep. And do better tomorrow,” were the last words she heard him say before he closed the door behind him, blocking the light streaming out of the shop and leaving Rey in the dark again.

Pursing her lips, she looked down at the coins in her injured hand, shoving them inside the small purse that hung from her belt.

“Ugly jerk,” she muttered under her breath, kicking a pebble towards his door before she resumed her way down the street, towards the old marketplace.

As she walked, the streets grew even more silent than they’d been before. Chatter became sparse, laughter became inexistent, and soon enough Rey’s only companion was the deafening sound of her own boots stomping the cold cobblestones. This side of town was inhabited only by abandoned buildings and by the few families that had refused to leave after the fire that had ravaged the old bazaar all those years ago. Rey was comfortable with it, though. Fewer people meant fewer questions, fewer curious looks, fewer inquiries about home and parents.

Fewer people meant fewer problems, and empty buildings meant potential homes. At least that’s what she'd told herself over and over again, until she didn’t need to say it anymore. Until it became the truth.

But that was before she started seeing ghosts.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as thoughts of the boy barged into her memory again, and she did her best to shake them off, focusing on the sound of her boots stomping charred stone. “One, two, three,” she counted rhythmically under her breath. _One, two three, one, two, three_ , letting her thoughts linger on counting and counting alone. Soon, three became six, six became nine, nine became hundreds and she finally reached it – the familiar back alley where the nooks in the old stone walls formed a perfect ladder towards the rooftops.

With the agility of a cat, she found her footing as if she could actually see in the dark, expertly climbing the wall until she reached the windowsill of an abandoned house. From there, she hopped to another ledge, and then another, until she found the old ripped awning that marked the spot. Climbing on top of it, she hopped towards the rooftop, pulling her small body up with ease.

From here, a series of narrow stairways finally led her to a corridor, and then to the small flight of stairs stretching up towards a tattered piece of blue fabric that swayed lazily with the breeze. Climbing the steps two at a time, she pushed the makeshift curtain to the side and stepped inside.

It must have been a balcony once upon a time, back when these streets bustled with rich merchants, or maybe a living room of some kind. Rey wouldn’t have known.

It was now _hers_ – a small square room filled with nearly everything she held dear in the world. To her left, a ripped ottoman covered in old cushions and an old, lumpy mattress invited her over to sleep, but she refused to go just yet. To her right, in a corner, a small table held some of the knick-knacks she’d collected over the years: a chipped porcelain vase; a green bowl filled with water; a small ragdoll, a pretty jewelry box made of carved bone. Rey didn’t look at them, but instead walked straight ahead, towards the makeshift curtains on the other side of the room, and pushed them to the side to reveal three open arches that looked out onto the city. 

Moonlight streamed into the room as soon as she opened the curtains, and she sat down on a cushion that lay on the ground, letting her face rest against the stone pillar by her side. From up here, she could see everything: the new marketplace with its glossy rooftops; the open fields to the west, covered in a blanket of lush grass; the narrow streets lined with houses in which, at that very moment, families were making dinner and asking their children how their day had been.

But, above all, she could see the citadel of Theed.

It was further away in the horizon, a few miles out of this part of Naboo, but she could see it perfectly, and it was the sight she loved the most.

It was hard to tell at night, but the stone walls of the capital were not the same shade as those of the city. Slightly pinkish, they looked smooth and sleek under the sunlight, and Rey often found herself wondering what they’d feel like to touch. Theed was surrounded by tall, imposing walls within which a marketplace and a few dozen houses stood gracefully, mainly occupied by noble families.

Rey’s eyes flew straight by them, searching for the massive structure that towered over each aristocratic house, dwarfing them in its shadow.

The Royal Palace of Theed stared back at her, its magnificent lights winking and welcoming her home. Its rounded jade rooftops reflected the red moon above them, and Rey scooted closer to the cold stone, hugging her knees. Inside a small window inlaid into the west tower, a warm light went on, and she smiled despite herself, wondering who’d finally made it home.

As if on cue, the curtain by the entrance of her little nest rustled, and she snapped her head towards the sound fast enough to see a dark silhouette slide swiftly into the room.

“Rose!” Rey exhaled, her hand on her heaving chest. “I almost _died_!”

With a side smile and a cocked eyebrow, Rose grabbed a cushion from the old ottoman, throwing it next to Rey.

“What, did you think I was a _thief_?” she teased, plopping down on the pillow she’d just thrown. Wiggling her brows, she slid the worn out straps of her backpack down her arms and set it down between her crossed legs. 

“That’s not…” Rey answered, shaking her head. “Nevermind. It’s late, by the way.”

“Yeah, Mr. Watto got like _a thousand_ crates of apples in the afternoon, took me hours to unload them.”

“That guy sucks.”

“Plutt’s great, though.”

Rey laughed at the blatant sarcasm, reaching for a cushion to throw in Rose's direction. Her friend caught it with ease, laughing as she placed it between her head and the stone wall.

“Speaking of apples…” she said, opening the backpack on her lap and sticking her hand inside. She rummaged through its contents for a long moment before crying a triumphant, “Aha!”

From the depths of her purse, the girl produced two apples – not round, pretty, ruby red apples, but misshapen ones, slightly orange in color, dull and dry-looking under the light of the stars. When Rey saw them, the smile on her lips was big enough to dimple her cheeks.

“Did you steal them?”

Rose dismissed the question with a nonchalant shrug, handing Rey an apple.

“The ugly ones never get sold anyway. And that old man’s paying me five credits a day. Had it coming, if you ask me.”

“That’s what Plutt paid me today,” Rey said, biting into her apple. It filled her mouth with sweet juice, and she smiled again, reveling in the crunch of each bite.

“Ugly jerk,” Rose muttered under her breath as she bit into her own apple, and Rey laughed, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

They ate in silence for a long moment, the crunch of their bites loud in the quiet night, until Rose spoke again.

“Lots of lights on at the palace tonight.”

Rey hummed her agreement, swallowing a particularly large bite she’d been chewing on for a solid minute.

“Maybe they’re having a party.”

“With tons of food.”

“And music.”

“And dancing,” they said in unison, looking at each other with bright smiles on their faces. Rose looked away first, turning her eyes back to the palace.

“Or maybe the prince is throwing another tantrum and everyone’s up trying to get him to calm down.”

“Rose!” Rey said, not without a hint of laughter. “That’s mean.”

“People talk, you know?” her friend retorted, shrugging again. “At the market.”

“People talk about a lot of things they don’t know.”

“I guess,” Rose agreed through a mouthful, resting her head on the wall behind her.

Another long moment of silence followed, and Rey took it to admire the silhouette of the palace cutting its way through the starry sky. Her eyes slowly strayed upwards, higher and higher, until they finally found the red moon. It made her remember. 

“Rosie?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Ghosts?” Rose asked, sitting up with an amused smile on her lips. “Like, of dead people?”

Rey just shrugged in response, turning to meet her friend’s incredulous gaze.

“Why? Did you see one?” she whispered, leaning forward with a mischievous twinkle in her dark eyes.

“No!” Rey answered immediately, shaking her head. “No, no, I… I was just thinking about it today.”

“Hm,” Rose hummed, slumping back against the wall again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Maz always says there’s more to the world than what we see.”

“Oh my God, Maz!” Rose cried, stumbling to her feet. It caused Rey to swallow the last bite of her apple hurriedly, an alarmed look in her eyes.

“What?”

“I completely forgot!” Crouching down, Rose started to rummage through her purse again, producing a large paper bag. “She ordered flour. Like, hours ago.”

“I mean, it’s not that late,” Rey pondered, wiping her mouth. “Bet she’s still open.”

“Wanna come?” Rose asked, sticking the bag back into her backpack and slding the strap over her shoulder.

Rey offered her a wide smile in response, throwing one last glance at the bright lights of the palace.

“What do you think?”

***

“Maz?”

Rey walked through the door of the old cantina right behind Rose, just in time to hear her friend call again.

“Maz? You still open?”

“Oh, there you are! Took you long enough.”

The tiny woman emerged from behind the stone counter with a huge smile plastered across her face, drying her hands on the colorful apron tied around her waist.

“Sorry, I forgot,” Rose said sheepishly, arm buried in her backpack up to her elbow. “Here!”

Maz looked at the brown paper bag in the girl’s hand as if it were an exotic animal.

“What’s that?”

“Flour?”

The look of confusion remained on the woman’s face, so Rey stepped in, her head slightly cocked to the side.

“The flour you ordered from Mr. Watto?”

“Oh, yes,” Maz finally said, grabbing the bag and setting it down carelessly on a nearby table. “Yes, of course. Flour. Thank you. Now you two sit down, I’ll fix you something to eat.”

“You don’t have to,” Rey rushed to say, looking over at Rose for support. “We just ate.”

The tiny woman’s eyes narrowed behind her huge glasses, staring at the girls as if they could see right through them.

“Oh, yes? And what did you eat, if I may ask?”

“Apples,” Rose answered cheerfully, throwing Rey a side smile and a wink. “They were really good.”

“I don’t care how good they were, apples are no meal for a child,” Maz said, waving her hand impatiently and pointing to an empty table. “Sit down. That’s an order.”

Exchanging resigned looks and a shrug, the girls made their way towards the table, plopping down unceremoniously on the wobbly chairs. Within no time, the wooden surface before them was crammed with colorful plates, all containing their favorite things in the world: fresh bread, warm butter, olives and apricots, ham, cheese, figs and a small pitcher filled to the brim with thick, amber honey. 

“C’mon, tell me about your day,” Maz said as she set the table. Rose swallowed the big chunk of bread she was chewing on, deciding to go first.

“Not much to tell. Big apple shipment today. Mr. Watto said we’re getting fresh peaches and grapes next week. Fresh spices, too – cumin, oregano, paprika, that kind of stuff. Said you should let him know if you need anything.”

“Hm,” Maz hummed, sitting down next to them. “I will. Aren’t you a little too young to be carrying crates, though?”

“I’m not carrying crates,” Rose retorted, the tone of her voice suggesting the idea was absurd. “I put stuff in smaller baskets and _then_ carry them.”

That made Maz sigh heavily, massaging the bridge of her nose before she turned her eyes to Rey.

“Right. Sure. What about you?”

“Not much either,” she shrugged, licking honey off her thumb. “Slow day at the market, so I took the backroads to make some extra. Found a wagon wheel.”

The face of the phantom boy flashed in her mind, as vivid as the food before her eyes. She swallowed thickly, grabbing another fig.

“Those roads are no place for a child,” Maz murmured, clicking her tongue in disapproval. “Did Plutt tell you to go there?”

“No!” Rey shook her head vehemently, sprinkling some honey on the fig in her hands. “I wanted to go. And I’m not a child anymore. I’m twelve.”

She straightened her spine a little as she said that, which granted her a small chuckle from Maz.

“Oh, child. It’s bad enough that you won’t take my spare bedroom, but carrying crates and scavenging backroads…”

“Your spare bedrooms are for renting,” Rose said articulately, her jet black hair streaked amber under the gas lanterns that hung from the stone walls. “And we have our house. We found an ottoman and everything, we don’t even have to share the mattress anymore.”

Rey nodded enthusiastically, wiping the corner of her mouth with her thumb.

“And cushions. We have tons of them now.”

Maz’s expression hung somewhere between tired and amused when she sighed again, leaning back on her chair.

“If you say so.”

“Hey, Maz,” Rose said, as if suddenly remembering something important. “What’s up with the moon tonight?” 

“Oh,” the old woman answered, her eyes straying to the window although the sky wasn’t visible from where they were sitting. “You mean the Blood Moon?”

The girls nodded excitedly, and Maz smiled at them.

“It’s what happens when the moon, the sun and the Earth align. A natural occurrence. Nothing to be afraid of. Although some do say…”

The girls leaned forward instinctively, recognizing the change in tone that indicated the beginning of a story.

“… that the moon gets red like that when Fate’s working on aligning its threads. To make sure they’re all going in the right direction, you see?”

“Do you think it can attract ghosts?” Rey spurted out, her belly too full to allow her brain to filter her words.

“What is it with you and ghosts today?” Rose asked, laughing over the rim of her cup of milk.

“Nothing,” Rey said defensively, trying to sound casual. “I heard someone mention them at the market. Just curious.”

“Ghosts are… not real, Rey,” Maz said kindly, patting Rey’s knee under the table. “When we die, we just… become one with the universe again. Go right back to where we came from. We continue to exist, just… in a different form.”

The words were somehow soothing, as was Maz’s tone, so Rey allowed her shoulders to relax, nodding as she reached for another piece of bread.

“Can you tell us a story, Maz?” Rose asked, and the last bit of tension dissipated from Rey’s body as she nodded.

“Yes, the one about the peace treaty with the Gungans!”

“No, we heard that one last week,” Rose whined. “Tell us the one about the war with Mustafar!”

“No, the one about the construction of Theed!”

“I know, I know!” Rose cried, bouncing excitedly on her chair. “Tell us another one about the Dark King!”

“I believe I've already asked you _not_ to call him that, young lady,” Maz murmured, her glasses reflecting the warm light of the lamp on the opposite wall.

“Yeah, but why not?” Rose asked. Rey immediately recognized the tone her friend would use whenever she was trying to prod a story out of the tiny woman. She'd recognize it anywhere. “He _did_ go dark, didn’t he?”

“Because,” Maz said carefully, like she was pondering each word. “Because he had a name. It was king Anakin. And he did… lose himself for a while, yes. But what matters is that he found his way back in the end.” The old woman leaned closer to the girls, a grave look in her beady eyes. “We all lose ourselves at some point in our lives. Some more than others, but we all do. At the end of the day, what matters is how hard we fight to find our way back.” 

The girls just sat in silence for a long moment, staring at Maz with their brows knitted, until she spoke again.

“I don’t expect that to make sense to you now, but it will. One day. Now c’mon, eat. You can take whatever’s left when you’re done, it should last you the week.”

They didn't protest, the prospect of having honey at home way too enticing to resist, but Rose did lean back on her chair, holding her stomach.

“I’m full. Can I help you with the leftovers?”

“I’m good too,” Rey said, looking at the crumbs scattered across the stone floor. “I’ll sweep while you do it.”

With a sigh, Maz nodded her agreement, so Rey stood up, looking for a broomstick. She found it propped against the wall, just two feet away or so, so she extended her hand casually, making it fly straight towards her.

Maz sprang to her feet immediately, her eyes wide and shocked behind the thick lenses of her glasses.

“What did you just do?”

There was something in her tone Rey had never heard – urgency, distress, maybe even fear. The girl looked at Rose for support, unable to figure out what she’d done wrong.

“I just… grabbed the broom.”

“You didn’t grab it,” Maz whispered, as if the walls of the empty cantina could hear them talking. “You didn’t touch it.”

“Oh, that?” Rose said lightheartedly, smiling at the woman. “You didn’t know Rey could do magic? It’s pretty cool. Pretty handy, too.”

“Have you ever done it in public? Rey, has anyone ever seen you use it?”

There was a distinct note of desperation in Maz’s voice now. It made Rey frown as she sat back down on the chair, a deep crease between her eyebrows.

“I… I don’t think so, no. But what’s the big deal? The boys do magic down at the docks all the time.”

“That’s not magic Rey, that’s scamming. But this,” the woman said, taking Rey’s hands between hers and holding them kindly. “This is something else.”

When she looked up at Rey’s face, there was kindness in her old eyes – kindness, and a fluttering emotion Rey couldn’t quite name.

“Please, promise me you’ll keep it to yourself.”

“But Maz –”

“Rey, please.”

“Is it wrong? Did I do something wrong?” Rey asked, dread clawing its way up her chest. Maz shook her head vehemently, clutching her hands more firmly.

“No, no, child, you did nothing wrong. Nothing. But this…” She looked down at Rey’s hands, her beady eyes sparkling. “This is a gift. And there are bad people out there – bad people who… Who may… want to take advantage of it, you see?”

Rey swallowed thickly, staring down at her hands.

“But _how_?”

“ _Rey_. Please. You’ll understand one day.”

“That’s a lot of things I’ll ‘understand one day.’” Rey grumbled, staring down at the floor.

“I know, I know,” Maz said apologetically, searching for Rey’s eyes. “And I’m sorry. But I need you to be safe.”

They just stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, until Rey finally nodded, pursing her lips.

“Okay. I promise.”

“Good girl,” Maz murmured, squeezing Rey’s hands kindly before letting go with a smile and a wink. “Now come, come help me out with this food. I’ll throw in some extra honey.”

“I…” Rey stammered, avoiding eye contact with Rose. All of a sudden, it felt like all she needed in the world was a bit of fresh air. “I’d rather feed the horses. If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” Maz nodded, wiping her hands on her apron. “Of course, they’ll love to see you.”

With a small smile and a nod, Rey stood up, quickly making her way towards the back door.

The night outside felt pleasantly cool against her skin, and she allowed her eyes to flutter shut for a moment, letting the fresh scent of jasmines and grass fill her lungs. It seemed to dissolve a bit of the heaviness in her chest, so she opened her eyes again, walking towards the small barn in Maz’s backyard. Her boots made loud squooshing sounds on the mud as she walked, and the horses seemed to hear it, because their heads were sticking out of their stalls when she approached them.

“Night, Threepio. Night, Artoo,” Rey smiled as she grabbed a bucket full of hay from the ground. “Did you miss me?”

They must have been beautiful horses once, or at least that's what Rey thought. Their manes were knotted and matted with mud now, and their hair looked dull and dirty, but Threepio’s beautiful shade of golden caramel and Artoos blueish-black markings still looked stunning to her.

She was admiring their beauty, standing on her tiptoes to try and touch their heads, when she heard a familiar voice.

“Are you a ghost?”

The sound of the metal bucket hitting the ground was deafening in the quiet night, almost loud enough to drown out Rey’s gasp.

“You’re not real,” she whispered, mostly to herself, refusing to turn around towards the voice.

“You are, aren’t you? Do you…” He paused for a second, and Rey could hear him swallow thickly. “Do you know you’re dead?”

There was something in his voice – a hint of fear, or maybe pity – that made Rey turn around out of sheer anger.

“I’m _not_ dead.” 

“That’s exactly what someone who doesn’t know they’re dead would say.”

“Rey?” Rose called from the door, sticking her head out towards the backyard. “You okay?”

Rey’s eyes darted towards the cantina, wide and panicked. When Rose did nothing but stare at her for a long moment, head cocked in curiosity, it hit her like a tidal wave.

Rose couldn’t see him.

“No, just…” Rey stammered, trying to ignore the boy clad in velvet in front of her. “I just dropped something. It’s too dark back here. But I’m almost done!”

“Okay, be careful,” Rose answered before disappearing back inside.

“Who was that?”

Rey made a point of ignoring the question, turning back around to collect the bucket from the ground. As she should have expected, the boy followed, walking right into the barn with her.

“Was it a friend? Are they dead, too? Are they… here?”

The fear in his voice did it again, and Rey turned around angrily, staring the boy right in his pale face.

“Who that was is _none_ of your business. And I am _not_ a ghost – they’re not even _real,_ ” she added triumphantly, puffing out her chest.

“Says who?”

“Says Maz.”

“Who’s Maz?”

“That’s _none of your business_ ,” she repeated, bringing her hands to her hips. “But she knows _everything_ , and if she says ghosts are not real, they’re not real, okay?”

The boy blinked at her a few times, moving his lips as if chewing on her words, his dark hair looking almost blue in the dark. He didn’t say anything, so Rey went on.

“And if they’re not real, then _you’re_ not real, so I have _nothing_ to worry about.”

“Listen,” the boy whispered hurriedly, taking a step towards her. Rey responded by taking a scandalized step back, which made the bucket on the ground topple over again. “Look around you. Do you see a bright light? You just have to…” He moved his lanky arms around clumsily, as if shooing an impertinent mosquito. “Walk right into it, okay?”

Rolling her eyes into her head, Rey huffed, turning towards the entrance of the barn.

“ _I. Am. Not. A. Ghost_. Okay? And _you_ are not real, so I’ll just ignore you until you disappear again, thank you very much.”

“No, listen to me, there’s a better life for you on the other side. You _have_ to –”

“And who do you think you are to go telling me what I _have_ to do? _The king_?”

That seemed to shut him up, because he opened and closed his mouth several times but no sound came out of it.

“Good,” Rey said with a satisfied nod. “Now leave me alone. _You. Are. Not. Real._ ”

Turning on her heels, she stomped back towards the lights of the cantina, refusing to look back and check if the boy had disappeared. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry if this was kinda slow/boring. I like to take my time setting things up, but I promise the next couple chapters will be 100% Baby!Ben and Baby!Rey. And then we go straight into a preeeetty big time jump... Mwahahaha!
> 
> Last week I told you I might have finished the fic by the time I posted this chapter and guess what? I DID IT! SUCK IT, JJ! So, poll time: how many updates a week do you guys prefer as readers? I was thinking maybe two (Tuesdays/Fridays), but let me know if you think that could get a little overwhelming! I love your faces <3


	3. A stream, an ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates a week it is, then! I hope you enjoy this one <3

Three days.

Rey spent a total of three blissful, glorious days seeing neither hide nor hair of the boy – no pale, angular face staring her as if she were a riddle to be solved; no formal, strangely pompous voice accusing her of being dead; no dark, unsettlingly soulful eyes searching hers for _anything_. As she watched the crystalline morning of the fourth day unravel, with the sun rising in a cloudless sky and tinting the jade rooftops of the palace pink, she felt like she could finally breathe again.

He’d been a hallucination caused by exhaustion – nothing less, nothing more. She could now put it behind her. It would be her little secret, and no outsider looking in would ever know she’d ever seen a ghost.

Before her eyes, the sun finally left its hiding place behind the palace, beginning its daily journey across the sky. As it bathed the city in golden, Rey tried to ignore the furtive voice inside her head that whispered there was something about the phantom boy she’d miss dearly.

The marketplace was busy that day – way busier than usual. It was the time of the month when shipments arrived in the kingdom coming from all over the continent. Fruit from Alderaan, iron utensils from Coruscant, fish from Scarif, wool and silk from the countryside of Naboo. Along with them, came merchants dressed in colorful clothes, speaking colorful languages, and they all filled Rey’s chest with a giddy sense of anticipation for the stories Maz would tell her after they'd left.

She didn’t work at the heart of the market, though. There was nothing there for her. Rey’s treasures lay in the alleys, inside burlap sacks and moldy crates; under ripped sheets and behind piles of discarded rotting wood. Her eyes were trained to find these little nests – the ones that more often than not proved to be brimming with treasures.

“There you are,” she muttered under her breath as she peeled back a heavy piece of yellowish sailcloth, revealing a crate filled with old metal pans, kettles, and dishes. With glistening eyes and expert hands, she was starting to make her way through the loot when she heard it.

“I know what you are.” 

Rey froze in place, midway through spinning a rusty metal bowl between her fingers. For a long moment, she remained silent, bent over the crate with her heart beating in her throat.

“Stop pretending you don’t hear me. I know you do.”

She could see him in her peripheral vision, a tall blur of black and white, but she refused to turn and look, instead choosing to keep working until he disappeared like he was bound to.

The boy, on the other hand, didn't seem like he was about to give up.

“I’ve been doing some digging in the library, and I think I’ve figured it out.” 

Shock wiped Rey’s strategy from her mind, and the next thing she knew she was fully facing him, jaw slack and metal bowl hanging limply from her left hand.

“The library?” she said, equal parts amused and scandalized. “You’re one _fancy_ ghost, aren’t you?”

She’d seen two books in her lifetime, maybe three – the dusty, worn-out volumes Maz had used to teach her and Rose how to read. Other than that, books were an absolute rarity even this close to the capital. The richest merchants held a collection of maybe seven or eight, but a library would be unthinkable outside of Theed itself.

“I thought ghosts didn’t exist,” the boy said, a triumphant glimmer in his dark eyes.

“If they’re all as annoying as you, it’s no wonder they’re extinct.”

“They can’t go extinct if they’re dead,” he replied, eyes flickering down to the bowl Rey had brandished in his direction as she spoke.

She found herself forced to admit he had a solid point. 

“Well, then you can… go look for the light, or something,” she said, swatting a tendril of hair away from her face before crossing her arms.

“Oh, but you’re not a ghost, and neither am I,” the boy said, smiling smugly. “You’re my imaginary friend.”

It took Rey a second to register what he’d said, but when she did she couldn’t help the snort that made her bring her hand over her mouth.

“What’s so funny about that?” he demanded, a crimson blush creeping up the collar of his white silk blouse.

“Wouldn’t we have to be _friend_ s for me to be your _imaginary friend_?”

The words sounded mean to Rey’s ears the second they left her mouth, and she felt an immediate urge to apologize. No one, she decided, deserved to be treated with scorn – not even ghosts. He spoke first, though, sounding completely unfazed by her jab.

“Well, no one likes me very much. Why should I expect you to?”

And there was something about the tone of his voice – a sorrow, a resignation – that made Rey’s chest feel weirdly tight.

“That’s… bleak,” she said, cocking her head. “Even for a ghost.”

The boy just shrugged, crossed his arms, and leaned against the grimy brick wall of the alley.

“If you’d made me up in your mind, I’d like you, no?” she asked, and he shrugged again in response, staring at some point above her right shoulder.

“Not necessarily, no. I don’t think I like myself very much.”

Rey didn’t respond, but instead shifted awkwardly from side to side, trying to find something to say.

“Well,” she finally murmured, clearing her throat. “What else did you find, then? About imaginary friends?”

“That children tend to make them up when they’re really imaginative. Or just really lonely.”

“And which one are you?” she asked impulsively, not really sure why she’d decided to play along with a ghost, of all people.

The boy shrugged again. When he looked at the ground, the softness in his features made him look almost unrecognizable, as if he’d put on a mask, or maybe taken one off.

“I don’t think I’m very imaginative,” he finally answered. His eyes were glistening when he looked up at her.

“Lonely, then, huh?” she concluded, gnawing at her bottom lip. “Even in a fancy paradise full of books?”

“Those tend to be the loneliest.” There was no humor in his side smile, and Rey didn’t smile either, keeping her gaze awkwardly trained on her feet. 

“What’s your name?” she finally felt the urge to ask. The question made the boy’s eyes widen at her, as if he weren’t expecting it.

“It’s… It’s Kylo,” he answered after a long moment of hesitation. Rey nodded.

“I’m Rey. And you can come haunt me sometimes if you want to. I mean, I’m sure there are worse ghosts out there.”

This time, he did smile at her. She smiled back, thinking that he looked a lot better like this.

***

The room was so dark Rey couldn’t really see the ceiling, and still she kept staring intently at it, as if it could give her all the answers she needed. Daylight hadn’t started to make its way through the tears and holes in the makeshift curtains yet, which told her it must not yet be morning. It wasn’t night either, though. She seemed to be trapped in the weird first stretch of dawn, in which monsters had a peculiar tendency to grow in size.

A prickly feeling tickled her temple when she sighed. She raised her hand to her face hurriedly, making quick work of the fresh tear on her skin as if worried that someone might actually see it.

As she dried her hand on the rough blanket that covered her torso, a warm feeling started to spread through her body; a strange sense of peace, as if someone had reached into her head and dimmed the noise inside of it, allowing her a few glorious moments of clarity. A week ago, she might have thought she was just drifting back to sleep. Now, however, she knew the feeling, because, in hindsight, past the fear and the shock, she could admit she’d only felt it three times before. 

“Are you crying?”

Rey’s swollen eyes strayed from the ceiling to the ottoman. Sure enough, Kylo was sitting there cross-legged, his thick, unruly black hair sticking out in all different directions as he looked down at her.

“No,” she lied, stifling a sniff as she stared back at the ceiling.

“Looks like it.”

His voice was soft, almost a little hoarse. Rey wondered idly if he’d just woken up, and if there was such thing as sleep in the afterlife.

“You’re a bit of a know-it-all, aren’t you?”

“I try,” he answered with no hesitation. That actually made Rey chuckle and look at him again.

The first rays of a new day had finally started to stream into her small home. As one of them settled on his face, she could see his eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, too.

“Are _you_ crying?”

“No,” he shot quickly, in a tone remarkably similar to the one she’d used before. It made her chuckle again, throwing him a teary smile.

“I’ll tell if you tell,” he said softly, snuggling up against the wall. Rey wiped the corner of her eye, shaking her head.

“It’s stupid.”

“This is not real, remember? You can tell me stupid stuff.”

And it was infuriating, really, the way he always seemed to have a point, so Rey just drew in a deep breath, lying in silence for a long moment as the boy waited patiently. When she spoke, her voice scratched her throat on its way out.

“It’s Rose.”

“Who’s Rose?”

“My friend,” she answered, flipping over to her side to face him. “The one I was talking to the other day.”

Kylo just nodded his acknowledgement, listening intently. She sniffed, wiping her nose on the cushion under her head. 

“She… she works at the market. With a merchant – Mr. Watto. He went pick up some stuff in Alderaan – fruit, I think, maybe spices – and she had to go with him.”

She lay in silence for another moment, and the boy just looked at her, their breathing the only sound disrupting the silence in the darkened room.

“And you’re sad because…” he finally said, hugging his knees. “Because she went?”

“No,” Rey murmured, shaking her head. “I think I’m sad because… because she’s not here.”

“Because you feel alone?”

It took Rey a long moment to answer, but when she did the words fell naturally from her lips, as if they’d just been sitting there forever, waiting to be said.

“Because when she’s not here I can’t pretend that I’m not.”

To her surprise, the boy didn’t ask for further explanation, nor did he try to convince her that she was wrong, but instead just nodded. She couldn’t help the gratitude that spread through her chest.

“Where are your parents?” he asked softly, as if he knew that was the question that needed to be asked. Rey averted her eyes, waiting another moment before she answered.

“I don’t have any.” Kylo remained in complete silence, his eyes soft and kind as he stared down at her, waiting patiently for her to be ready to continue. “They… they left me here when I was five. Well, not _here_ , here,” she specified, wiping her eyes. “With a man. The man I work for. I found a way to live alone as soon as I could, though. He’s… not nice.”

“And you live alone now?”

“With Rose,” Rey explained, pulling the blanket closer to her neck. “There are days, you know… days when I’m sure they’re coming back for me. But then there are days…”

“Like today?”

When she looked up at the boy, his eyes were sparkling in the half-light.

“Like today.”

“It’s not your fault, you know?” Kylo said matter-of-factly, resting his head on the armrest of the ottoman. Rey responded with a puzzled look. “That they left. It’s not your fault.”

And Rey – Rey had never actively believed that, not really, but the way the painful lump in her throat liquefied and streamed down her face in the form of fat, hot tears when she heard his words told her that some part of her brain probably had.

“How could you know that?” she managed to choke out. The boy smiled kindly, his pale angular face all shapes and shadows in the first light of dawn.

“How could it have been? You were five. What can five year olds even do?”

“A lot.”

“Well, not enough to deserve _that_. No one deserves that. They were probably just low-lives or filthy drunks who…”

“Not helpful,” Rey choked out, and the boy’s eyes widened as he sat up.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I just… I’m not good at talking to people. What I’m trying to say is…” He scratched his head, clearly struggling to find the words he actually meant. “What I’m trying to say is there must be a reason why they left, but you weren’t it. And that... that there’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing that would make other people leave, too. You know?”

“That…” Rey murmured, wiping her cheeks on the threadbare blanket. “That actually helps. A bit. Thank you.”

“It’s okay,” he replied, seeming more relaxed as he lay back down.

“Your turn now.”

A long stretch of silence followed, and something hummed in the air, telling Rey that was what he needed. Time. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded a lot smaller than it had before.

“I heard my parents talking about me. They…” His voice cracked at the last word, and he took a deep breath before he went on. “They think I’m a monster.”

“Did they actually _say_ that?” Rey asked incredulously, pushing up on her elbow. Kylo just shrugged.

“They might as well have. They’re… afraid.”

“Of what?”

“That I’ll turn out like my grandfather.”

“What’s wrong with turning out like your grandfather?”

Kylo chuckled at that – a humorless chuckle that shook his chest, but didn’t reach his eyes.

“He was a bad man. I mean, not at first, but he… became a bad man. A very bad one.”

“And why would they think you’d go bad, too?” Rey asked, a furrow forming between her brows. He looked at her like she’d just asked him why the sky was blue, blinking a few times before he answered.

“Because… I’m his grandson. I have his blood.”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” she insisted, sitting up cross-legged to get a better look on his face. “I mean, whose father was he?”

“My mom’s.”

“And is your mom bad?”

“N-no,” the boy murmured, blinking again. “No, she’s good. But… it’s different.”

“How is it any different? She has ‘his blood’ too, doesn’t she? Besides,” she added, lying back down and fluffing the lumpy cushion under her head. “You said he didn’t start off bad. What would make them think you’d get the bad stuff from him, not the good?”

“You don’t understand.”

“Well, explain it to me, then.”

“I have this…” he started, swallowing thickly. “This thing. This…. They call it this _darkness_. I get angry a lot. Very angry, and I… it’s like I can’t control it.”

“Well, I get angry all the time, too. I mean, sometimes…” Rey stopped and stared at him, wondering if saying it out loud was a good idea. He looked at her expectantly, and the comfort she found in his eyes helped her make the call. “Sometimes I… I look at people – at Plutt, or Mr. Watto – and I just feel so… I feel like this thing inside of me is going to explode. And I want bad things to happen to them. Very bad things.”

Kylo just nodded almost imperceptibly, and Rey wet her lips, her heart pounding violently in her chest.

“Does that make me a monster, too?”

“No,” he murmured, shaking his head. “No, of course not. It’s different.”

“Why?” Rey asked, cocking her head. “Why can you excuse my darkness, but not yours?”

He stared at her for a while as if she’d just informed him that the sky was, indeed, red.

“Because you’re not dark,” he finally whispered. “You’re light.”

“But aren’t we all a little bit of both?”

The sun had already flooded the room by now, painting furniture and features a deep shade of orange, which might be why Kylo’s hesitant smile felt so warm to her.

“I’m right,” she whispered, cozying up under her blanket. “You know I am.”

“You like being right, don’t you?”

“Oh, excuse me, Mr. _Library_.”

He chuckled at that, and Rey smiled teasingly, wrinkling her nose up at him.

“Thank you,” he finally said just as sleep was starting to weigh on her eyelids again.

“For what?”

“For listening.”

“That’s what friends do, isn’t it?”

He shot her a crooked smile, raising one eyebrow.

“We _friends_ now?”

“Imaginary friends,” she smiled, and the sound of his chuckle lulled her as she allowed her eyes to flutter shut.

She could still feel his presence when sleep claimed her again.

***

As Rey spun the apple between her small fingers, it caught the sunlight in its imperfections, making each indentation seem deeper than it was. She swallowed, raising her eyes to the palace and its smooth, perfect walls. The sight always seemed to calm her chest somehow.

The flat rooftop over her house was the highest point of this part of Naboo, or at least that’s what she liked to believe whenever she sat there like that, staring at the horizon, allowing herself to believe nothing could touch her.

Turning the palm of her hand upwards, she set the fruit down on it, trying to block out the noise inside her head. It was louder somedays, like furious waves crashing inside her, fighting furiously to escape her skin. On days like those, this always helped.

It didn’t mean that she didn’t feel guilt – she always did, after what Maz had told her. But… Maz had simply asked her not to let anyone _see it_ , hadn’t she? And Rey was sure no one could _see_ her here – not on top of her castle; not this high above narrow streets and bustling markets, so far away that she could barely hear all the life simmering below her feet.

She inhaled again, focusing on the turmoil; on this itch she couldn’t seem to scratch, and in no time the fruit was hovering above her hand, wobbling in the air as it lost contact with her skin. It helped ease the pressure, so Rey focused harder, making the apple float higher and higher; closing her eyes when it was finally level with her chest. Her forehead wrinkled in concentration as she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the raging waves calm inside of her as if they’d finally found a soft stretch of sand to crash upon.

And then there was silence – blissful, glorious silence; the type she rarely got to experience, even when she did this. In fact, the type she’d only experienced when…

“You have it.”

Rey gasped when her eyes flew open, and the apple that was floating high above her head plummeted to the ground, diving full speed towards yellow stone.

A few inches before the impact, it stopped, and there it remained, wobbling and dancing in circles, catching the sunlight in its yellowish, irregular peel. When Rey raised her eyes, Kylo was standing before her with his hand outstretched, palm pointed to the floating apple. His eyes were wide when they locked it hers.

“You have it, too,” he whispered, lowering his hand. The apple followed, landing softly on the ground before it rolled slowly towards Rey’s crossed legs.

“Have what?” she asked defensively, making to stand up, but he took a few steps forward, sitting down in front of her.

“I mean, it makes sense that you do if I created you,” he continued in that logical logical tone of his, pursing his lips in concentration as if trying to solve a puzzle.

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked, louder and more firmly this time. He looked at her again, his eyes almost hazel in bright daylight.

“The apple. You were making it float.”

“No, I wasn’t,” she retorted defensively, and he knitted his eyebrows together in response.

“Yes, you were.”

“I wasn’t!”

“I saw it.”

“You saw it wrong, okay?” she hissed, making to stand up again. She stopped when he raised his hand in the air, asking her to wait.

“Why.. why are you.. I mean, you don’t have to be ashamed.”

“I’m not _ashamed_ ,” she spat, eyes narrowed, her voice strained by the tears burning in her throat. “I’m…" Swallowing thickly, Rey blinked before exhaling a quivering puff of air. "I’m just not supposed to do it, okay?”

Against all odds, it felt good to say it, so she drew in a big breath, sitting down cross-legged again.

“Why?” His voice was as soft as the look on his face when he said it, and Rey breathed deeply, pursing her lips.

“Because… because I was told it could be dangerous.”

To her surprise, he nodded, a grave look replacing the softness in his eyes.

“It’s… I mean, it’s not _untrue,_ but fear makes it worse.”

“How?”

“It’s… it’s what all my tutors say, that fear is the path to darkness.”

“Your _tutors_? What are you, the ghost of a freaking prince?”

Kylo blinked several times, clearing his throat before he went on.

“Can we focus on the real issue? You have to embrace it, understand it, not _fear_ it.”

“But what _is it_?” Rey whined, her patience wearing dangerously thin. Kylo seemed to notice it, because he pursed his lips in concentration, apparently looking for the best way to explain it.

“Close your eyes.”

“No!”

“Close them.”

“I said _no_!”

“Do you trust me?”

There was so much resolve in his face and his eyes when he said it that Rey had to take a moment to process his words.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?” he repeated, and she wrinkled her nose, shaking her head.

“Of course not, you’re a ghost!”

“ _Rey,_ ”

“ _Kylo._ ”

He sighed exasperatedly, wiping a hand down his face.

“Listen, just…” he said, shaking his head. “Just close your eyes, okay? I promise it’ll help.”

Rey eyed him suspiciously for a long moment. Once again, his determination convinced her to agree, so she closed her eyes reluctantly.

“Great,” she heard his voice say, firm but somehow sweet. “Now breathe. Breathe, then reach out.”

“You mean…”

“Reach out with your feelings. Try to see what’s beyond _this_. Beyond us.”

Behind her closed eyelids, she saw nothing but fluttering darkness. After a few seconds, frustration began to simmer in her chest.

“I don’t see _anything_!”

“Breathe,” he murmured kindly. “Breathe, try to empty your head. That thing inside of you – let it flow. Let it flow out of you, and follow it wherever it goes.”

For another moment, she saw nothing but filtered sunlight. Her brow creased in frustration again, and she pressed her lips together, watching the waves lap haphazardly inside of her. Then one of them rolled forward lazily, stretching away from the others, and her breath hitched when it licked its way out of her flesh, melting into the world around her. 

And then she _felt_ it, so real and colorful and bright it was almost like seeing it.

“I… I think I see…" Rey licked her lips, furrowing her brow as she tried to make sense of the luminous shapes that slowly took form around her. _Inside her_. She wouldn't have been able to tell. "Naboo. It feels like Naboo.”

“And what else?”

“Life.” The word fell from her lips, hesitant and shaky as her mind soared high above the Solleu Valley. Deep within the ground, she could feel life that had once been pulsing in the cold soil, making it damp and dense.“Death and decay… that feeds new life.” Up on the surface, the icy waters of the Solleu river splashed the sun-warmed stones that lay in its course, breaking and shaping them, leaving them wet and glistening under the sun. “Warmth… and cold. Peace… and violence.”

“And between all that?”

That's when she felt them - the veins of bright light that ran through the turmoil in her chest, warm and bright and real for the first time in her life, soothing her like the golden beams of pale, late afternoon sun.

“Balance,” she smiled. “An energy… a Force.”

“And inside you?”

Rey opened her eyes to find Kylo’s face lit up, his eyes glistening with anticipation.

“Inside me… that same force.”

He smiled brightly at her, and she couldn’t help smiling back, a low chuckle leaving her chest.

“That’s what it is,” he said, eyes fixed on hers. “It’s a natural energy between all things that some people can… tap into. Feel. Touch and bend. Some people feel it like a stream. Or… or a river, or a creek. But some of us…” He swallowed thickly, working his lips. “Some of us feel it like an ocean. Sometimes it’s calm and peaceful, but some days it’s just… Brutal. Violent.”

“Noisy,” Rey whispered, feeling a tear trickle down her cheek. Kylo offered her a small, understanding smile as he nodded.

“Noisy. That’s it.”

“That’s what it’s like for me. Most of the time,” she said sheepishly, staring down at her hands.

“For me too,” he said softly, averting his eyes as well. “Except… except when you’re around. Then it’s… it gets kinda…”

“Quiet.”

They raised their eyes at the same time, and Rey could see her own tears mirrored in his when they met halfway.

“Yes,” he whispered. “At peace.”

They sat in silence for a long moment, until Rey averted her eyes again, turning her head towards the palace.

“Is it,” she asked, struggling to push the words out of her throat. “Is it what they call Wielding?”

“Yes,” Kylo confirmed, his eyes still fixed on her face.

“But,” she stammered, her eyes darting down towards her lap again. “But it only runs in noble blood. Wielding.”

“Well, you _are_ a figment of my imagination, so I don’t think the rules apply,” he answered, that unwavering, pompous logic of his tone making Rey chuckle again. “Besides, isn’t that a stupid rule? I mean, you felt it. It’s everywhere. Why would it only run in noble blood?” 

“I dunno.” Rey shrugged. “And it doesn’t matter, anyway. I mean, that only proves Maz was right. It’s not like it’s something I can… parade down the streets of Old Naboo, is it?” 

“Old Naboo?” he asked, his voice brimming with curiosity. “That’s where you’re from?”

Rey just offered him a confused nod, which Kylo answered with the smile of someone who’d just fit another piece into a puzzle.

“It makes sense,” he nodded. “I’ve always wanted to see the city. You know, outside the walls.”

“Which walls?”

“Theed,” he answered, as if it should have been obvious.

“Theed?” Rey exclaimed, wondering if the imaginary friend theory might hold some truth, after all. “It _does_ make sense… I mean, I love the citadel _so much_ , it’s just so… _pretty_. I’ve always wanted to see it up close.”

Kylo laughed humorlessly at that, staring at a loose cuticle as he picked on it.

“You’d be disappointed.”

“Unlikely.”

“You would,” he insisted, looking up at her again. “I just know.”

Scoffing, Rey looked towards the palace again, following a big flock of blue martins as they made their way over the jade rooftops.

“Not a chance.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Just wanted to take the time to let you know how important each kudo, bookmark and comment is to me. Writing can be a very lonely, very scary process, and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes the prospect of hearing what you guys think of these stories I'm trying to tell is the only thing that gives me the nerve to post a chapter. If a story ever makes you feel something or inspires any thoughts, please consider leaving a comment. I promise you'll be putting a smile to an author's face and, trust me, sometimes we could use a reason to smile. 
> 
> I love your faces! See you on Friday <3


	4. As the skyline splits in two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title obviously inspired by All of the Stars, by Ed Sheeran.
> 
> CW: Major character death! Please mind the archive warning!

It felt erratic, at first. Sometimes he’d go a week without coming, sometimes he’d show up more than twice a day, with no rhyme or reason to when he came or went. After a while, Rey stopped trying to find logic in any of it – in when, where or how he’d show up; in the clothes he’d be wearing; in how long he’d stay each time. As days became months and months became years, the questions that had haunted her at first simply ceased to be, leaving nothing behind but a blissful sense of relief every time she felt his presence beginning to form. 

He might well be a ghost, or an imaginary friend, or even a hallucination. Did it matter, though, when every minute of every hour he wasn’t there was filled with all this wishing that he were?

“ _That’s_ a lie!” Rey cackled, pressing her back against the hot trunk behind her. Autumn had already painted the leaves of the great oak tree a warm shade of orange. Under the golden hour light, one would almost believe they were made of copper.

“I swear!” he insisted, sitting just a few feet away, his weight casually braced on his right arm.

“ _Decoys_? Really?”

“Well, they’re technically called handmaidens. And they’re more than decoys.”

“And how do they find a bunch of queen lookalikes? They just… pick them up on the streets?”

Kylo smiled as he shrugged, running his left hand through his thick, short hair. He was taller now, taller than most fifteen year old boys, and now his movements looked even clumsier, like he hadn’t had time to adjust to his new size. Rey smiled fondly watching him pick up a blade of grass and spin it between his long fingers.

“I don’t know, but every queen has them. It’s a tradition.”

“Yeah? And how come I’ve never heard of it?”

“It wouldn’t be a very effective strategy if everyone knew, would it?”

Rey’s smiled widened as she shook her head, holding her lower lip between her teeth.

“And how would _you_ know, then? _Wait!_ Let me guess… You’re… the son of the king’s Master of the Robes!”

There was a tense edge to his laugh that Rey chose to ignore, instead focusing on the leaf-shaped shadows the sun cast on his face as it streamed through the branches above their heads.

“No,” he smiled, shaking his head. “I know him, though. The Master of the Robes. I don’t like him.”

“You don’t like _anyone._ ” 

“I like you.”

It fell from his lips as naturally as the leaves falling on the ground around them, and she saw him tense immediately, his ears going bright red against his jet black hair.

“I mean,” he stammered, and Rey smiled wider, resting her head against the rugged bark behind her.

“It’s okay. I know you don’t like me either.”

His shoulders relaxed a little when he saw her smile, and he shifted on the grass, turning to face her.

“Wanna train?”

“Nah,” she said, using her foot to poke the burlap sack that lay right next to her. “Last time sucked.”

“It didn’t suck. You just have to trust yourself more.”

“It’s not about _trusting_ myself. It was too heavy.”

“Rocks aren’t any different from apples, or oranges, or cushions, and you lift those just fine.”

“ _Rocks aren’t any different from apples_?” Rey repeated, laughing incredulously. “Do you hear yourself?”

“They aren’t,” Kylo insisted, leaning closer. “Size doesn’t matter – not when you have an ocean to use. You just have to concentrate. Trust your power. Make the water flow right, you know?”

“Right,” she said, smiling as she cocked her head. “Rematch tomorrow? Long day today.”

“Okay,” he agreed, smiling back at her. “What do you wanna do, then?”

“Tell me more about Theed,” she said, hugging her knees and resting her chin on top of them. “What else don’t people know about it?” 

Sometimes they had these lazy afternoons that stretched for hours, feeling endless until they ended. Sometimes they were short encounters when way too many people were around. When it happened – and any time it happened was one time too many – they’d simply acknowledge each other’s presence with discreet nods and read their hellos and their goodbyes in each other’s eyes. Sometimes their encounters fell somewhere in between, like later that night, when Rey was up on the roof staring at the stars.

“You again? Jesus,” she whispered, turning her head to the side to find him lying next to her, the moonlight casting a blueish sheen onto his pale skin.

He just laughed in response, shaking his head as his eyes roamed towards the sky.

“Why are we whispering?”

“’Cause Rose is home.”

“Right,” he murmured, tapping his fingers rhythmically on his chest. “And what are you doing up here?”

“The sky’s pretty tonight,” she answered with a shrug. When he looked over at her, she could have sworn she could almost feel the warmth of his body.

“It is.” 

High above them, a splatter of silver stars was splayed across the night sky, and the milky aisle they traced laid a gleaming veil over the entire city. The more Rey looked at it, the more she felt as if every single light that dotted the starlit road was twinkling in time with their breathing.

“Can you see Lacerta from where you are?”

His voice was soft and lazy, as if he were about to drift off. It made Rey smile.

“What’s Lacerta?

“A constellation. It’s called that because it looks like a lizard.”

“You’re so making that up!” Rey laughed, turning her head to face him.

“I swear! I saw it in an Astronomy book.”

“And was that in your _library_?”

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

It was probably her favorite thing, the way he smiled when she teased him. Everything about it felt special: the way a faint blush would spread across his dimples, so obvious against his pale complexion; the way his hand would fly to his hair instinctively, as if searching for something to keep occupied; the amused glint in his eyes that would make them look like sweet, golden honey. In more ways than one, it felt like something to be earned; something secret and precious she could pretend was entirely her own.

“C’mon, look for it,” he whispered, the ghost of a blush still lingering on his cheeks. “I wanna know if we’re seeing the same sky.”

“And what am I looking for?”

“A string of really bright stars,” he explained, his eyes fixed on the sky. “In a sort of zigzag.”

“I think I see it!” she said, her heart racing as she found a little cluster of stars that matched the description. “Kinda.”

She’d been looking at the constellation for barely a second when a blur of light shot through it, brighter than any of the stars around it.

A shooting star.

“You see that?” she whispered, the smile on her face tinting her voice.

“Make a wish.”

He’d barely said the words, his voice sweet and drowsy, when Rey started to feel his presence slip away. Her eyes fluttered shut by pure instinct, refusing to stay open and see him vanish.

It wasn’t what she’d asked for.

***

She should have known there was something different about that day from the second she woke up. As a matter of fact, she probably did. There was something eerily heavy in the air that seeped through her flesh from the moment she opened her eyes, making her bones feel weirdly cold.

She chose to ignore it, though, shrugging it off to the early morning as she dipped her cupped hands into the chipped green bowl and splashed her face with water.

“Does it help if I open the curtains?”

“Nah,” Rey grumbled to Rose as she rubbed her swollen eyes. “Let me wake up first.”

“You can sleep a little longer if you want to, you know? I’m the one who has to be there at the ass crack of dawn.”

Her friend was sitting on the ottoman, knees tucked under her chin as she combed through her long, thick black hair. Rey threw her a half-smile as she fixed her three buns, shaking her head.

“Nah, it’s okay. I wanna go a little further today, maybe down to the old ruins by lake Paonga.”

“Good luck getting your ass raided by Gungans,” Rose said ominously as she tied her shoes. Rolling her eyes, Rey flipped her hand casually, making a cushion that was lying on the floor shoot straight towards her friend’s face.

“You bitch!” Rose squealed, laughing as she threw the pillow back half-heartedly.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Rey said, smiling as she jerked her head towards the door. “You’re going to be late.”

The streets were eerily silent as the girls made their way through them. The sun was still rising in the horizon, and the last traces of the night still lingered in the air, but even then the silence that accompanied the sound of their footsteps still felt out of place.

“It’s… quiet, isn’t it?” Rey murmured, fixing the strap of her staff across her chest.

Rose agreed with a nod, looking over her shoulder as if the streets behind them could offer her any answers.

“Maybe it’s earlier than we thought?”

“Maybe,” Rey agreed, squinting at the faint sunlight that was starting to dissolve the dark blue sky in hues of purple.

They walked in silence for the most part, their eyes shooting furtive glances towards the closed doors that lined the empty streets.

“C’mon, it can’t be _that_ early!” Rose exclaimed as they rounded a corner and came face to face with an empty, dead silent marketplace. With another glance at the now golden sky, Rey shook her head in agreement.

“It isn’t.”

Without saying a word, both girls rushed down the street towards a bright red door half a block away, their boots sliding on the last traces of dew that covered the cobblestones. 

“Mr. Watto!” Rose yelled, banging her closed fist against the door while Rey looked around anxiously. “Mr. Watto, it’s Rose!”

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence, but then they could hear faint voices followed by the distinct sound of footsteps. Above their heads, a window creaked open, and the girls took two steps back, looking up.

“What are you doing here?” the short, wrinkly man grumbled.

“You asked me to be here early today,” Rose said, confusion lining her every word. “Stocktaking. Remember?”

“Haven’t you heard?”

“What?” the girls asked in unison. The man pursed his lips, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“We’re closed today,” he said, closing the window as he spoke. “Everybody is. The king’s dead.”

The girls stood in stunned silence for a long moment, staring at the closed window with their lips slightly parted. When they finally locked eyes, though, it happened as fast as lightning. Without exchanging a single word, Rey and Rose bolted up the street again, retracing the path they’d just walked so slowly. It seemed like time hadn’t even passed when they reached their house again, and, at the same time, it felt like years had gone by. Tripping over their feet, the girls stumbled together into their shared room, peeling back the curtains so quickly the tattered fabric threatened to rip under their clumsy hands.

Before their eyes, the Royal Palace sat proudly under a now fully risen sun. From its highest towers, long pieces of black cloth hung lazily, dancing with the soft breeze the morning had brought in its wake.

***

“People are saying it happened in his sleep.”

Rose’s voice was soft, but it still startled Rey.

“You’re back.”

“Yeah,” her friend answered, closing the curtain of the front entrance behind her. “I didn’t get a lot, though. Just that.”

Rubbing her eye, Rey nodded, turning back around to face the palace. It was a weird feeling – having never met someone, and still feeling like she knew them so well from all of the stories she’d heard.

The scoundrel and the princess. The rascal with a heart of gold. The spice runner turned king.

Rey sighed heavily as she recalled them, leaning against the stone pillar by her side.

“He was a good man,” she finally murmured just as Rose sat down next to her.

“He was,” her friend agreed, placing a gentle hand on her knee.

“The queen must be heartbroken.”

“Everyone is.”

“But it’s different, isn’t it?” Rey insisted, rubbing her nose. “Loving someone that much. For that long. Going through all those things together, and then just…”

She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence, but she didn’t have to.

“I can’t even imagine.”

“I don’t think anyone can.”

Rey wouldn’t have been able to tell how long they sat in silence, just staring at the black banners fluttering against the walls of the palace, but the sun told her it was high noon by the time Rose moved again.

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go check on Maz.”

Rey didn’t look away from the horizon when she nodded.

“Wanna come?”

“No,” she answered, still looking at the palace. “I think I want to stay inside today.”

“Right,” her friend murmured kindly, squeezing her hand. “I’ll be back in no time, okay?”

Rey nodded again, offering Rose a tight smile as her friend got up and walked out of the room in quick steps.

It was very Rose, not being able to stay inside in a day like this. For Rey, however, the mere thought of meeting other people right now made her skin crawl. With one very obvious exception, of course.

It almost felt as if her fleeting thought had called to him. It felt like that, sometimes.

She felt him before she saw him, like she’d learned to do through the years, and turned around immediately, searching for him in the small room. Her eyes found him sitting with his back to the wall, hugging his knees to his chest, his eyes red-rimmed and swollen.

“Kylo?” she asked softly. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t answer. In fact, he didn’t even look at her, but just rubbed his eyes vigorously, sniffling as he did. Rey moved towards him carefully, as if approaching an injured animal, and kneeled in front of him, placing her hands on either side of his feet. 

“Is it… is it because of the king?”

When he lowered his hands and looked at her, she could see his eyes were not only swollen, but bloodshot and slightly bruised, as if he’d been rubbing them for hours.

“He’s dead,” he choked out, his face contorting in pain before he buried it in his hands again.

“I know,” Rey murmured kindly, feeling her own eyes sting with tears. “I know, everyone’s devastated. Everyone loved him. You don't have to be ashamed.”

“Oh, I do,” he answered sharply. She could barely recognize his voice, stern and cold as it sounded. "Trust me, I do."

“No. No, you… look at me, please.” He didn’t, but she went on anyway. “You need to stop doing that, okay? Being so harsh on yourself, getting trapped inside your head like that and letting your thoughts get –”

“He’s dead,” the boy repeated, finally lowering his hands again and revealing the tears streaming freely down his face. “Dead. _Dead_.” His voice grew more desperate each time he repeated the word, as if each reiteration made it more real. “He’s _gone_. He’s never coming back. He’s…”

When his voice finally cracked, a dry sob shook his entire body, and Rey leaned closer, her own tears tickling her skin.

“Maz always says no one’s ever really gone,” she whispered, her eyes fixed on the boy’s haunted eyes. “That we… we just rejoin the universe – that we go right back to where we came from. That we still exist after we go, just in a different form.”

Kylo shook his head vehemently, pursing his lips as another sob ripped through his chest.

“You don’t understand.”

“Then _help me_ understand.”

He stared at her for a long moment, his chin quivering with each long breath he took. Rey just waited patiently, watching his eyes roam around her face, completely lost.

“It should have been me,” he finally whispered, his voice hoarse and thick. “I wish it had been me. Then no one would suffer; then no one would –”

“I’d miss you,” Rey said, not letting him finish the sentence. “I’d miss you like I miss you every second of every day when you’re not here.”

“You’re in my head.”

He said that in a pained whisper, almost to himself. It made Rey’s chest ache in a way she couldn’t quite understand.

“Kylo,” she murmured, “Look at me. Please.”

He let his hands fall slowly to his sides, his swollen eyes brimming with a sorrow so deep it was almost palpable. Rey opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so she swallowed thickly, pursing her lips.

She’d never be able to tell what exactly made her do it. She had wanted to do it before, of course, but she'd never had the nerve. Touching him would mean shattering the fantasy, after all – proving he was nothing but a figment of her imagination; proving that none of this was real, and the mere thought of it was enough to make her heart clench painfully. But it wasn’t her rational mind that was in charge when she reached for his hand on the ground, searching desperately for a way to ease the pain in his eyes.

In the back of her mind, she braced herself for nothingness – for her hand to meet the cold stone floor of her house, plunging her right back into the loneliness she knew so well.

What she didn’t expect was to feel the warmth of his skin against hers, right under the palm of her hand.

They both shuddered when they felt it, and their eyes locked, lips parted in stunned awe.

“Kylo, can you…” she whispered, her breathing shallow and ragged. “I can…”

“I can feel you,” he answered, his lips glistening with tears. “I… I can _feel_ you.”

His eyes darted down towards the floor, and her eyes followed just in time to see his hand curl slowly underneath hers, their fingers intertwining as they pressed their palms together. 

“You’re,” she breathed, eyes fixed on their hands. “Are you…”

“Are you real?” he finally asked. When her eyes rose to his face, he was staring right back at her.

“Are you?” she asked, her mouth twitching into a teary smile. “Are you real?”

Their heavy breathing filled up the silence as they stared into each other’s eyes, and Rey wet her lips, entranced by the pulsing warmth against her palm. When he smiled, it was wide and dimpled – not the happy smile she’d learned to love; something sadder and still shadowed by sorrow, but enough to make her stomach flutter.

And, again, it wasn’t her rational mind that called the shot when she brought her other hand to his face and leaned forward in one swift movement, pressing her lips to his cheek.

All around her, he felt warm and real – his cheek against her hand, the tendrils of hair brushing her fingers, his skin under her lips, soft and flushed She lingered there for a moment – maybe a second, maybe a day – reveling in the soothing, humming energy that enveloped them like a blanket.

_Silence. Peace._

She pulled away slowly, only to find his eyes staring at her wide and sparkling with surprise.

“I’m sorry, I…” she stammered, blushing as she came back to her senses. “I-”

“It’s okay,” he breathed, squeezing her hand as if to make sure he could still do it. “It’s… it’s fine.”

And that’s when it started – the noise crawling slowly back into her mind as his presence dimmed and dwindled, drifting away from her reach.

“No,” he said, holding onto her hand. “Not yet. Stay with me. Just a little.”

“I-” she choked, her eyes stinging with tears. “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll be back.” He leaned forward as he said it, their faces only inches away. “I’ll be back, okay? And then we’ll figure this out together.”

“I know,” she whispered, offering him another teary smile. “I know you will.”

Her eyes fluttered shut of their own accord when he started to fade, once again refusing to watch him go.

She would have kept them open until the last second had she known it would be her last chance to see him in years. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S SAD, I KNOW, I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME, I'M AN ANGSTY BITCH!
> 
> I promise a teeth-rottingly sweet happy ending, though! You have my word! And smut. Don't forget about the smut. 
> 
> One last thing I wanted to say: someone sent me a pretty mean ask on Tumblr the other day and I just wanted to clear something up. When I write AUs, I never go for a strict retelling of the story. What I try to do is incorporate the main plot points, themes and story-beats to my own world, if that makes sense. I just want to make that universe work for my interpretation of Reylo, and that means some lines and some scenes will be literally identical to Aladdin, and so will the overarching plot, but a big chunk of the story will be my own thing. I'm really sorry I didn't make that clear from the start, and I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone. 
> 
> That being said, it would mean the world to me if you guys decided to stick around and see what happens! I promise you'll see where the plot's going on Tuesday. Love your faces <3


	5. Threads

The queen didn’t turn around when she heard the knock on the door. She kept her chin propped on her closed fist, elbow digging into the deep blue velvet of the armchair by the window.

“Come in.”

She didn’t turn around when the door creaked open either, nor did she look over her shoulder when the sound of footsteps on hardwood told her someone was approaching. She didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“Your Majesty.”

“Governor,” she said solemnly, eyes fixed on the chaotic patterns the droplets of water were drawing on the window.

“May I have a word with you?”

She finally raised her eyes, letting her arm lie on the armrest.

“I think you’ve just had more than one. But go on.”

The man’s formal smile emphasized the deep lines on his face. He nodded, hands pinned respectfully behind his back.

“Of course, Your Majesty. I’ll be as brief as possible. I would just...” he stopped and pursed his lips, as if trying to find the right words. “I would like to once again voice my concerns. Regarding the prince.”

Leia leaned back on the chair, causing it to creak under her body.

“I believe you’ve already voiced them, Governor Palpatine. On numerous occasions. And I believe the outcome of those conversations has always been the same.”

“Forgive me, M’Lady,” the man murmured with a small bow of his head. “I know you… I know you’ve been trying. I’ve seen you try for years. But I feel like it’s my duty to reiterate my concern now that prince Benjamin has reached the age of responsibility.”

“Has he, though?” the queen asked. A sarcastic smile was dancing around her lips when she turned her eyes back to the window.

“He’s twenty-one,” the man said, as if she needed to be reminded of it. “And I know we’ve been holding onto hope that time would make him more… centered. Stable. Fit to rule. But I’m afraid the turmoil within him only grows with each day that goes by.”

“Is that so?” Leia murmured, her expression stoic as she contemplated the silhouette of old Naboo, blurred by the heavy clouds that surrounded the palace.

“Your Majesty, I –”

“I know my son, Governor. I’m…” She swallowed thickly, raising her chin as she looked up at the man. “I’m aware of his… situation, and I know the years have only made it worse. But we’ve tried everything.”

“That’s what I wanted to discuss with you, M’Lady. Maybe… maybe we haven’t.”

“I ruled out that possibility ten years ago, Palpatine,” the queen said, her voice cold and sharp around the edges. “I said no when he was eleven, and I’ll say no until the day I die. I'll use my last breath to say it, if I have to _._ _My son stays with me_.”

“Sending him to Luke is not what I had in mind, Your Majesty. Trust me, I’ve always agreed it would lead to disaster. No, it’s… something else.”

“Well?” Leia sighed, a skeptical frown on her lips. “You said you’d be brief, Governor.”

“For a while now,” the man began, bringing his hands to his sides. “For a while now, I’ve been contemplating the possibility of there being… another.”

“Another?” Leia’s confused expression melted into a sarcastic smile as the word sank in, and she let her body relax into the armchair with a light chuckle. “Has old age warmed you up to old wives’ tales, Palpatine?”

“Forgive me, M’Lady, but the possibility of a Dyad in the Force is vastly documented in the old texts, regardless of folklore or popular belief. You’re aware of that. You’re also aware of the fact that Prince Benjamin’s affinity with the Force is… unprecedented. Unseen in recorded history. Unseen even with your father.”

“The Force is strong in my family,” Leia said sternly, her lips pressed into a thin, straight line. “Look where it got us. Look where it got us all.”

“But it isn’t just about strength, my queen… It’s about the way he interacts with the Force – how easily, how naturally it comes to him. How naturally it always has. Almost as if…” There was a spark in Palpatine’s pale blue eyes as he chose his next words. “Almost as if he were a conduit.”

“Please, make your point, Governor.”

“My point is: the prince’s Force ability, combined with our inability to help him find balance within himself, tells me that his balance may be… elsewhere. In another conduit – unbalanced like him, struggling like him, _powerful_ like him. _Needing_ him in order to find their own balance.”

“And how would your theory explain those years?” Leia asked, the calmness of her façade crumbling around her pursed lips. “He was… he was _happy_. He was doing well. He was _balanced_. And then we lost Han, and he just…”

She brought her hand up to her lips when they quivered, leaning back on the armchair with a deep sigh.

“I know. I know how his father’s death split him to the bone, I was there to watch him spiral, too. But that only confirms my theory, my queen. That he’s unstable – that any progress we make is highly volatile. And that it may not be his fault.”

“Even if they exist,” the queen said, leaning forward. “Even if there's… _another one_ out there, they could be anyone. They could anywhere.”

“So we bring them to us,” Palpatine murmured, taking a step closer. “We send out a message inviting all Royal Houses to send us their Wielders. We gather them here. And we watch.”

A long stretch of silence followed his words, disrupted only by the pitter-patter of raindrops picking up speed against cold glass. The queen leaned back again, raising her hand to her mouth slowly. 

“I have seen it happen before, Your Majesty. This growing darkness nothing seems to be able to stop. It didn’t scare me enough then. Not enough for me to take action – not enough for me to confront your father before it was too late.” The man swallowed thickly, his blue eyes brimming with tears, but his face exuding an unwavering sense of resolution. “To the day I die, that will always be my biggest regret. And I’m ready to do _anything_ in my power to keep it from happening again. For Naboo. And for Ben.”

Leia’s eyes kept staring out the window for another long moment. Outside, a ray of sunshine made its way through the milky morning, painting a golden streak of light that stretched lazily towards the shadow of Old Naboo.

“Organize the gathering. Send out the call,” she finally said, without looking at the man. “At least it should bring some life back into the palace.”

***

Rey squinted at the sky, scrunching up her nose as a small smile settled on her lips. Everything looked better with the sun out like this. People looked happier as they shopped and haggled; sellers’ voices sounded brighter as they traveled across the bustling streets; necklaces, boiling kettles, silky scarves and buckets full of cardamom looked more colorful lining each side of marketplace. Even the sweet smells diluted in the air around her felt more intense, as if the sunlight did to incense and fresh fruit what the rain did to wet soil.

She dodged the strollers expertly as she made her way through the bazaar, more than used to going by unnoticed. Out of pure habit, she kept her hand over the leather strap across her chest to keep her staff in place as her eyes looked for her destination.

“Ms. Jira,” Rey called as she approached the wooden stall where fresh pastries and golden loaves of bread lured eager glances with their sweet smell. Her freckled nose smoothed over as soon as she stepped under the purple awning that covered the stall, shielding her face from the sun.

“Rey!” the woman said, big earrings jiggling as she turned around. “How are you, honey?”

“Good, good!” she answered, opening the bag on her shoulder and sticking her hand inside. “You?”

“Better now the rain’s gone.”

“Tell me about it. Here, took me a while but I figured it out.” In Rey’s outstretched hand, a delicate wooden clock ticked rhythmically, its sound nearly drowned out by the shouting on the fish stall right next to them.

“Oh, honey!” the woman murmured, clutching her chest before she reached out for the clock. “You did it! Thank you _so much_ , I thought it was broken for good.”

“It’s alright,” Rey said with a shrug and a smile. “It was a nice to have something to do. These rainy weeks have been pretty slow.” 

“Here,” the woman said, pushing a small velvet pouch into Rey’s hand. When the girl opened her mouth to protest, Ms. Jira shushed her, closing her fist around the bag. “It’s only fair. And before I forget…”

The woman leaned down and disappeared behind the stall for a second, emerging with a small bundle wrapped in brown paper.

“A cinnamon roll. To celebrate. Happy belated birthday, honey,” she said with a warm smile and a wink. “Big number, twenty-one.”

“Thank you,” Rey said sheepishly, unable to resist the temptation of a warm, freshly baked cinnamon roll. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” the woman replied, her tone leaving no room for argument. “And you deserve it. Say hi to Maz for me, will you?”

With a nod and a smile, Rey moved to turn around, and that's when two small figures caught her eye.

The kids couldn’t have been over seven – a boy and a girl, thin and fragile-looking like all the orphans that hung around the marketplace. They were sitting on the floor, huddled together like chicks, playing some kind of game using small pebbles. Rey caught the girl’s eyes just as they were shooting a longing glance at the pastries. The child looked away quickly, turning her attention back to the game.

With a quick glance to make sure Ms. Jira was occupied with another client, Rey took a few careful steps towards the kids, waving kindly.

“Hey,” she said. “Are you hungry?”

The children looked up at her with wide eyes but didn’t answer, so Rey kneeled in front of them, handing them the small bundle in her hands.

“You stay safe, okay?” she whispered as they took the cinnamon roll. Standing back up, she smiled and nodded, taking two steps back towards the street. She was still looking at the kids when she turned around, and her eyes lingered for a moment before her head finally followed her body

“Make way,” someone yelled, not in time for Rey to avoid walking face-first into a huge solid mass.

Stumbling backwards, she looked up, gaping at the magnificent black horse that stood before her, big enough to shield her entire body from the sun. On top of it, a huge man clad in shiny dark leather looked around the market, his left hand resting on the most beautiful sword hilt Rey had ever seen.

“Make way for count Vicrul!” another voice yelled, and Rey realized there was another horseman on the other side of the street, pushing people to the sidewalks in a surly effort to clear the way.

Taking a few steps to the side, she looked to her right. To her surprise, more horsemen were lining the street for several blocks, yelling and pushing people out of the way. Some of them carried swords, others held shiny black banners bearing a symbol she’d never seen, stitched in thick golden threads.

“Excuse me,” Rey said, approaching two whispering old ladies. “What’s going on?”

“Haven’t you heard, child?” the one closest to her asked, her beady eyes shining with the prospect of sharing new gossip. “It’s another Wielder.”

“A Wielder?

“A Wielder,” the lady insisted, leaning closer to make herself heard over the shouting. “The queen has summoned Wielders from all Royal Houses to the palace. A fest of some kind, is what I’ve heard. A display of wielding abilities. Part of the festivities for the prince’s birthday. They’ve been coming all week.” 

“I've heard the palace is offering them a generous prize,” the other lady added, her eyes shining just as brightly. “Gold. And land. The winner’s to be chosen by the Dark Prince himself.”

“Don’t call him that,” Rey said instinctively, Maz’s voice almost audible inside her head. “He has a name. It’s Prince Benjamin.”

“Well, he takes after his grandfather, is what I hear,” the old woman said, fixing the basket looped around her forearm. “The same power, and a temper to match. But that’s the issue with all of them, if you ask me,” she added, lowering her voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “Wielders. A lil’ mixed up, all of them. Wouldn’t you say so?”

Rey didn’t answer, but instead just swallowed around the lump in her throat as her eyes travelled back to the street. For some reason, her heart raced when she wondered if all these horsemen were there to compete. 

The answer didn’t take long. She knew it as soon as she saw him – the man riding a stallion so black it shone almost blue under the sunlight; clad in amour expensive enough to buy half the land in the kingdom. Adorned with gold and silver, his chestplate was studded with blood red rubies, and a dark metal helmet covered his head, shielding his face from peering eyes.

“Make way,” his men kept shouting as the Wielder glided down the street, chin high and shoulders squared – the posture of a man who carried noble blood in his veins.

And then it all happened very fast.

Rey didn’t see the kids. She just felt them run past her, coming out of the alleyway; heard their tiny giggles ringing in the air, and then saw their small bodies hit the ground in the middle of the street, lifting small clouds of dirt as they fell.

The mighty black stallion’s neigh resounded in the morning air as it stood on its hind legs, towering over the children and shrouding them in a dark shadow. Against the pale blue sky, the black whip its rider was brandishing looked like a hissing serpent ready to pounce.

The whip cut through the air, whooshing on its way down, and slapped loudly against Rey’s hand when she grabbed it midair.

She didn’t know how she’d ended up in the middle of the street, but she must have launched herself there, because she was now standing between the horseman and the children, his whip tightly wrapped around her hand and wrist. She stood there, panting, nostrils flared out and jaw locked, for what felt like an eternity. And then she _pulled_ – a swift, violent motion that ripped the dark whip from the Wielder’s hand, making him lose balance on the gold-adorned saddle of his horse.

“If I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners.”

She could barely recognize her own voice when she said it. It was low and menacing, seething with rage. Her hands were shaking when she threw the whip to the side, and she could hear it smack against the pavement in the deep silence that had fallen over the bazaar.

“Out of my way, _street rat_.” The man’s voice was deep and raspy, and she could see a pair of mean blue eyes bore holes into her through the dark helmet.

“I’d rather be a street rat than a pig on a horse,” Rey spat, her nails digging into the palms of her hands as they curled into fists. 

Vicrul’s chest was heaving when he extended his hand towards her, shaking with rage.

“I said OUT OF THE WAY,” he screamed, and Rey felt a burst of mild pressure to her chest, not unlike a halfhearted shove.

She couldn’t help the cold snort that erupted out of her mouth, disdain curling the corners of her lips.

“Is that the best you can do, Wielder?” 

The man’s eyes widened with fury, and he raised his hand towards her again, fingers slightly curled.

Rey felt rage course through her veins when he tried to push her again, harder this time. The boiling, roaring anger fed into the noise inside her head, making it deafening; the pressure inside of her like a furious ocean crashing and beating, fighting its way out of her skin. Growling, she started to raise her hand, the image of the knight on the ground, spitting his own blood, flooding her mind like a healing balm.

“REY!” 

One second, Rey’s arm was halfway raised in the air, reaching out towards the knight, and the next thing she knew it was pinned firmly next to her body. She blinked several times, panting heavily as she struggled to make Rose’s face come into focus. When it did, her friend was staring at her, eyes shiny and wide, her jaw firmly locked.

“Rey, _no_ ,” Rose whispered, her voice shaking. “Not here.”

Rey barely had time to register her friend’s words, because a violent blow made them both fall to the ground, rolling towards the curb. When they looked up, one of the count’s escorts was standing a few feet away from them on his horse, a large club hanging from his hand.

“We said make way, _scum_ ,” he spat as Vicrul rode past him, throwing Rey a disgusted glance.

“You were born a street rat, you’ll die a street rat,” the count hissed, tugging at the reins of his horse. “And only your fleas will mourn you.”

The girl bared her teeth in response, making to get up, but Rose held her down, tugging at her arm.

“Rey!” she said, her tone firm and commanding. “ _Stop_. Let it go. It’s not worth it.”

Rey sat there, chest heaving, panting heavily as she watched the men disappear down the narrow streets, marching towards the palace. In the haze of her rage, she didn’t realize Rose had stood up until her friend was standing in front of her, her hand outstretched.

“C’mon, let’s go.”

***

"God, I wish I could have let you kill that bastard,” Rose murmured, shaking her head as she nibbled on a piece of bread. “Prancing around like he _owned_ the place.”

Rey let out a graceless snort, popping an olive into her mouth.

“Well, he obviously owns a bunch of land somewhere.”

“Did you know they were coming? All these Wielders?”

Rey shook her head in response, looking around Maz’s cantina. The old woman had disappeared behind the counter several minutes ago, right after the last customer left, leaving the girls to eat their dinner alone.

“No, they must be taking the south route. They’re here for the prince’s birthday, apparently. A tournament or something.”

“Yeah,” Rose said through a mouthful. “So I’ve heard. Bunch of gold involved.”

Rey stared out the window while she chewed, watching new stars appear in the sky as the night deepened. Slowly, her eyes strayed towards the ground – down to the silhouette of the old barn, its rusty tin roof looking almost shiny as the moon covered it in silver beams.

Despite Rey’s best efforts, the memory of his presence came like this sometimes – without warning, burning and stinging like an old wound one touches by accident, wrongfully assuming it had already healed. Whenever it happened – whenever his absence throbbed inside her like this, like a missing limb one could still feel at night – that’s when she realized the wound he’d left behind was still fresh in her chest.

If she was being honest with herself, part of her still believed that if she stared long enough she’d find him there, standing by the barn like he had all those years ago under the Blood Moon. It was a small part of her – a sliver of hope that kept hiding somewhere deep in her chest, evading her every effort to suffocate it. The one that had survived all the days of waiting, and then the months, and then the years, and then, finally, the excruciating, shattering realization that he’d only ever existed inside her head.

“Rey?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been thinking about something.”

“That sounds dangerous.”

“I’m serious.”

Rose’s face did, indeed, look serious when Rey threw her a skeptical glance, so she set her fork down, wiping her mouth.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” her friend said, shaking her head. “I was just thinking… I could see how hard it was for you today. Holding back like that.” 

Rey just nodded, trying to keep the count’s eyes out of her thoughts. Remembering it, as she’d learned throughout the day, felt a lot like living it all over again.

“And the thing is,” Rose continued, her eyes darting down towards her hands before they went looking for Rey’s again. “Why _should_ you have to hold back? That guy can’t hold a candle to you, Rey. He couldn’t even push you out of the way – I’ve seen you do more damage in pillow fights.”

“ _That_ was an accident.”

“ _Not_ the point. The point is…” The girl hesitated for a second, wetting her lips. “The point is, you should be allowed to compete.”

“You… what?” Rey said, an incredulous smile on her lips. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not.”

The look on her friend’s eyes made the smile slowly fade from Rey’s face, leaving only a stunned frown behind.

“Rose, it’s… it’s for _blue bloods_.”

“But _why_ is it for blue bloods?” her friend insisted. “You have it too, don’t you? The gift – you have it, Rey. And I’d bet my left arm you’re better at it than any of them.”

“That’s not true.”

“But you should be allowed to find out, shouldn’t you?”

“Rose,” Rey whispered, her brows shooting up in disbelief. “You know I can’t. _You_ were the one who stopped me today because you _know_ I can’t.”

“Not there,” Rose agreed. “Not like that, but… in a contest, you know? Planned, with… with rules and stuff. An event that’s literally meant for that.”

“So what, I just barge into Theed and tell them I want to compete? Do you hear how crazy that sounds?”

“The queen is good,” Rose said with a supplicant edge to her voice. “She’s fair. She would let you, if she could only _see_ what you can do.”

“And how am I supposed to reach the _queen_ , Rose?”

“I don’t know,” her friend answered, splaying both hands on the table. “We’d find a way. I just think that… Rey,” she murmured, reaching for Rey’s hand. “Me? This is my life. This is my destiny. But you…” Her eyes darted down to their clasped hands, sparkling with something that looked a lot like pride. “You’re meant for more than this. You _deserve_ more than this. And you could have it – You could have it _all_. Don’t you see this is your chance?”

Rey shook her head, tears stinging her eyes as she swallowed.

“That's... that's not true. We have a deal, remember? Us against the world.”

“But maybe the world doesn’t _have_ to be against you, babe.”

“Just forget about it, okay? You know we’re not even supposed to talk about it in public. If Maz hears us, she’ll...”

“I hear you, child,” Maz’s voice said right next to them, making both girls jump. “I hear you.”

“Maz, we…” Rey stammered, exchanging a panicked look with Rose. “Rose didn’t mean it. She was just messing with…”

“I think,” the old woman said, sitting down by their side. She took Rey’s hand between hers, shooting Rose a kind smile. “I think Rose did mean it. And I think she’s right.”

“What?” Rey murmured, looking up to find Rose gaping at the tiny woman. “Maz, you’re… you’re the one who told me no one could know.”

“No, Rey,” the woman said, her eyes twinkling behind her glasses. “I told you some people shouldn’t know. But maybe some people should. And maybe it’s time that they do.”

“Can we help her do it?” Rose asked excitedly, leaning forward on her chair. “Talk to the queen?”

“No,” Maz murmured, shaking her head. “She’d have to make it into the palace, and they’d never let her past the gates.”

“Hm,” Rose hummed, her face falling as her eyes shot down towards the table.

“But,” Maz added, “Maybe she doesn’t need the queen’s permission.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, a deep line forming between her brows.

“Go home, be back a couple hours before sunrise. Both of you. I may have just what you need.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think my basic ass would write a fairytale AU without a makeover montage in it, did you? *evil laughter*  
> It's such a shame our lovebirds haven't seen each other since they hit puberty... *evil laughter intensifies*
> 
> Comments always make my day, so please let me know what you think?? Love your faces <3


	6. Fool's gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer: Hux is basically Domhnall in this fic because Dom's a precious little bean and he didn't deserve what TRoS did to his character.
> 
> Okay, let's go!

“Maz, this is –”

“Insane,” the woman said, nodding as she dipped her finger into the small pot in her hand. “Yes, child, you made it clear around the thirtieth time you said it. Now will you sit still for a second?” Raising her fingers to Rey’s face, the old woman tapped the girl’s cheeks gently, staining them with whatever paste she’d concocted inside the small clay mortar.

Rey shifted uncomfortably on the wooden stool, her wide eyes searching for Rose. She found her friend staring at her with a delighted glimmer in her dark eyes, her thumb tracing the curve of a proud smile.

“You look so _beautiful_.”

“ _Rose!_ Has everyone lost their minds? _No one’s_ gonna buy this!” Rey said, her eyes darting back and forth between Rose and Maz. “ _No one’s_ going to believe I’m a –”

“Princess?” Maz completed with a smug smile, tapping her concoction to Rey’s lips one last time. It tasted like raspberries. “Would you like to see it for yourself?”

Rey sighed heavily when she looked back at Rose, who was now bouncing up and down excitedly, chewing on her nail. She made a point of rolling her eyes as she got up from the stool, and the floor creaked under her feet as she took a step forward, standing in front of the old mirror next to Maz’s bed.

She blinked several times, and her reflection in the mirror blinked back at her, a confused rift forming between her eyebrows.

Rey knew her skin was tanned, courtesy of the scorching Naboo summers, but now it looked positively golden against the stark whiteness of her clothes. A silky, ruched bandeau top covered her small breasts, making them look like they _existed_ , which was brand new information for her. The tight sleeves attached to it were wrapped around her upper arms, leaving her chest and shoulders exposed, a light splatter of freckles stretching across her skin like bronze stars.

The top was narrow enough to leave her midriff partially exposed, showing a subtle peek of tight, defined muscle. A few inches below, her skin disappeared again under wide, gauzy palazzo pants that sat high on her waist, flowing around her legs like they’d been sewn out of thin morning mist.

“Maz, what…” Rey murmured, gaping at the mirror. Taking a step forward, she tilted her head to the side, making the top of her cheekbone glow under the warm light of the lantern on the wall. A subtle, mauvish blush spread across her cheeks and her freckled nose, and the same shade of pink tinted her lips, which were now covered in a light sheen that made them look soft and plump. Around the slim face staring back at her, Rey saw loose tendrils of hair dance in carefully orchestrated disarray, falling casually from the three buns on her head – not the sloppy buns meant to get her hair off her face while she worked, but sleek, round, tight buns, seamlessly sitting on top of each other across the back of her head. 

“Looks like a princess to you?”

When Rey tore her wide eyes away from the mirror, Maz was staring at her with a triumphant smile, arms crossed over her chest.

“Where did you learn this?” Rey asked in an incredulous whisper. The woman waved her hands dismissively, shaking her head as she walked towards the heavy chest at the foot of her bed

“A great question,” she said, unlocking the leather chest with a loud _click_. Its lid creaked as the old woman opened it, and she leaned over, reaching for something at the bottom of the trunk. “For another time. Now,” she continued, standing back up as she threw what appeared to be a golden velvet dress on the bed and pointed at Rose. “You put that on. Quick. We still have to fix your hair.”

“Me?” Rose asked, throwing Rey a confused glance. “Why?” 

Maz sighed heavily, diving into the chest again.

“Haven’t you seen how many men count Vicrul's brought with him? And he’s a _count,_ for crying out loud. Do you think it would go unnoticed if a princess showed up without at least _one_ lady-in-waiting?”

“God,” Rey exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose as Rose let out an excited squeal.

“I’m on it, I’m on it,” her friend chanted excitedly, already halfway through tugging her tunic over her head.

“And you,” Maz said, using her finger to tell Rey to come closer. “Come here. I almost forgot something.”

Draped over the old woman’s arms, a long white cape lay gracefully, its silky fabric radiating an ethereal glow under the silvery moonlight.

“Where did you even get this stuff?” Rey asked, frowning. Maz just shook her head again, gesturing for her to sit down.

“Another time, child. Another time.” Her wrinkly fingers brushed Rey’s neck as she draped the cape over the girl’s back. With expert hands, Maz clasped the delicate golden buckle that sat right between Rey’s collarbones, securing the fabric in place. Looking down, the old woman adjusted the golden detailing that sat on the girl’s shoulders – two metal shoulder pads shaped like shiny clusters of leaves and flowers. Attached to the silky white fabric, they seemed to ensure the plunging back of the cape would sit properly down Rey’s spine, exposing her shoulder blades .

“There,” the old woman said, smiling fondly. “Now you’re a princess.”

***

The stairs creaked under the three women’s careful steps as they made their way back down to the cantina, struggling to see in the half-light that announced the last moments of the night.

“Everything you’ll need is here,” Maz said, setting a smaller leather trunk down. The old wooden table wobbled under its weight. “Now, listen very carefully: it’s _very_ important that you look and act as confident as possible. Courtiers can see right through fear. They practically feed on it.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Rey murmured, closing her eyes as she plopped down on one of the chairs.

“Well, at least try not to get it on the gown,” Rose said, fixing the golden ornaments on Rey’s shoulders.

“Spoken like a true lady-in-waiting,” Maz said approvingly, smiling up at Rose, who beamed with pride in her long velvet gown. It looked like a long cloak, its deep shade of golden complimenting her skin perfectly; her face partially shadowed by the hood that sat on her head.

“We should get going, then. If we don’t want to be seen in the market,” Rose said, adjusting the thick purple band on her waist as she ran her fingers over the satiny material. “It’s a long walk to Theed.”

“And who said anything about walking?” Maz said cryptically, smiling as the girls exchanged confused looks. “C’mon, follow me.”

Still frowning, the girls followed the woman to the backdoor, shivering when a whiff of cool air blew into the cantina. It was even colder outside, the night balanced on the edge of a blade, threatening to topple over and fall into daylight at any second. And there, illuminated by the last breath of moonlight, stood two magnificent horses, their long shadows stretching elegantly across the blue tinged grass.

“Artoo? Threepio?” Rose asked, taking two steps forward. “What happened to them?”

Frozen in place, all Rey could bring herself to do was gape at the horses; at the ethereal sheen of their hair; at the way their manes fell elegantly in soft waves over their necks, adorned with tiny golden bells that sparkled in the dark with every slight movement of their heads.

“Those two? They just needed a good brushing through,” Maz said, shaking her head. “Rey, you take Threepio. Rose, come help me strap the chest to Artoo’s saddle – the clothes are _your_ responsibility.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Rose said, half laughing, half gaping as she turned around to follow Maz back inside.

Still in awe, Rey approached the horses in careful steps, raising her hand hesitantly towards Threepio’s neck.

“Threepio, you look… _golden_ ,” she murmured, stroking his soft, light caramel hair with a stunned smile. “And you, Artoo… you look _gorgeous_.”

The other horse let out a low neigh in response, his black markings shining almost blue against his silvery white body.

“They look like they have more royal blood than us,” Rose laughed, setting the heavy trunk down on the grass.

“I mean, they may have, for all we know,” Rey shrugged, throwing the horses a half-smile. “Here, let me help you with that.”

The three women worked in silence for a while, adjusting saddles and securing the luggage. The bells on the horses’ manes chimed gently in the night as they moved.

“That’s it,” Maz finally said, fixing the golden ornament on Threepio’s forehead. “It’s time.”

Rose didn’t have to hear it twice. Holding onto the shiny leather saddle on Artoo’s back, she swung her right leg over the horse, shimmying once she was seated, as if testing for stability.

“It’s comfy!” she said, throwing Rey a smile. “C’mon, give it a go!”

Drawing in a deep breath, Rey tried to approach the golden horse, but for some reason her legs refused to move. She just stood still instead, pursing her lips as she watched Threepio neigh.

“Rey? You okay?”

“Nope,” she rasped, swallowing thickly. “Not one bit.”

“Rey. Look at me,” she heard Maz’s voice say behind her. When she turned around, the woman had her hands outstretched, and Rey took them, leaning down until she was staring into Maz’s eyes.

“The belonging you seek,” the tiny woman said, brushing a tendril of hair away from Rey’s face, “Is not behind you. It is ahead. Do you understand?”

Rey’s eyes stung as she shook her head, trying to swallow around the hot lump in her throat. Maz smiled kindly, wiping the corner of the girl’s eye with her thumb.

“When I first met you, you were a brave, brave little girl. And I was lucky enough to watch you grow into a brave, brave young woman.” The woman lowered her voice, leaning even closer, her thick glasses reflecting the stars. “Now I need to ask you to be brave one last time. Just this once. Can you do that? Can you trust me?”

Swallowing, Rey finally nodded, squeezing Maz’s hand.

“Brave girl,” she smiled, caressing Rey's cheek. “Strong girl. Now go. It is time.”

***

It was weird, seeing the world from above. Rey knew these streets like the back of her hand – she’d memorized each corner, each window, each cobblestone, each crack on the walls, each alleyway and their treasures. She _knew_ them, and still they seemed so different when she looked at them now, perched on a golden horse, her body swaying from side to side with each rocky stride of the animal’s long legs.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Rose asked, her voice low, almost inaudible over the echoing sound of hooves on cobblestones. “Seeing it this empty. This quiet.”

Rey looked around the colorful bazaar and its closed doors – so familiar, so different – and nodded.

“Yeah. Like it’s a different dimension.”

“Reminds me of the day the king died.”

The words seeped right into Rey’s chest, making the dull ache throb like the ghost of a lost limb. She pressed her lips together, trying to keep amber eyes and dimpled crooked smiles away from her thoughts.

“Let’s hope this day goes a little better.”

On horseback, Theed didn’t seem so far away, or maybe the distance had simply seemed much longer back when crossing the gates was just a childhood fantasy. Now, the gates of the citadel stood a few short miles away from the doors of the market, at the other end of a road flanked by old elm trees. 

The world around Rey felt like a weird, colorful dream as the horses marched down the road. In this weird haze, it was hard to tell how much time had gone by. All she knew was that swirls of pink were starting to break through the now purplish sky when the horses finally came to a halt.

The jade green gates of the capital seemed endless when Rey looked up, gulping as she took in each detail of the intricate iron work.

“Now what?” she heard Rose whisper next to her. As if on cue, a voice called from the other side, barely audible through the thick iron barrier.

“Who goes there?”

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Kira of Jakku,” Rose announced, the firmness in her voice making Rey look over in disbelief.

No one answered for a while, and Rose looked back at Rey, shrugging.

“Should we say something else?” she mouthed.

“How am I supposed to know?” Rey whispered exasperatedly. “Maybe we should just –”

She was about to point back to Old Naboo when the gates started to creak open, revealing a young blond man clad in golden armor.

“Your Highness,” he said with a small bow, avoiding direct eye contact with Rey. “Follow me, please.” 

The girls exchanged a quick glance as the gates opened wider. When they looked ahead again, the citadel of Theed unraveled before their eyes.

The horses seemed to follow the guard of their own accord, which was convenient, considering Rey couldn’t find it in her to do anything but stare.

Faint beams of sunlight were starting to shine upon the roofs of the city, painting light green streaks onto their polished surfaces. The same light shone upon the water, too – it sparkled on fountains; on dew drops that sat on crisp green trees; on water puddles cradled by pale pink cobblestones. Flanked by closed shops, the wide Palace Plaza stretched all the way towards the grand Palace Courtyard, a wide and regal avenue unlike anything Rey had ever seen.

She felt her heart skip a beat every time her eyes strayed to the sides, taking in the magnificent buildings that passed them by as their horses moved forward. It wasn't long before they finally reached the massive round waterway that encircled the main square, sparkling under the dim morning light. Rey couldn't tear her eyes away from it when the young guard guided them through a walkway that hovered above the pale blue water, leading straight to the Royal Palace of Theed.

As they made their way through the low, wide bridge, Rey looked up, and the palace windows stared back at her, glistening like stars in the first hues of dawn. High towers reached lazily towards the light pink sky, as if stretching after a long night’s sleep in preparation for a brand new day.

“It’s stunning,” Rey heard Rose whisper next to her. She nodded, entranced by the first sounds the citadel made as it started to wake up all around them.

The young man leading them turned around when they reached the forecourt of the palace, flanked by a series of massive white statues tinged pink by the yawning sky.

“Welcome to Theed, Your Highness,” he said, head slightly lowered in respect. “I’ll inform Her Majesty of your arrival.”

“Hum,” Rey started, but Rose spoke first, her voice loud and proud.

“I don’t know if princess Kira’s message has reached the queen in time, it was a last minute decision. She comes to take part in the Wielders’ gathering.”

The boy’s pale blue eyes widened in surprise for a split second, and then he lowered his head again, nodding solemnly.

“Very well. I’ll have the palace informed of your presence. If you’ll wait here for a second.”

“Of course,” Rey agreed, and both girls hopped down to the floor, exchanging another anxious look as their turned to the horses.

“You did great,” Rey whispered to Threepio as the guard strode towards the palace doors. 

“Do you think they’re onto us?” Rose murmured, patting Artoo.

“I don’t know, you sounded pretty convincing to me.”

Her friend shrugged and smiled, squinting towards the towers of the palace.

“Whoa. Just… wow.”

“I know.”

They couldn’t have been waiting for over five minutes when the young guard came rushing back, his armor clanking as he walked. For some reason, the sound made Rey’s heart pound painfully against her ribcage.

“The Governor will see you now, Your Highness,” he announced as he approached. Rey let out a long exhale, wetting her lips.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling as the guard took the horses’ reins.

“May I take them to the stables?”

“Please,” she answered, and the young man nodded and bowed again, starting to make his way back to the courtyard.

“Is this kinda… working?” Rose whispered as soon as he was out of sight. .

“We’ll find out soon enough.”

Rey could feel her cape dragging behind her as they walked towards the palace doors, and she tried to take long, deep breaths, counting her steps to calm her heart.

“I’m here,” she heard her friend whisper, and she smiled with a short nod.

The forecourt led into an open stone atrium, and the girls marched through it towards the palace’s monumental open entrance. The feigned confidence of Rey's stride, however, didn't last long. The moment they walked through the stone threshold, both girls came to a stunned halt, sucking in twin sharp breaths. 

Before their eyes, a massive crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, sparkling with the light that streamed in through stained glass windows and making it bounce around the room in hues of orange. Flanking the entrance hall, two magnificent marble staircases stretched up towards the first floor, their golden railings gleaming with the lights reflected by the chandelier. The floors were made of marble, too – colorful marble streaked with black and red and golden, so smooth and immaculately clean it reflected the skylights on the ceiling like a mirror.

“Princess… _Kira_ , is that it?”

Rey’s head snapped towards the voice in time to see a tall man entering the hall through a wooden side door, a polite smile on his thin lips.

He was dressed in black and deep purple, his white hair elegantly brushed back and away from his wrinkled face. As his pale blue eyes locked with Rey’s, something cold coiled uncomfortably in her stomach.

“Yes,” she rasped, clearing her throat. “And this is Lady Loan Tico.”

“Milady,” the man said with a bow and another smile. “What a pleasant surprise. We were under the impression that Jakku had no Wielders in court at the moment. In fact,” he proceeded, his voice faultlessly courteous. “We were under the impression that the queen and king of Jakku had… no heirs.”

Rey felt her shoulders stiffen under his stare, her heart beating in her throat.

“Well,” she said, not quite knowing where the firmness in her voice was coming from. “My parents only had a daughter, which, as you may know, is the equivalent of having no heirs in Jakku. Not a feat to be celebrated.” 

“Of course,” the man murmured with a dismayed look in his cold blue eyes, lips pursed disapprovingly. “Unfortunately, a tradition that persists in way too many kingdoms. And I suppose a female Wielder would also be kept under wraps in your court?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Rey agreed, nodding solemnly. “But I eventually convinced my father that if I could be of any service to Naboo and House Organa, then we should honor the old friendship and alliance between our kingdoms.”

“A most wise and most honorable decision, Your Highness,” the man said, lowering his head in a respectful curtsy. “Our queen will be very happy to hear it.”

“To hear what, Governor?”

At the top of one of the marble staircases, a woman looked down at them, her graying hair styled into an intricate braided bun adorner with a thin golden crown. Queen Leia's regal emerald dress rustled against the marble steps as she made her way down the stairs slowly, hand on the golden railing, eyes fixed on Rey.

“That Jakku has sent a Wielder to participate in the festivities of the prince’s birthday, Your Majesty,” Palpatine said. The queen stared at him with an unreadable expression in her chestnut eyes, her lips pressed into a thin line. “This is princess Kira – the king’s only daughter. You may deduce why we’ve never heard of her. And her companion, Lady Loan, of course.”

Leia stared at Rey for a long moment, a slight crease between her eyebrows. After what felt like an eternity, her eyes strayed downwards, sparkling as they took in Rey’s clothes. It didn’t take more than a brief moment for the queen’s forehead to smooth over, and for the corners of her lips to curl into a warm smile.

“ _Of course_ ,” she murmured, her voice soft and kind. “Of course. It’s a pleasure to meet you, princess Kira.”

“Your Majesty,” Rey said solemnly, sinking into a low curtsy.

“No need for that,” Leia said with another kind smile. “Welcome to Naboo, princess. I hope you enjoy your stay. Has Governor Palpatine seen to your accommodations?”

“Not yet, my queen,” Palpatine said.

“Very well, then. Lord Hux!” the queen called, looking over her shoulder.

Rey hadn’t seen the red haired man who’d followed the queen down the stairs. In her defense, it seemed like he hadn’t seen her either, his blue eyes fixed on Rose.

“M’Lady.”

“Would you show the ladies to the East Wing? I believe none of our guests have been accommodated in the Naberrie apartment.”

“Of course,” the man said. His Adam’s apple bobbed when he finally turned his eyes to Rey. “If you’ll follow me, Your Highness.”

With another curtsy, the girls followed the man up the stairs, their steps echoing off the marble floors.

They didn’t dare say a word as he guided them through long corridors lined with huge windows, across grand halls made of colorful marble, and eventually up a magnificent staircase that led into a big atrium. They didn’t even dare exchange looks when he approached a huge wooden double door, resting his hand on its golden doorknob.

“The Naberrie apartment, miladies,” he announced, opening the door. “I’ll see that your luggage is delivered here. If you need anything I–” His voice cracked slightly as his eyes darted towards Rose, and he cleared his throat, puffing out his chest. “I’ll be glad to assist you.”

“That’s very kind, milord. Thank you,” Rey smiled, and the man nodded curtly before he walked away in quick steps.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind Rey’s back, Rose turned around to face her, but it wasn’t until Hux’s footsteps had faded into the distance that both girls squealed.

 _"Rey!_ ”

“ _I know!"_ Rey panted, holding her ribcage as she pressed her back to the door.

“Oh my God Rey, we _did it_!”

“I know, Rose, keep it down!” she whispered, smiling as she looked over her shoulder. “That guy may still be around.”

“Cute redhead? Nah,” Rose said with an exaggerated frown. “He looked like he just wanted to get the hell out there as fast as possible.”

“Yeah, right. He looked like he’d be _glad_ to _assist_ you.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh my God Rose, _the queen!_ ”

“I know!!” her friend squealed, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “God, I thought we were so _dead_ when the creepy prune started talking. You _killed_ it with the improv, by the way.”

“Where did _that_ come from?” Rey laughed, finally stepping away from the door.

“No idea. But you should give diplomacy a shot if this goes to hell.”

“We get a lifetime in prison if this goes to hell,” Rey said. A smile was still lingering around her lips when she raised her eyes to look around the room.

The first thing she saw was the bed. It sat proudly against the wall opposite to the door, all dark wood adorned with golden filigree, covered in silky white sheets and more pillows than anyone would need in their lifetime.

Rey’s eyes kept widening as they resumed their journey through the furniture. Couches, ottomans, chairs, tables, the huge vanity on the wall opposite to the bed: all the furniture seemed to match, all mahogany and gold, shining almost red under the early morning light.

“Holy…” she heard Rose mutter, and she nodded.

“I know.”

“Look at that _bed!_ ”

“ _I know!_ ”

“Oh my God!” Rose squealed as she lunged forward, throwing herself on the silk sheets. “It’s so _soft!_ ”

“This is insane,”

Rose kept laughing as she bounced on the bed, and Rey smiled at her, slowly making her way to the other side of the room. Long, gauzy curtains covered the east wall, swaying gently with the light breeze and filtering the early morning sunlight. When Rey peeled them back, the sunbeams streamed in freely, painting luminous stripes onto the hardwood floor.

Her lips parted in awe as she walked outside, stepping onto the balcony. Predictably, it was also huge, its roof supported by tall pillars covered in rich green foliage. Rey’s eyes barely registered its architecture, though, fixed as they were on the view.

She kept moving forward until she was leaning over the stone balustrade, and her eyes fluttered shut as a gentle breeze coming from the water kissed her skin. Before her, a crystal blue lake stretched proudly towards bright green mountains, behind which the orange sun was rising. She kept her eyes closed, feeling its heat on her skin. All around her, the wind whispered on the leaves of century-old trees in a language she couldn’t understand, but that still soothed her heart.

“Now, that’s a view,” she heard Rose say behind her.

Rey's smile widened as she opened her eyes. 

“Straight out of a dream.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Rey's in the palace dressed in her pretty princess dress!!! I wonder who she could possibly run into by pure chance... *Pretends to be shocked*
> 
> See you on Tuesday, fam! Love your faces <3


	7. Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, fam! Yes, a Sunday update! Let me explain. This story is already complete, and it *is* a pretty angsty slow burn, so the more I think about it the less sense it makes to post twice a week. As you know, the world is also going through some pretty dark times right now, and I just thought... You know? If this story could bring just a tiny bit of happiness to somene's day, why not? So I decided to post every day this week, which means the fic will be complete by next Sunday. 
> 
> If you're quarantined, or in lockdown, or even just anxious and scared, know that my heart's with you. I know this isn't much at all, but I hope it helps somehow. <3

“I’m _never_ leaving this bed.”

Rose’s voice was muffled by the embroidered cushion her face was lying on, the outline of her body carved in bas-relief in the silky sheets.

“Yes, you are. _By order of the princess._ ”

An inelegant snort shook Rose’s body, and she finally sat up, throwing the cushion in Rey’s direction.

“ _That_ is insubordination,” Rey laughed, grabbing the pillow just before it hit her face. She squealed when another attack followed, jumping up from the couch to dodge it.

“Rose, if we break anything I swear to _God_ -”

“ _The princess shall pay_ ,” Rose announced pompously before she plopped back down on the bed.

Shaking with laughter, Rey held her ribs as she sat back down on the couch. Lying on her back, Rose just smiled and closed her eyes.

“This is _surreal_.”

Several hours must have gone by since they’d arrived, but they wouldn’t have been able to tell just how many. It was definitely past lunchtime – the pretty brunette that had knocked on their door with a tray full of wonders had already come back to collect empty bowls and scraped-clean plates, and their stomachs were already feeling like maybe they could fit some more.

Behind the lazy undulation of the translucent curtains, the sun was already making its way down towards the west, which indicated that it might, indeed, be time for an afternoon snack.

“Aren’t there some dates left?” Rey asked, her eyes fixed on the movement of the curtains, the cushioned armrest of the couch soft and inviting against the back of her head.

“I ate them.”

“I hate you.”

“You were sleeping.”

“I wasn’t!”

“Snoring, too. Very princess-y.”

It was Rey’s turn to throw a pillow towards the bed, and it hit the target at the exact same moment someone knocked on the door.

Rey scurried to her feet, fixing her cape as she stepped clumsily into her white flats. Looking over to the other side of the room, she saw Rose pat her hair down hurriedly as she made her way towards the door.

“Jessika,” Rose said politely, sinking into a curtsy. Rey tried to refrain from looking at her friend as she approached the door, doing her best to keep a straight face.

“Lady Loan,” the dark haired girl replied, mirroring Rose’s gesture. “The queen would like to know if the princess is comfortably accommodated. And if she managed to get some rest.”

“Yes,” Rey said, taking a step forward. “We’re feeling much better, thank you.”

“In that case, Her Majesty would also like to invite you for tea in her chambers, Your Highness. If you’d like it.”

“Tea in her…” Rey stammered, her eyes searching desperately for Rose’s. When her friend glanced over her shoulder, her seething gaze the visual equivalent of a kick to the shin, Rey straightened her spine, looking back at Jessica. “Yes, tea. Of course, it would be a pleasure.”

“You may follow me, then. I’ll show you the way.”

All Rey managed to do as she followed the girl was throw Rose a confused, desperate look. To her dismay, her friend answered with a shrug and an exaggerated frown.

Rey winced silently, watching Rose disappear as she closed the door behind her.

She followed the queen’s handmaiden in silence, the thundering state of her heart barely allowing her to admire the palace around her. All she knew was there were stairs – many stairs, a few long corridors and countless immense windows and breathtaking crystal chandeliers. It couldn’t have been more than a ten minute walk, but it felt like Rey had spent hours marching to the sound of her blood roaring in her ears by the time they finally reached a grandiose marble chamber.

Stopping in front of what was easily the biggest door Rey had ever seen, Jessika turned the doorknob gently, stepping inside.

“Your Majesty,” she said with a respectful bow of her head. “Princess Kira’s here.”

“Thank you, Jessika. Thank you very much. Please, let her in.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Rey stepped into a stately sitting area furnished with four huge velvet couches, a ceiling-high bookshelf and a shiny mahogany coffee table that reflected the golden chandelier above it. Right by the table, the queen was standing with a warm smile, hands clasped over her heart.

“My dear girl,” she said, taking a couple steps forward. “Thank you for coming. I was afraid you might still be too tired.”

“It’s an honor, Your Majesty,” Rey replied with a small curtsy. Her voice felt raspy, so she tried to clear her throat as discreetly as possible.

“No need for that nonsense. Not here,” the queen insisted, waving her hand. “Just call me Leia. Now, shall we?”

She said the last words gesturing towards a glass side door, and Rey nodded again, following the woman into a balcony that could easily fit Maz’s entire cantina. It looked a lot like the one in Rey’s own chambers, but it was roughly three times its size, looking out onto a different, less secluded part of the lake. This must be the West Wing, Rey thought, because the sun was slowly sinking towards the mountains in the horizon, casting an orange mantilla over their emerald green.

“Whoa.”

It fell from Rey’s lips before she could swallow it back, and she froze immediately, her eyes wide as the queen turned around to face her.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Leia said, her lips curled into a side smile. “My favorite part of the palace. Please, dear, have a seat.”

Right by the stone balustrade of the balcony, a table had been set with what Rey could only describe as a feast. The dainty white porcelain of the tea set sparkled in hues of orange under the afternoon sun. In shiny bowls and small crystal jars, a vast selection of fruit, colorful pastries, golden breads and thick, rich jams stared invitingly at her.

Rey bit the insides of her lips as she sat down, and the queen took the seat across from her, promptly moving to pour tea into their cups.

“So, Kira – may I call you Kira?”

“Of course, Your Ma…” Leia cocked a brow, and Rey corrected herself quickly. “Of course.”

“Very well, then. I assume you know why I called you here, don’t you, dear? Why I wanted to talk to you.”

It felt like Rey’s blood had frozen inside her veins. Looking down, she noticed the tea was shaking inside the cup in her hands, so she put it down, squaring her shoulders.

“I… I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Oh! I thought it would have been obvious,” the queen said casually, drizzling honey into her cup. “Most of the others arrived last week. They’ve had time to acclimate to the palace, interact with each other – even… _showcase_ their talents a little.” There was a small, almost sarcastic smile on her lips when she looked up at Rey. “You haven’t.”

“The others?”

“The other Wielders.”

“Of course,” Rey nodded, hurrying to take a big gulp of her tea. “The other Wielders.”

“So it seemed only fair, talking to you. Walking you through our plans. You arrived only a couple days before the first task, after all.”

“The first task?”

“Yes, that’s how we decided to go about it,” Leia nodded, reaching for a scone. “We’ll propose several tasks, each one of them dedicated to a specific ability. Psychometry, telekinesis, precognition – I mean, you know them better than I do.”

 _Psycho-what?_ Rey thought to herself, lathering her scone with a little too much jam. Thankfully, she managed not to say it out loud, limiting her reply to what she hoped would be a smile of acknowledgement. It probably looked more like a frown.

“You’ll each perform the task to the best of your abilities, and at the end of each one my son will choose a winner. A mere formality, of course. The competitive aspect was added for entertainment, but our main goal is obviously integration. Strengthening the bonds between our kingdoms. You know how those things work.”

“Yes, of course,” Rey choked out. The fine pastry in her mouth tasted like sand as she chewed. 

“And, of course, we also wanted to create an opportunity for you to meet each other – exchange experiences. Connect. I can only imagine how lonely it must be to have this gift in a world where it’s grown so rare.”

“It…” Rey murmured, her mouth painfully dry as her eyes strayed towards the emerald green mountains. “It can get lonely sometimes. Yes.”

“Then I hope this helps ease the loneliness,” Leia said kindly. So kindly, in fact, that Rey couldn’t help but look back at her. “In… some way. I must say that I’m… very happy you’re here, Kira. _Very_ happy. For a moment there I thought…”

The queen stopped and wet her lips, as if thinking better of whatever it was that she was going to say. When she continued, the tone of her voice was a lot lighter.

“For a moment there, I thought there would be no women competing.”

“All the other Wielders are men?”

“Six of them, yes.” Leia nodded, sipping her tea. “I’m afraid female Wielders are still frowned upon in most Royal Houses. But I think you know that.”

Rey cleared her throat again, taking another long sip of her tea.

“And I must also add that I admire you a lot, Kira.”

“Me?”

“You,” Leia confirmed with a smile. “I have a deep admiration for women who choose to… rebel against circumstances. To…” Her eyes were fixed on her tea as she searched for the words, and then they rose to Rey’s, glimmering knowingly. “To rise against hostile environments and dare to become what they’ve been told they couldn’t be.”

“I’m not sure I’m any of that.”

Rey’s voice was small as she said it, but not nearly as small as this heavy weight forming in her chest made her feel.

“Oh, but you are. Trust me. When you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people,” Leia murmured, reaching for Rey’s hand and squeezing it gently. “And yours are the eyes of a woman who won’t live unspoken.”

All Rey could offer in response was a tense smile, but it seemed to be enough for Leia. The queen patted her hand gently before she sat back on the chair and crossed her hands on her lap.

“And you’re very beautiful too, which doesn’t hurt.” Rey chuckled softly at that, her hand darting self-consciously towards her hair. The queen smiled. “You remind me of my mother when she was young. In fact, your dress reminds me of a dress she used to wear.”

The queen’s eyes were fixed on the golden detailing on Rey’s shoulders as she said that, but they darted back to her face in an instant.

“That’s very flattering. Queen Amidala was known for her political genius _and_ her wardrobe, wasn’t she?” 

Leia’s soft chuckle was warm and streaked with memories, and Rey couldn’t help smiling at it.

“She was.”

“They must mean a lot to you. Her dresses.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I don’t have them anymore.”

The shocked frown on Rey’s face must have been even more ridiculous than it felt, because the queen laughed at it, shaking her head.

“I felt like I owed it to her to protect them, you know? They were precious to her. And, as you can imagine, the palace wasn’t the safest of places during the war with Mustafar. The siege was a violent one.”

“I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“Oh, don’t be,” Leia smiled, waving her hand. “They’re safe. With a dear friend whose judgement I trust more than _anything_. And speaking of dresses,” she added, wiping her mouth elegantly on a cloth napkin embroidered with the royal insignia. “We’re throwing a ball tomorrow. As part of the festivities. It would be lovely to have you and Lady Loan join us.”

“Of course,” Rey said, a genuine smile of amusement finally settling on her lips. “Lady Loan will be _delighted_.”

They kept talking for a good while – maybe an hour, maybe even more. All Rey knew was that her heart felt light and that the sky had turned a deep shade of magenta by the time the queen looked up at it, pursing her lips disapprovingly.

“I didn’t mean to keep you this long, honey. You must be desperate for a good night’s sleep.”

“If you apologize for the time, I’ll have to apologize for eating all the nectarines again.”

The queen laughed wholeheartedly as she stood up, setting her napkin down on the table.

“I won’t, then. But I _will_ free you from the claws of this rambling old woman. May I expect you at the ball, then?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good,” the queen said, smiling as they walked back into the sitting area and towards the front door of her chambers. “Very good. I can't wait to see what you’ll be wearing.”

For some reason, Leia winked as she said that, but she also leaned in for a hug immediately after, so Rey didn’t have the time to think about it too much.

“Thank you, dear,” the queen whispered in her ear, and Rey hugged her back hesitantly.

“I didn’t do anything.”

Leia just smiled in response, staring into Rey’s eyes for a brief moment before she opened the door.

“Goodnight, then. Get some rest. You’ve earned it.”

“Thank you. Goodnight.”

And, just like that, Rey was facing the long corridor that led to the queen’s chambers, only now realizing she didn’t have more than a vague idea of how to get back to her own.

“Can’t be that hard,” she muttered under her breath, convincing herself that walking towards the east should be enough to get her back to familiar grounds.

As it turned out, things weren’t that simple. The corridors of the palace seemed to twist and turn in all different directions, and soon enough she was crossing the same atrium for the third time without the faintest idea of how she’d managed to do it.

“You gotta be kidding me,” she muttered, looking out the window. The last traces of the sun were still visible behind the mountain she was facing, which told her she was most definitely still in the West Wing. Pursing her lips, she looked around, deciding to head down a corridor she hadn’t explored before in hopes that she’d at least stop walking in circles.

Her footsteps were muffled by thick, dense rugs as she crossed the long hallway, looking around every now and then in search of any indication of where exactly she might be.

And then she heard it.

At first she thought she was imagining it – the faint whispering that seemed to flutter in the dusk, soft and erratic, as if uttered by the walls themselves. Her lips parted slightly as she looked around, trying to identify a source, and that’s when the whispering intensified, soaring and pulsing, swirling around her like a gust of autumn wind.

She turned around again, eyes wide and scared, to finally find a door cracked open, funneling a streak of light onto the darkening corridor. _People_. There must be people talking there – people who could help her. That was the hope she was holding onto as she took careful steps towards the light, a moth to a flame, and pushed it open slowly. For a second, the whispering intensified, and she could almost make out a few of the words.

And then the world went silent.

Not just the whispering, no, but the gentle murmurs of the vast lake, the rustling leaves of century-old trees, the last birds that refused to accept the day was gone. For a fleeting moment it felt like all sound had been sucked out of the world, plunging her into a deafeningly silent vacuum.

That’s when she saw him.

He was already looking at her when her eyes found him sitting in an armchair in the corner, a book hanging limply from his hands. It fell to the ground with a dull thud when he stood up slowly, jaw slack and eyes trained on her, and started to inch closer.

As he moved, his eyes flitted across her face, as if trying to drink in every last detail in as little time as possible. He stopped when their eyes met again, his face a mask of shocked awe.

For an endless moment, their eyes remained locked, and that’s when she realized there was silence in her head, too.

“Princess,” someone said. Rey’s eyes remained locked with the man’s for another moment before both of them turned their heads towards the sound. Getting up from another armchair, a red haired man stood up elegantly, fixing his jacket. “How can we be of service?”

The dark haired man looked at Hux with confusion in his eyes, his face tensed as if trying to figure out a complex puzzle. Almost, Rey thought idly, as if he didn’t expect the other man to acknowledge her presence. His lips parted further, and, when he looked back at her, a slight crease had formed between his dark eyebrows.

That’s when his eyes travelled downwards, flitting across her body with the same sense of urgency with which they’d scanned her face. As he took stock of her clothes, his shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly, and his face fell slowly, much like the flame of a gas lantern fading in the seconds before it goes out. When he looked back at her face, another expression had taken over, but she couldn’t yet name it.

Then his nostrils flared out and the corners of his lips twitched, and it became evident the emotion was anger.

“Who are you?”

His voice was deep and velvety; a rich, smooth baritone that sent an odd shiver through her body.

“This is Princess Kira of Jakku, Your Highness,” Hux rushed to answer, hands behind his back and chest puffed out. “She’s here to take part in the festivities in commemoration of you birth-”

“Jakku has no princess,” the man said bluntly, his lips twitching again. “The king and queen have no heir.” 

“Smooth,” Rey thought she heard Hux mumble before he cleared his throat, taking a step forward. “They have no _male_ heirs, milord. And, as you know, women aren’t included in the line of succession for the Jakku throne. A sensitive, _personal_ topic which princess Kira would _most definitely_ prefer to discuss in a more convenient occasion.”

The man didn’t seem at all fazed by the veiled scolding, because he kept looking at Rey with the same expression, as if she’d just said something immeasurably offensive.

Rey let out a long, shuddering breath, trying to steady her heartbeat. Maybe it was for the best that she failed, because at least her thundering heart served to disrupt this empty, unsettling silence inside her head.

She’d heard silence before, of course. Countless times, she’d heard it. In busy marketplaces; under the fluttering shadow of an old oak tree; under the faint gleam of a velvet sky dotted with a thousand pulsing stars. She’d heard it with Kylo, and it had been sacred, then – cleansing and hallowed, like stepping onto holy ground.

She’d heard it with Kylo, but this man wasn’t Kylo. 

Kylo was lanky and awkward, his limbs slightly too long for his torso, moving ungracefully whenever he walked or spoke. He was aware of it, too, and it showed in the endearing way he carried himself, slightly hunched, as if trying to fold his body into more manageable proportions. This man was the polar opposite of that. Towering over her, he was perfectly proportionate in his broadness, carrying himself with the confidence of someone who _knew_ everything about his build screamed power.

Kylo’s face was endearingly awkward as well, as if a series of features in different stages of maturation had been scrambled together, strength and softness mixed disjointedly in every inch of his pale, angular face. This man’s face, on the other hand, was perfectly assembled like something out of a painting; a set of full lips and a strong, aquiline nose harmonizing to perfection with dark, deep-set eyes that looked like they could see right through her.

Kylo’s hair was short and all over the place, apparently too thick to be tamed, sticking out in all different directions and always exposing a pair of big ears that would turn bright red whenever he was embarrassed – which was often. This man’s hair couldn’t possibly be more different; a soft-looking mane of inky black that framed his handsome face flawlessly and effortlessly, falling in lush waves down his broad neck.

And Kylo laughed – he laughed, and he smiled, and the corners of his eyes crinkled at her whenever she said something he found funny, or annoying, or both. His eyes would light up, then, shining bright and warm, a shade of light caramel that reminded her of sweet, thick honey. This man looked like he’d never smiled in his life – that his full lips had been designed to remain twisted into a permanent scowl; his dark eyes set in a permanent withering gaze. 

Kylo was just a lonely, broken boy her mind had made up to try and cope with this searing, gaping loneliness that lived in her chest, and this man was very clearly the Crown Prince of Naboo.

“My apologies, Your Highness. I didn’t mean to interrupt your reading.” Rey’s voice sounded foreign to her ears when she said the words – eerily composed, as if coming out of someone else’s mouth. “I was having tea with your mother, and I’m afraid I got lost on my way back to my chambers.”

The prince only stared at her in response, the tense line of his lips falling slightly again, his eyebrows rising just a hairbreadth, as if something in her voice had earned her a slightly less stern scowl.

“Please, don’t apologize, Princess Kira,” Hux rushed to intervene, throwing the prince the visual equivalent of a violent stomp on the foot. “I’m sure your presence doesn’t inconvenience Prince Benjamin in the slightest. Isn’t that so, Your Highness?”

Again, the prince didn’t budge, but only kept staring at Rey with a gaze that made her desperate to avert her eyes and unable to do so, all at the same time.

“ _Ben!_ ” she could have sworn she heard Hux whisper angrily, but she didn’t see his mouth move. 

“Well, princess,” the red haired man finally said after another stretch of awkward silence. “I could show you back to your chambers, if you so wish. You must be exhausted after such a long trip.”

“That would be lovely. Thank you.”

Hux bowed with a tense smile, throwing the prince a furtive side glance before he walked quickly towards the door, muttering a polite, “If you’ll follow me.”

Rey held the prince’s gaze for another breath before she sank into a curtsy, turning around to follow Hux out the door. She was about to cross it when she heard the voice behind her.

“Princess Kira?”

She inhaled deeply as she turned around, shoulders squared and jaw clenched.

“Yes, milord?”

There was something different about his face now, although Rey couldn’t quite tell what it was. A softness to his brow; maybe a candor to his eyes or a vulnerability to the slight trembling of his lower lip. Probably just a trick of the light.

“Have – have we met before?”

“I don’t see how we could have, Your Highness.”

For how could she, a scavenger, have ever met a prince?

“Of course,” he muttered, averting his eyes for the first time in what felt like forever. He pressed his full lips together, and his Adam’s apple bobbed before he spoke again. “I apologize. My mind has been known to play tricks on me.”

“There’s no need to apologize. It’s an honest mistake.”

Because it was, wasn’t it? He must have met princesses before, or duchesses, or countesses, or courtesans – women with hazel eyes and golden skin that might resemble her; their looks generic and forgetful enough to trick his memory. For some reason, thinking about them made Rey’s throat itch. “Goodnight, Your Highness.”

He didn’t answer, and she didn’t turn around to examine the look in his eyes before she lowered her head and followed Hux out the door.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Local girl refuses to believe her childhood sweetheart grew up and became a fuckable redwood she'd like to smother with her thighs. "Oh, no!" says self-indulgent gremlin writing their story. "I hope that doesn't cause a bunch of angst and unresolved sexual tension that culminates in desperate sex!"
> 
> Speaking of unresolved sexual tension, you guys excited for that ball? *wink wink nudge nudge*
> 
> See you tomorrow, fam! Love your faces <3


	8. Dim as an ember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Far away, long ago  
> Glowing dim as an ember  
> Things my heart used to know  
> Things it yearns to remember 
> 
> =)

Rey’s footsteps echoed off the marble floors as she crossed the hallway in long strides, holding her skirt so that the hem of her gown wouldn’t cause her to trip. It made the mental image of her tripping down a long staircase pop into her head again, and she swallowed thickly, locking her jaw.

“Stop gulping,” Rose whispered by her side, and it took Rey a herculean amount of self-control to refrain from rolling her eyes.

“I’m not _gulping_.”

“Yes you are. _Loud._ Not very princess-y.”

“Well,” Rey whispered angrily, narrowing her eyes. “Maybe because I’m not a _freaking_ –”

“Princess Kira!”

The girls were like deer caught in the headlights when their heads snapped forward. Before them, right next to the massive carved doors they’d been looking for, stood Hux in an immaculate burgundy tailcoat adorned with silver threads. “You found your way.”

“Your instructions were very precise, milord, thank you,” Rey said, trying her best to squeeze the words through her collapsing diaphragm.

“I’m glad to hear that – I was afraid you might have gotten lost again. In fact,” he added, hands clasped firmly behind his back. “I was about to go looking for you. The queen was starting to wonder.”

“I’m terribly sorry. I’m afraid Lady Loan got a bit... _carried away_ with preparations.”

She threw Rose a furtive side glance as she said that. Rey _had,_ after all, spent the best part of three hours insisting that the party dresses Maz had sent them should be more than enough, and that there was no need to spend hours upon hours poking and prodding her face with objects that looked a lot like torture devices.

Rose, however, seemed unfazed by the veiled jab.

“Oh, but it was worth it. Wouldn’t you say so, milord?”

Hux gulped audibly at that, his eyes trained on Rose as he answered.

“Very much so, milady.”

And Rose _did_ look stunning in her pale blue silk dress, with her half pinned-up hair cascading down her back in blueish-black waves, Rey would be the first to admit that. Her own look, however, still made guilt nip at her stomach every time she looked down. The dress _would_ look stunning on someone else, she supposed. It was truly beautiful, the way its gauzy fabric transitioned from yellow to pink to a deep shade of lilac, leaving her shoulders and her back exposed as it fell ethereally down her body and her arms. It looked – and she was ready to admit it – as if the sunset of Naboo itself had been woven into the light, flowy, luxurious fabric, and it would definitely look breathtaking on a real princess, or even on a queen. Rey, however, was no princess, and the silver choker that held the halter dress around her neck felt particularly tight every time she swallowed, as if to remind her of that.

Luckily, Rose had agreed to style Rey’s hair just like Maz had. Even in this polished, sophisticated version of themselves, the three buns did feel familiar and comforting, unlike the blush on her lips and cheeks or the charcoal black paste in which Rose had coated her lashes.

“Shall we?” Hux said when he finally managed to look back at Rey. She returned the gaze, and the sight of his hand gesturing towards the large doors behind him pulled her right out of her musings.

“Of course.” She nodded as she said it, and the man opened the door courteously, gesturing for them to enter first.

Rey found herself on a balcony of sorts, looking out onto the biggest room she’d ever seen. Huge, ceiling-high glass windows covered the back wall of the ballroom, framing a deep blue sky stained with a splatter of silver stars. Hanging from the high ceiling, a massive crystal chandelier seemed to catch the light of the stars and reflect it right back into the room, casting twinkling reflections onto the smooth, shiny marble floors. The light also caught on crystal flutes of champagne, diamond necklaces, emerald earrings, ruby bracelets: it shone upon every glistening detail of the people who moved around the room, studding the ball with constellations of glimmering stars that mirrored those in the sky. Rey didn’t realize she was frozen in place until Rose poked her in the ribs, jerking her head sideways.

To their right, Hux was standing next to a broad staircase that snaked down to the ball, waiting patiently for them. Nodding discreetly, Rey moved towards him, and Rose followed, stopping when they reached the top of the stairs.

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Kira of Jakku,” Hux announced. His voice echoed above the low buzz of conversation and the soft music of a string quartet. “And Lady Loan Tico.” 

Taking a deep breath, Rey lifted the hem of her dress again, bracing her left hand on the beautifully wrought golden railing that flanked the stairs. As she descended slowly, all her attention focused on keeping her chin high, her shoulders squared and not tripping down the stairs, she barely noticed the room had gone dead silent.

“Why’s everyone staring?” she whispered to Rose when they reached the first landing and she finally noticed the dozens of eyes intently glued to her.

“Because you look like a vision.”

“Rose, I’m serious!” Rey murmured exasperatedly, throwing Rose a desperate side glance. “Did the thing on my lashes smudge or something?”

“I’m serious, too,” her friend replied through gritted teeth, a fake smile on her lips. “And the mascara’s intact, now _keep moving_.”

As they made their way down the second and last flight of stairs, the queen approached the staircase with a huge smile, her arms outstretched towards Rey.

“My dear, dear girl,” Leia murmured when Rey was finally close enough to take her hands. She helped the girl down the final steps, eyeing her dress with a wet glimmer in her chocolate eyes. “You look…” Shaking her head almost imperceptibly, the queen raised her eyes to Rey’s face again, squeezing her hands gently. “It looks _perfect_ on you.”

“Thank you,” Rey muttered with a small curtsy, her eyes searching for Rose’s instinctively.

“And you, Lady Loan,” the queen said, reaching for Rose’s hand and squeezing it, too. Rey could have sworn she saw the exact moment when Rose's soul left her body. “You look stunning, too. Just _stunning_.”

“T-thank you, Your Majesty,” Rey saw Rose stammer, taking mental notes to pester her about it later.

With a wide smile, Leia turned back to Rey.

“There are a few people I’d like to you to meet, sweetheart. Would you come with me?”

“Of course,” Rey said. With a smile she hoped would look gracious, she took the queen’s arm and followed her towards a group of elderly gentlemen.

As they crossed the room, Rey’s eyes strayed towards the windows to look at the stars, and her stomach did a somersault when she met a set of dark eyes staring right at her.

The prince looked every bit… well, a prince. His tailcoat was tailored perfectly to his broad shoulders and muscular arms, somehow making him look even larger than he’d looked the previous night in the reading room. From a distance, Rey couldn’t tell whether the coat was black or navy blue, but she could definitely see the opulent, lavish golden embroidery that embellished its collar and lapel, a perfect match to the white and golden waistcoat he was wearing underneath.

She only had a split second to take in those details, because she averted her eyes as soon as she saw his locked jaw and his burning stare, full lips set in a type of frown she couldn’t decipher. Inhaling deeply, she turned her attention back to the queen and to the group of men that now stood very close, looking at her intently.

For the next half hour or so, Rey was paraded around the room by a radiant queen, followed closely by Rose, who seemed to be having a little too much fun with her friend’s visible discomfort.

“And this, of course,” Leia said cheerfully, approaching a short, stumpy gentleman. “Is admiral Ackbar, a most esteemed member of the Royal Advisory Council.”

“Princess Kira,” the man said, pressing his lips to Rey’s hand. “It’s an honor.”

“The honor’s all mine, admiral,” Rey replied with a smile and a small bow. “I grew up with so many stories of your service in the Mustafar wars.”

“God, I _am_ old, aren’t I?” the man said with an exaggerated sigh, making Rey laugh for the first time since she’d entered the room.

She should have known it wasn’t going to last.

“Excuse me, Your Majesty,” a voice said behind her. When she turned around, governor Palpatine was standing just a few feet away, accompanied by a tall man clad in opulent black and silver. The man’s cruel blue eyes gleamed as they roamed up and down Rey’s body, and she could feel a cold, damp weight lodge in her stomach.

“Governor Palpatine. May I help you?” Leia asked, her smile a lot more contained than it had been a second before. 

“I would like to introduce princess Kira to count Vicrul. He’s been eager to meet her ever since he heard of her arrival.”

“Your Highness,” Vicrul drawled, bowing before he took Rey’s hand and kissed it, his lips lingering a little too long on her skin. She had to physically resist the urge to snatch her hand away. “I’m delighted to see such beauty join our little contest.”

The condescension in his voice made a storm start to brew inside her chest, and she did her best to keep it at bay.

“I’m delighted to be here too, milord. And I cannot _wait_ to watch you show us _your best_.” The coldness in her voice was surprising even to her own ears, but the man didn’t seem to pick up on her disdain.

“Oh, it will be an honor to show you _my best_ , princess,” he said with a sly smile that made bile rise to Rey’s throat.

“Well, now that you’ve been introduced,” Palpatine intervened with a polite smile. “I’m afraid I’ll have to steal the queen for a moment. The Countess of Chandrila would like a word with you, Your Majesty.”

“Of course,” the queen replied, reaching for Rey’s hand and giving it a final squeeze. “Please go have fun now, dear. That’s what balls are for.” 

As soon as the queen and the governor had disappeared into the crowd, Vicrul opened his mouth to speak again. Rey turned her back to him with nothing but a curt, “Excuse me,” pulling Rose with her as she walked away.

“That’s the one, isn’t he? From the bazaar?”

“Yeah,” Rey answered, stopping when they seemed to be at a safe distance.

“You’ll kick his ass tomorrow.”

“Here’s to hoping,” she replied, accepting two flutes of champagne from a waiter with a small smile.

“To hoping,” Rose repeated as they toasted.

Much to Rey’s surprise, they managed to follow Queen Leia’s advice for a long, glorious hour. After they were done with the initial formalities of the ball, and after the haze of fear and tension had dissipated, the two girls seemed to finally be able to pay attention to everything going on around them. And, as it turned out, truly _seeing_ everything meant finding out that none of their childhood fantasies had come close to doing the palace’s main ballroom justice.

They made a point of tasting all the food they could; exploring every nook and cranny of the magnificent room; observing the beautiful gowns and exquisite jewelry of the women walking past them; watching couples dance and twirl against a backdrop of splattered stars.

“Did we try that one?” Rose asked excitedly, pointing to the large tray of colorful canapés a waiter was offering to a nearby group of tall, beautiful women.

“I don’t think so,” Rey whispered.

As if on cue, the man approached them with a kind smile.

“Blue cheese and apricot jam crostini, Your Highness.”

“Yes, thank you,” Rey accepted with a wide smile, picking the largest canapé she could find and waiting for Rose to do the same.

“Oh. My. _God_ ,” Rose moaned when she sank her teeth into the crostini.

“I _know_!” Rey agreed, reveling in the explosion of flavors inside her mouth as she chewed a particularly large bite.

She closed her eyes for a second, humming at the mouthwatering blend of sweetness and saltiness on her tongue. When she opened them again, Rose was staring wide-eyed at something right over Rey’s shoulder.

“What? What’s –” she started to ask, popping the rest of her crostini into her mouth.

“Princess Kira.”

Rey was still in the process of licking apricot jam off her thumb when she turned around slowly, looking up to find the source of the deep, velvety voice.

“Prince Benjamin.” 

He hadn’t been this close the previous night, so Rey hadn’t been able to tell just how tall he was. She wasn’t a short woman by any standard, and still she had to crane her neck to look at his face – which was probably a bad idea to begin with, because it caused a weird tingly feeling to coil in her stomach.

“May I have a word?”

Had his voice been this deep the previous night, or was it the cheerful staccato of the violins that made it sound like that in comparison? Rey swallowed the remnants of the crostini in her mouth, pointedly not staring at his mouth as she answered – which in hindsight wasn’t a good idea either, because it meant staring at his eyes instead.

“Of course,” was all she managed to squeeze out. 

“It has been…” He pressed his lips together, throwing a furtive side glance towards the spot where the queen and Hux were talking animatedly. “It has been brought to my attention that I may have been… indelicate. And tactless. Yesterday.”

Rey stood in silence, waiting for him to go on, but he just kept staring at her, his face a mask of poised restraint.

“And?” she finally said when she felt like she couldn’t hold his gaze for a second longer without _something_ happening inside her fluttering stomach.

“And I would like to apologize,” he replied, his tone indicating it should have been obvious.

“Oh,” she murmured, nodding. “Again, there’s no need to apologize. Your confusion was warranted.”

“But not my rudeness.” There seemed to be a certain candor to his voice when he said that, but Rey may have imagined it, because it was gone in a millisecond. When he spoke again, there was nothing but detachment in his tone – a pompous, formal automatism that made her feel like he was reading a script, or maybe defaulting back to a habit. “Our kingdoms are old friends and allies, and the esteem House Organa holds for the kingdom of Jakku cannot be overstated. It would be regrettable if my temper were to jeopardize that relationship in any way.”

“I can assure you no harm was done, Your Highness,” Rey said, straightening her spine instinctively as she held his unwavering gaze.

“Good,” he muttered, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Another long stretch of silence followed, and Rey was almost sure he would have been able to hear her thundering heart if it wasn’t for the music.

“Was that all?” she finally asked, her voice strained from the tightness in her throat.

“No.”

There was an edge to the way he said the word that made it sound like it had fallen from his lips without his mind’s consent, before he’d been able to coat it in the polish of formality he’d used before. He tensed immediately, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “No, I… May I?”

“May you what?”

The words also fell from Rey’s lips unpolished, and the painful jab of Rose’s finger to her ribs told her that was probably not how princesses were supposed to talk.

After a furtive glance in Rose’s direction, Rey looked down, and only then did she find his hand outstretched to her.

“Oh. _Oh_ ,” she stuttered, trying to meet his eyes without letting her shock show. “Oh, I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t dance.”

“Me neither,” the prince said bluntly, working his jaw. “But I’m afraid neither of us will ever hear the end of it if my mother doesn’t think that my retraction was proportional to my offense.”

“You can tell the queen no offense was taken.”

“I don’t think you know the queen very well, princess,” he murmured, and there was a softness to his lips that almost resembled a smirk. “It’s… a matter of diplomacy. I think you can empathize with the sacrifices that entails, given you’re here to ‘partake in the festivities’ for my birthday even though you’re clearly uncomfortable with all of this _nonsense_.”

He gestured towards the other side of the room as he said the last word, and Rey’s eyes followed his hand towards a group of noblemen and politicians exchanging disingenuous smiles.

“Are you implying dancing with me would be a sacrifice, Your Highness?”

She didn’t know where the words had come from, nor why they’d chosen to fall out of her mouth with that teasing edge to their tone, but for some unexplainable reason she couldn’t help smiling as she said them.

The prince swallowed thickly again, and she could have sworn she saw a faint blush creep up his neck, crawling up the high collar of his immaculate tailcoat. It almost reminded her of something – or _someone_. It almost reminded her of…

She pushed the thought to the back of her mind, as the years had taught her to do with anything that hurt.

“No,” he finally rasped, shaking his head. “That’s… that’s not what I meant. What I meant was… I see how it would be a sacrifice for you. Since… since you don’t. Dance.”

“A sacrifice _I_ should make to spare _you_ of your mother’s wrath?”

It felt like she couldn’t help it, the playfulness in her voice; the contentment it gave her to watch his Adam’s apple bob like that. Almost, she thought idly, as if her tongue were reacting on instincts it had learned long before.

Once again, she shoved the feeling away, watching his mouth open and close without emitting any sound.

And then she took mercy on him.

“I suppose more gruesome sacrifices have been made in the name of diplomacy,” she murmured, smiling softly as she placed her hand on his.

His skin felt warm – warm and unexpectedly soft.

 _Of course it would_ , she thought. _He’s a prince._

She tried to ignore the weird electricity that hummed through her fingers as they touched, allowing him to lead her to the middle of the room, where several couples were moving to the last notes of a cheery waltz. The prince stopped right under the glistening chandelier and turned to face her, his inscrutable mask back to its rightful place.

It took Rey a moment to realize that he hadn’t let go of her hand.

The first notes of the new song started to drizzle all around them – a gentle plucking of strings that sounded like the pitter-patter of rain on glass. Rey’s eyes darted to their joined hands when the prince raised them, and she hesitated for a second before bringing her other hand to rest on his shoulder.

He pressed his lips together, and, in the split second before he placed his hand on her waist, it almost looked like _something_ was trying to peek through his stoic façade. His face, however, held its ground – which doesn’t mean the rest of his body had the same luck. It was almost imperceptible, barely there, but real enough to make Rey’s breath catch in her throat: the hesitant graze of his large fingers on the naked skin of her back; the slight tremor of his hand as it held hers; the subtle raggedness of his breathing as his chest rose and fell, close enough to touch. When the rest of the quartet joined the first violin, Rey inhaled deeply, and the prince did, too, as if they were taking the same breath.

And then he stepped forward. 

When he started to move, she didn’t know how her feet followed. All she knew was that they _did,_ somehow shadowing his light, rhythmic steps as if they knew where they were supposed to go a split second before they did. It was tense, at first. She’d glance down every now and then, convinced that disaster was imminent; waiting for the moment she’d miss a step or trip over her own gown, making a fool of herself in the middle of a star-studded ballroom.

It wasn’t long, however, before she stopped looking downwards, mainly because her brain seemed to have forgotten the ground existed.

In more ways than one, it felt like being underwater, or being plunged into the comfortable haze that precedes sleep; the fleeting state that’s neither reality nor dream, suspended in time and space, where frivolities such as floors and ceilings have no place.

It felt good, she decided with no input from her rational mind. It felt safe – his hand gently placed on her waist, leading her from side to side; the warmth of his palm on hers; his solid shoulder under her hand; the way his eyes flickered down to her lips when they started to draw perfect circles across the marble floor; the warm shade of caramel she saw in them when they did.

When the music soared, swirling upwards and upwards towards the crystal chandelier, they followed its rhythm, turning faster and faster around an invisible axis.

 _Stars,_ she thought idly. They were like stars dancing around each other’s gravity; tethered to each other’s orbit by some luminous yet unseen thread woven out of the dust of a thousand suns that were no more. 

Rey almost gasped when his hand left her waist. For a second, her skin felt cold, and she felt as if she’d been dropped down a dark pit, torn away from his gravity, exiled from the warm safety of his touch. But then he twirled her around, and the world passed her by in a blur before he pulled her back to him.

Did he know that, once he had her back in his arms, his hand on her waist felt heavier than it had before?

She probably should have told him. Told him that his fingers were digging into her skin; that his hand was squeezing hers a little too tight; that their bodies were probably closer than they should have been, close enough that she could feel his warmth on every inch of her tingling skin. She should have, but she didn’t, because, when he held her like this – a little too tight, a little too close – it felt like he was telling her he’d never let her go.

They were alone in the world, now, spinning and twirling and swaying to their own music, until they weren’t anymore.

The last notes of a mournful cello dragged across the room, and they slowed down as the sound quivered in the air, as if hanging onto the last threads of the fading music. Then the last notes died, and they probably shouldn’t have kept holding each other like that, when complete silence reigned around them, but still they did.

It wasn’t until a glass shattered somewhere in the distance that Rey took a hurried step back, letting her hands fall to her sides. Before her, the crown prince of Naboo stood panting, his stoic façade nowhere to be found. His eyes were blazing embers when they pierced into hers, and, oh, did they burn. For a split second, she let her gaze linger on his parted lips; on his raised eyebrows; on this naked, anguished longing in his eyes, and it was like snapping out of a daydream.

“Are you sure we –”

“I have to go.”

They said it at the same time, and Rey tried to swallow, only to realize her mouth was too dry to do it.

“I… I should rest. For tomorrow. The first task.” Her voice sounded raspy, so she cleared he throat, blinking rapidly. “Goodnight, Your Highness.”

“Wait. Please, I –”

She didn’t stay to hear the end of it, but instead turned around in one swift movement, ignoring whispers and curious stares as she crossed the ballroom in long strides. She’d almost reached the staircase when Rose caught up with her.

“What the hell was that?”

Rey lifted the hem of her gown as she started to make her way up the staircase, pointedly ignoring the question.

“Rey, wait,” Rose whispered, heels clicking on marble as she jogged after her friend. “Where are you going?”

“To sleep,” Rey finally said, turning around. “I’m sorry, Rosie, I’m tired. And tomorrow’s a big day.”

“I’m going with you.”

“No,” Rey murmured, rubbing Rose’s arm. “No, you stay. Go talk to Hux. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night.”

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Rose whispered, a crease forming between her brows. “I’m coming.”

When Rey didn’t answer, her friend reached for her hand, squeezing it softly.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

Blinking back tears, Rey nodded, and together they turned around, making their way up the stairs without looking back.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think by now you've already guessed that [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnG4eU9hWj4l) was the song they were dancing to. I told you from the beginning this story was a self-indulgent pile of flaming garbage. Don't @ me. 
> 
> Also, as many of you have guessed, yes, Rey's wearing Padme's dresses. Leia has always been my favorite SW character, and what TRoS did to her broke my heart in ways I can't even express, especially after we got [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/9056dq/leia_looks_for_a_dress_in_padmes_wardrobe_in_the/) scene in Poe's comic. It just seemed very, very cruel of them to let her die without getting her boy back and without having the granddaughter to whom she wanted to give her mother's dresses, so consider that little easter egg my tribute to princess Leia Organa. She deserved better.
> 
> Love your faces!! See you tomorrow for a certain... display of Force abilities.


	9. And, darling, they all look like me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the *Tati, stop naming shit after Taylor Swift songs 2020* challenge. Spoiler: I'm failing miserably.

Rey knew the face staring back at her in the mirror would be pale as a ghost if it wasn’t for the blush Rose had carefully applied to her cheeks and lips. She could tell it by the tense line of her jaw; the slight tremor on her lower lip; the way her trembling fingers struggled to secure her cape around her neck. Most of all, she could tell it by the way her heart was hammering against her ribcage, making it hard for her to breathe.

“Rey?”

“Hm?”

She swallowed thickly before she looked away from the mirror to meet Rose’s worried eyes. Her friend took her hand and squeezed it, and only then did Rey realize her fingers were cold as ice.

“If it’s too much,” Rose whispered, rubbing Rey’s skin to warm it up. “If you _want to_ we can walk through that door right now and go home. But I trust you, babe. I know you can do this. I know you can _show them_.”

Rey nodded, blowing out a quivering breath as Rose fixed the tendrils of hair she’d left out of the three buns.

“We’ve come this far. I know I have to try. It’s just… you should have heard the queen, Rose. She was talking about these… these abilities, these names I’ve never even _heard_ before.”

“But they’ll give you a task, right?” Rose murmured kindly. “They’ll explain what you have to do, and then you try to do it. I’ve seen you do amazing things, Rey. _Show them_ what you can do. Let them see you the way I see you, the way Maz sees you. That’s all you need to do.”

“And if I fail?” Rey asked, the tears she was holding back peeking through her voice.

“If you don’t win, you’ll still have proven to the royal family of Naboo that a scavenger from the outskirts of town can wield. Is that what you call failure?”

Rey swallowed back her tears, pressing her lips together before she wound her arms around Rose.

“I love you, Rosie.”

“Love you more,” her friend whispered, smiling into her shoulder.

They held each other for a long moment, until a knock on the door made them take a step back.

“Yes?” Rose called.

“Princess Kira, Lady Loan,” Hux’s voice echoed, muffled by the wooden door. “The queen and prince await your presence in the throne room.”

Rey drew in another deep breath just as Rose reached for her hands, squeezing them gently.

“Showtime,” she whispered, and Rey couldn’t help but smile.

Thankfully, the walk to the throne room wasn’t nearly as long as the one to the queen’s chambers. Even with Rose’s presence by her side, discreetly squeezing her hand every now and then, Rey didn’t think she would have been able to keep swallowing down this cold, damp lump crawling up her throat for much longer.

“Shoulders squared,” Rose whispered as they followed Hux down a wide marble staircase. “Chin up.”

If the mere thought of speaking didn’t _also_ threaten to make her violently sick, Rey would have told Rose that she was in no condition to do _anything_ with her chin.

As they crossed a large atrium towards lofty wooden doors, Rey thought she recognized the corridor to her right – the one that would lead her right down the main staircase, into the entrance hall, straight out of the front door and –

“Ow!” she mouthed when Rose poked her painfully in the ribs.

She was still frowning at her friend when she heard the massive doors in front of her creak open.

“Her Royal Highness, Princess Kira of Jakku,” Hux announced, and Rey’s head snapped towards the open door to find every head in the room staring at her.

At first, she barely registered the faces. Her eyes happened to be too busy flittering around in stunned awe, struggling to process what they were seeing. The room was round and massive, surrounded by a set of intricately carved marble pillars that stretched upwards towards a jade domed ceiling. Above Rey’s head, supported by the pillars, six marble boxes encircled the room, offering the people sitting in them a privileged view of the spectacle below.

 _Courtiers_ , Rey thought, swallowing thickly and averting her gaze as quickly as she could.

Ironically, his eyes were the first ones she made direct contact with. It was an accident – she was simply admiring the magnificent ceiling-high stained glass that covered the walls when her gaze slipped downwards, towards the two thrones standing right against the windows across from her. 

And that’s where she found him sitting down with his legs spread apart, slightly hunched forward, dark eyes burning as they locked with hers.

“Princess Kira!” With a kind smile on her lips, the queen stood up from the other throne, patting her son’s hand gently before she opened her arms. “How lovely to see you. Shall we start, then?”

Hux nodded, leading Rey and Rose down the marble steps that separated the periphery of the circular chamber from its center. That’s when Rey saw the six men standing in a semicircle around the middle of the room, facing the throne, all clad in black velvet, dark blue silk or deep plum satin. The six set of eyes were staring intently at her, but she only recognized the cold, blue ones at the left end of the semicircle.

“Shall we proceed in order of arrival?” Queen Leia asked, still smiling. “That would make you last, Kira, dear. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” Rey replied. It felt like swallowing a handful of sand. “Of course, Your Majesty.”

“Excellent! If you’ll stand next to count Vicrul – yes, like that, perfect! – Prince Benjamin will present today’s challenge. Ben?”

Rey had to force herself to look back at the prince, only to find his eyes still staring at her. He held her gaze for a long moment before he stood up, finally acknowledging the presence of the men standing in front of him.

“Telekinesis,” he said, his deep voice echoing off the marble floors and stained glass windows, ricocheting right into her bones. “One of the most infamous force abilities, and also one of the hardest to master.”

He gestured towards the center of the room, pointing to a massive pedestal Rey hadn’t paid attention to. It was a round, hefty block of solid marble, at least 7 feet in diameter and 5 in height. Right in the middle of it, looking tiny in the stately splendor of the room, sat one single ruby red apple.

“I’m aware,” the prince continued, “of the fact that this is a taxing first task, and we wouldn’t expect everyone to succeed. But, if we _must_ make a spectacle of this, I see no better way to start.”

His lips twitched as he said that, and Rey could see his eyes dart towards his mother for a split second before he spoke again.

“Move the apple. Give us your best. _Entertain us_.” 

The disdain in his voice was almost palpable as it stretched across the silent room. The prince sat down again, elbow on the armrest on the throne, legs slightly parted, and a beat of silence followed. A beat of silence disrupted by a loud, inelegant snort.

It took Rey a second to realize it had come from her mouth.

In her defense, she’d argue that she was expecting _everyone_ to laugh, because there _had_ to be a catch. This couldn’t be the challenge – not something as trivial as moving an apple.

Nobody laughed, though. In fact, a solemn silence had fallen over the room like a heavy shroud, so Rey cleared her throat, avoiding eye contact with the prince as her gaze strayed towards the apple.

“It’s alright, princess,” Vicrul murmured next to her, his tone menacingly soft. “It’s a hard one, even for the best of us.” Once again, the condescension in his voice made something nasty awaken in her stomach. 

“Are there any questions?” the prince asked, and Rey could tell his gaze was fixed on her, even though her eyes were still glued to the pedestal. She didn’t answer, but a few murmurs around her did.

“Good,” the queen said cheerfully. “Lord Kuruk, then. If you will. I believe you’re first in line.”

A wave of excited murmurs crawled down from the boxes above their heads as a man dressed in deep burgundy silk stepped forward. His steps echoed off the marble floors as he approached the pedestal, and then he stopped.

Rey watched him as he raised his hand, his jaw clenched in concentration. For a while, nothing happened. The man pursed his lips and a deep crease formed on his forehead, his fingers shaking from the effort. He stood there, trembling, for what felt like forever before the apple rolled forward, falling off the pedestal and hitting the floor with a dull thud.

Cheers erupted all around them, and Rey inhaled deeply as she watched the apple roll across the room. With an elegant flick of his hand, the prince made it float in front of him, and then sent it back to the pedestal, his face set in a bored frown.

 _A stream. An ocean,_ something whispered in her mind. A memory. A painful one. She shook her head, burying it deep enough to keep it way.

“Next,” Prince Benjamin said emotionlessly, and another man stepped forward.

This one did better. After a long moment of concentration, the apple lost contact with the cold marble, wobbling a few inches above it for a split second before it came crashing down. The man smiled proudly as he bowed to the spectators, throwing Kuruk a smug glance before he walked back to his place.

“Excelent, Count Ushar,” the queen said. “Very impressive. Lord Trudgen, please?”

It took the third man a full minute to make the apple wobble and topple over, and that’s when the thought hit Rey like a freight train.

Something must be different here.

Yes, it was the only plausible explanation. There must be something about the palace that made the Force harder to manipulate – or maybe there was something about the outskirts of town that made it easier. Or maybe she’d never been able to do it at all – it might have been a fluke all along; an illusion; a fantasy; a –

“Duke Ap’Lek?”

She couldn’t do it. She’d been a fraud all along. Dread clawed up her chest, making its way up her throat; making it harder and harder to keep the oxygen coming each time she tried to breathe.

 _A fraud_. How could she drag Rose into this?

She felt her eyes sting, and tears blurred her vision, making it hard to see the duke making the apple float half a foot above the pedestal before it plummeted again.

The world felt like a weird, surreal dream while she watched two more men struggle to make the tiny fruit roll off the block of marble, eliciting waves of applause from the audience.

“Thank you. Count Vicrul?”

The man threw a smug side glance in Rey’s direction before he walked to the center of the room, standing proudly before the pedestal. Like the other men, he shook in concentration, his hand trembling as he pointed it to the apple, but his results proved far more impressive. Within no time, the fruit was hovering a full foot above cold stone, and it stayed there, wobbling and dancing for a full four seconds before it crashed down.

The count exhaled in exhaustion as he took a step back, and the crowd in the boxes exploded in cheers and screams, chanting his name as he walked back towards Rey. She made a point of not looking at him as he approached. Staring at her shoes, she prayed silently to wake up from this nightmare; to open her eyes and see the cracked ceiling of her house; to hear nothing but the sound of Rose’s soft snoring lulling her back to sleep. She closed her eyes for a split second - hoping, praying, _begging_. When she opened them, the sound she heard told her it hadn't worked.

“Princess Kira?”

She raised her eyes to find the queen looking at her expectantly, a kind smile on her lips. Swallowing hard, Rey blinked back tears as she stepped forward, walking to the middle of the room.

She stared at the ruby red, perfectly symmetrical apple; at the way the sunlight bounced off its perfectly smooth peel, and thought it _had_ to be a dream, because no real apple could be that perfect.

“Whenever you’re ready, dear.”

The queen’s voice startled her, and the low chuckles coming from above her head told her she’d probably been standing there for a little too long. When her eyes darted towards the thrones, they found the prince leaning forward with both elbows braced on his parted knees, his eyes burning holes into her skin as he rolled his jaw.

“C’mon, princess,” a cold voice said behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know who it belonged to. “At least give it a go.”

The chuckles intensified, and Rey locked her jaw, something red and hot unfurling in her core.

**_You just have to trust yourself more._ **

The memory echoed in her mind, and she allowed herself to hold onto it like a drowning woman holding onto the shipwreck. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t real. He’d been her own mind telling her she could do it, and she had done it, hadn’t she? Over and over she had done it, and now she needed her own mind on her side again, telling her she could do it one more time.

Because Rose had trusted her. Because Maz had trusted her. And, whatever she did, she couldn't let them down.

Inhaling deeply, she let her eyes flutter shut, shielding herself from the mocking stares prickling her skin. In and out she breathed, feeling the waves crash inside of her; licking her flesh and rattling her bones. She felt the tension; let it brew for a moment; and then followed the movement of a wave as it licked its way out of her skin and joined the waters around her.

The same waters. The same Force.

Rey raised both hands, exhaling as she pictured the apple and the luminous currents floating around it. _Inside_ it. Inside _her_. 

Several gasps echoed from the boxes, followed by a wave of applause. The apple must have moved.

Moving wasn’t enough, though.

Leaning forward, she concentrated harder, stoking the ocean of energy all around her, making it rage and swirl.

**_You just have to concentrate. Trust your power. Make the water flow right, you know?_ **

She heard a growl fall from her lips as she pushed the waves forward, making them crash more violently. It was probably not the most elegant display of wielding, but she couldn’t care less. She could feel the muscles on her arms shake from the exertion, but she still kept pushing, her jaw locked so tight she could hear her teeth grinding.

The thought of two scrawny children falling to the floor of the marketplace fueled the rage inside her, and she growled again, hearing the raging tide roar in her ears as she pushed the waves towards her target, making the waters whirl around it.

It was impossible for her to tell how much time had passed since she’d started, so she kept pushing through the pain and the exertion. She didn’t know how high she’d been able to lift the apple, so at least she’d have to make sure she’d held it longer.

The noise in her head was so deafening she didn’t notice the crowd around her had gone dead silent almost a minute before.

It wasn’t until her hands started shaking uncontrollably; until her legs started wobbling and threatening to collapse under her weight; that her eyes finally flew open, shooting upwards of their own accord.

High above them, a good twenty feet above the ground, the apple was floating gracefully, twirling and dancing beneath the domed ceiling of the throne room. Just a few inches below, the huge marble pedestal was floating, too, casting a massive round shadow onto the ground.

Rey gasped when she saw it, and she stumbled back, her arms falling to her sides.

She saw the block of marble plummet towards the ground, diving into a twenty feet long free fall, and all of her muscles tensed at the same time, bracing for the deafening impact.

It never came.

A foot before it hit the ground, the pedestal came to a sudden halt. It wobbled in the air for a second before it descended gracefully, landing with a subtle _crunch_. The apple hovered above it for a moment, and then it too landed, rolling across the cold stone and falling over its edge.

Rey watched it as it rolled towards her feet, and only when it hit the tips of her white shoes did she look up.

On the other side of the marble block, with his hand still raised in the air, the crown prince of Naboo stood shaking, his mask of indifference once again nowhere to be found. His parted lips trembled as their eyes locked, and Rey saw his eyebrows shoot up, making him look like a man watching a miracle unfold.

And it was probably a trick of her mind. She _was_ going dizzy, after all. Her legs _did_ feel wobbly and unstable when she took a step back, and her vision _was_ bluring around the edges, making his face go in and out of focus.

So, yes, it was probably just a trick of her mind, but, in the split second before she passed out, she could have sworn she saw his lips move around the shape of her name.

“ _Rey._ ”

***

“Rey? Rey, can you hear me?”

Someone was calling her. Was it… was it Kylo? Had he come back for her?

She’d missed him. _God_ , how she’d missed him.

She tried to move, feeling tears prickle her eyes behind her closed eyelids, but her limbs refused to budge.

“Rey, are you awake?”

But she _had_ to wake up. What if he needed her? What if…

What if he’d been missing her, too?

It was harder than lifting rocks, forcing her eyelids to flutter open. When she finally did, sunlight made her eyes sting, tears pooling around their corners.

“Oh my God, Rey. Are you okay?”

Rey blinked several times and, slowly but surely, Rose’s face came into focus, eyes glistening and forehead creased with concern.

“Rose? What…”

“Shhh, hey, easy. How do you feel?”

There was something damp pressed to Rey’s forehead, and it felt ice cold against her warm skin. When she noticed that, she also realized her head was pounding.

“My head… my head hurts.”

“Hey, don’t move,” Rose murmured, moving to adjust the pillow under Rey’s head and press the compress to her skin. “You passed out, babe. Do you remember?”

There was something - she knew there was _something_ she should remember. Something important. A sharp pain bloomed on her temple when she tried, though, so she just frowned, shaking her head. 

“No, not… Not passing out. I remember opening my eyes. Seeing the pedestal floating.”

“It was _amazing_ ,” Rose said, a bright, teary smile lighting up her face. “Rey, it was _unbelievable_. You should have seen their _faces_. The other Wielders, they were _so pissed._ People are saying they’re making all kind of excuses to leave the palace. I think… Rey, I think you _won_. No one’s gonna go up against you after that.”

Rey drew in a deep breath, looking around the room. The gauzy curtains to her right were tinged golden by the sky outside, which told her it must be past noon.

“And what… what happened? I passed out. Did that marble block just… fall? Did I…wreck the throne room?”

Still smiling, Rose let out a low chuckle, adjusting the compress on Rey’s forehead.

“No, the prince stopped it. I didn’t get a good look, I was so focused on Vicrul’s face – _oh my God_ , Rey, you should have seen him. I only realized you’d passed out when everyone gasped.”

Rey nodded, wetting her lips. They felt dry and chapped.

“And then you brought me here?”

“Well,” Rose drawled, shifting on the bed. “Then things got kinda… Confusing? The prince was at your side in no time, and he was just… kneeling there? He wouldn’t let anyone come anywhere near you to check if you were okay. I mean, he literally _snarled_ at Vicrul when he tried.”

“Wha… why?” Rey murmured, and Rose shrugged.

“I don’t know, he went completely wild. And then he… Okay, are you ready for this? Then he _scooped you into his arms_ – Rey, I’m not even kidding – he scooped you into his arms and carried you all the way over here. It was actually kinda hot.”

“Rose!”

“What? It was! He’s _big_ , holy –”

“Why would he do that?”

“Beats me,” Rose said, shrugging again. “I followed him, of course. Was ready to give him a piece of my mind if he tried to snarl at me too, but he actually asked me to stay with you while he prepared the compresses.”

“He _prepared the_ _compresses_?”

“ _Yeah!_ I know, right? Said we needed to lower your body temperature. Then he asked me to apply them, and he just… crouched for a while. Over there,” she explained, pointing to a spot a few feet away from the bed. “It was the weirdest thing.”

“What… and then he just… left?”

“Ohhh, no,” Rose said, laughing as she shook her head. “No, the queen had to come here and basically drag him out by the ear.”

“The queen was here?!”

“Rey, I’m telling you it was _insane_! She came, asked to talk to him. I left to give them some privacy, obviously, but then they left together.”

“And how long… How long was I…”

“A few hours, I think. The prince did say it was just exhaustion. That you should feel better if you managed to get some sleep. You hungry? They brought you some fruit.”

When Rey’s eyes found the big fruit bowl sitting on a coffee table, her stomach immediately churned.

“No. not now. Maybe I should sleep a little more.”

“Yeah, you do that. You comfy? Want another pillow?”

“No, it’s fine. I think –”

Rey never got to finish that sentence, because there was a loud knock on the door before she could. She watched Rose’s eyebrows knit together before her friend stood up, walking towards the door. From where she was lying, Rey couldn’t really see the corridor, but there was no mistaking his voice.

“Your Highness. What can –”

“Is she awake?”

“She… she just woke up, she’s still feeling –”

“I need to talk to her.”

“With all due respect, Your Highness, I don’t think –”

“I need to talk to her,” he repeated, and there was a distinct note of desperation in his voice. “ _Please._ ”

“It’s okay,” Rey said from the bed, causing Rose to throw her a skeptical glance over her shoulder. “Really. It’s okay. Let him in.”

With another uncertain look, Rose took a step back, pursing her lips as she opened the door.

The man who walked in looked like he’d been to hell and back. His usually immaculate hair was tousled and disheveled, like he’d been running his fingers through it for hours. Under his eyes, a faint redness stained his pale skin, and his once pristine black clothes were wrinkled and creased.

“I’ll be next door, okay? If you need me.” Rose’s voice was soft and warm, but tinged with an edge of concern. Rey reassured her with a small smile and a nod, watching her disappear into the adjacent bedroom.

When the prince closed the door behind him, Rey could see the slight tremor of his hand. He took a few hesitant steps towards the bed, but stopped a few feet away, as if unable to bring himself any closer. His hands balled into fists by his sides when he swallowed hard, pressing his lips together.

“Hi.”

It was definitely not what she expected him to say, so she blinked a few times, eyes fixed on his tortured face.

“H-hi?”

“I…” he started, but it didn’t seem to be the right word, because he stopped and pressed his lips together again, clenching and unclenching his fists rapidly. “We…”

“Yes?” Rey asked softly.

“We have, haven’t we? Met before?”

He said it quickly, as if worried he might not be able to get it out if he said the words too slowly. And then he swallowed again, his eyes fixed on her, blazing and expectant.

“Your Highness, I don’t see how we –”

“Please.” It was a broken, pained murmur that seeped right into Rey’s flesh. A muscle on his jaw clenched as he pursed his lips, and Rey was almost sure there were tears glistening in his eyes. “Please, don’t tell me you don’t remember. Don’t… don’t tell me you forgot about me.”

His last words sounded thin and feeble, almost as if he’d barely managed to squeeze them out before his voice broke.

So she’d been right before. She did remind him of someone. Someone he’d lain with, probably. Maybe even someone he’d loved. The thought made something green and ugly unfurl in Rey’s chest, and, before she knew it, hot tears were burning in her eyes.

Because, the thing is, he reminded her of someone, too. Broken like this, fragile like this, his eyes were a mirrored image of the eyes that had smiled at her beneath the shade of a mighty oak tree through endless sunny afternoons.

Eyes that had laughed with her, and smiled at her, and comforted her in her darkest hours. Eyes that had wordlessly told her she’d never be alone again.

But she’d been down his road before. For several months – God, for several _years_ – after he’d disappeared, she’d see Kylo everywhere. A blur of raven black hair rounding a corner; a pair of hazel eyes locking with hers, a laugh that sounded slightly similar ringing through the marketplace. She’d see him in every little thing, but, every time she looked closer, heart hammering and chest filled with hope, it would never be him.

It had happened once. Twice. A thousand times. It had happened over and over again, until she’d finally learned that hope was, in fact, a poisonous, insidious thing.

Hope, after all, was what had kept her awake through endless dark nights, worried that she might miss him coming if she fell asleep. Hope was what had made her sit under a stupid oak tree for hours upon hours, her heart pounding at the slightest hint of movement, hoping to find him smiling at her, telling her he’d missed her. Hope was what had kept her waiting for hours and days and months and _years_ until reality had finally come along and shattered her heart like it was made of glass. And hope was what had left her all alone to pick up the pieces, feeling like the abandoned five-year-old she’d tried so hard to grow beyond.

But she was no longer a child, fragile and scared, desperately trying to mend the pieces of a broken heart. She was a grown woman now. A grown woman who knew better than to hope.

“I don’t know who you think I am,” Rey said, and her voice sounded low and shaky, barely recognizable to her own ears. “I don’t know who this woman was – this countess, or duchess, or princess, or courtesan you used to lie with. I have sympathy for your heartache. Trust me, I do, but I can assure you she’s not here.”

“How can I be wrong about this?”

His voice came out in a teary, frustrated cry, and Rey watched him run his hands through his hair in anguish.

“Well, you are,” she answered, her voice uncharacteristically harsh, warped by the unshed tears in her eyes. Desperate to convince him. Maybe desperate to convince herself.

She saw the prince’s jaw unclench when his lips parted as if to say something. He didn’t say a word, though, so Rey decided she should.

“I’m really sorry, Your Highness, I’m... I’m very tired. And in pain.” 

He blinked a few times, and a lone tear trickled down the side of his face as he nodded.

“Of course,” His voice was barely audible through the hoarseness. “Goodnight, Your Highness.”

For some reason, Rey’s eyes refused to follow him as he left. Of their own accord, they strayed to the fluttering white curtains, focusing on the sunlight dancing across the translucent fabric as the bedroom door clicked shut. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dodges rotten fruit*
> 
> Guys, we're close, okay? I promise you'll be getting a 7k word chapter that's literally just smut really soon. Just be patient with my angsty ass and don't give up on me, pelase? T.T
> 
> Comments make me the happiest girl on the planet, so please let me know if you have any thoughts on this one!
> 
> Love your faces <3
> 
> PS.: Come say hi on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/HeartSabers) and [Tumblr](https://heartsabers.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to! I'm quarantined, lonely, and in need of some friends! Hahahah


	10. Ruins and echoes

Sweet juice trickled down Rey’s arm when she bit into the nectarine in her hand, and she hurried to lick it off.

“Hey! Be careful. The pants!”

Rey rolled her eyes at Rose in response, licking the corner of her mouth.

“Isn’t there something less… _white_ I could wear?”

“ _No._ That’s your day to day outfit. The other ones are occasion dresses,” Rose explained, popping a date into her mouth.

“God,” Rey laughed, biting the rest of her nectarine. “You’re really taking the handmaiden thing seriously, aren’t you?”

“Oh, excuse me for making sure you look like a princess while you humiliate the most powerful men in the kingdom, _Kira_!”

“Yeah, but why can’t I do it in something that doesn’t get stained if you look at it too long?”

“Oh, stop whining.” Rose said, rolling her eyes. Her lips were still pursed when she got up, moving to set the empty food tray down on the nearest coffee table. “I already let you take off the cape to make you more comfortable.”

“Oh, you _let me_?”

“Damn right I did. Don’t get used to it, though. When you’re fully recovered, the cape’s _back on_.”

“I _am_ fully recovered,” Rey said, plopping back on the bed. “My head doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

“You sure?”

And she was. In fact, the events of the previous day felt like a distant dream when she tried to recall them, as if they’d happened to someone else, or maybe in another lifetime.

Well, not _all_ the events.

She swallowed hard as the prince’s haunted eyes invaded her thoughts again. They’d been doing that often, whenever she wasn’t asleep – sometimes when she was, in her dreams. Every time they did, a deep sorrow seemed to spread through her chest

Guilt, she assumed. She shouldn’t have been so harsh with a man who was clearly heartbroken.

Yes, guilt. That had to be it. 

“I’m fine,” she finally answered. “I mean, I _did_ sleep for over twenty-four hours, how could I _not_ be?”

“The prince was right, then.”

“I guess,” Rey shrugged, swallowing as she tried hard to push his eyes away from her thoughts. Changing subjects, in fact, seemed like a very tempting approach. “Hey, what’s bugging you?”

“Me?”

“You. You’ve been off since I woke up.”

“No, I haven’t,” Rose answered, her voice a little too high pitched to sound convincing.

“ _Rose_.”

“ _Rey_.”

“C’mon, spill!” Rey whined, poking Rose’s rib with her foot as her friend plopped back down on the bed.

“It’s just… Right, _ugh._ Cute redhead showed up earlier. When you were asleep.”

“Hux?” Rey had a huge smile on her face when she sat up, hugging a pillow to her chest. “And?”

“And he… Ugh, he kinda asked me to _go for a walk_ with him. See the gardens.”

“Look at you, stealing hearts!” Rey teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Shut up.”

“C’mon, _spill_! What did you say?”

“I said I couldn’t, obviously!” Rose answered, grabbing a pillow and setting it down on her crossed legs. “You needed me here.”

“You did _what_? Rose, I’m _fine_!!”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. I just told you I am,” Rey insisted, leaning forward, pillow tucked between her chest and her bent legs. “What time did he want to go?”

“Half past seven.”

“It’s eight! You can still… find out where his room is or something. Tell him you want to go!”

“He said…” Rose murmured with a shy smile, fluffing the pillow on her lap without looking at Rey. “He said he’d be in the entrance hall waiting anyway.”

“Oh my God, _Rose_!” Rey squealed, her eyebrows shooting towards her hairline. “That’s so cute! You have to go!”

“No.” Her friend shook her head vehemently, picking at a loose thread on the embroidered pillowcase. “No, I’ll just stay with you and –”

“Rose,” Rey groaned, scooting closer and taking her friend’s hand between hers. “Look at me. _I’m fine_. I’ll probably just go to bed again in half an hour and snore like a boar until the morning, okay?”

Rose huffed out a laugh at that, raising her eyes sheepishly.

“Sounds accurate.”

“Go, please?” Rey begged, cocking her head as she smiled. “I’ll never forgive myself if you don’t get to suck cute redhead’s face because of me.”

“God, you’re the worst,” Rose laughed, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Peachy. Ten out of ten. Never been better. Now _go_! He’s waiting!” 

“Okay, I’ll be back in no time, okay?” Rose said with a big smile as she stood up and fixed her dress. “How do I look?”

“Stunning!” Rey said, banging her fists against the pillow impatiently. “Go, go, _go_!”

Rose’s smile widened, and she walked to the door in quick steps, throwing Rey one last excited look before she turned the doorknob and disappeared into the corridor.

With the ghost of a smile still lingering on her lips, Rey sighed as she looked around the room. It was way too big _with_ Rose in it, let alone without her. Big enough and empty enough, in fact, to accommodate dangerous thoughts. Thoughts of honey eyes and quivering lips; of warm hands big enough to –

“Books,” she murmured to herself as her eyes found the ornate wooden bookshelf tucked in a corner of the room. “Books. Good.” 

Shaking her head and squaring her shoulders, Rey got up from the bed, crossing the room in resolute steps. She stood in front of the bookshelf for a while, biting her lower lip as her eyes examined the golden lettering on the thick leather spines of dozens of luxurious volumes. 

Finally deciding on something about astronomy, she walked towards the aqua velvet couch in the sitting area, curling up against the armrest with the book on her lap.

It proved to be an efficient strategy. For thirty or forty minutes, she managed to lose herself in long descriptions of stars and constellations; of planets and meteorites and satellites and things she’d never heard of before.

Shooting stars, as it turned out, were nothing but incandescent rocks travelling at incredible speeds through the atmosphere.

No wonder they couldn’t grant wishes.

She felt her eyes sting at the thought, starting to consider that maybe that book hadn’t been the safest pick. Her suspicions were confirmed a moment later, when she turned the page to find a series of drawings.

Depictions of several different constellations were sprawled across the paper, but the little cluster of stars arranged in a zigzag seemed to attract her eyes like a magnet. She ran her forefinger over its shape, feeling warmth flood her eyes as stars disappeared and reappeared under her fingertip.

 _Lacerta_ , the tiny black lettering under the drawing read. 

Rey blinked several times, trying to coax the tears back into her tear ducts to no avail. When one of them escaped her left eye, trickling down her cheek, she drew in a big breath, making to close the book.

“Princess Kira?”

She gasped as she heard the voice, and her hands froze an inch away from slapping the book shut. Rey sat in silence for a long moment, wondering if she was imagining things, until she heard it again.

“Princess Kira? Are you there?”

Rey’s eyes followed the sound towards the flowing curtains that separated the room from the balcony, and she laid the book on the couch, standing up as silently as she could.

“Who’s there?” she asked, moving carefully towards the curtains, her eyes searching feverishly for anything she could use as a weapon.

“It’s Prince Benjamin.”

“It’s… what?” she murmured to herself, eyebrows knitted together as she pushed the moon-tinged curtains to the side.

Sure enough, there he was. Well, his head, at least. And the upper part of his torso. And his hands on the railing. It took Rey a second of stunned silence to realize he was hanging from the outer part of the low balustrade that encircled the balcony, standing on God knows what, his thick black hair swaying with the night breeze as he looked at her with _those_ eyes.

“What –” she stammered, the wind tugging at her flowy palazzo pants as she walked towards him. “What are you doing there?”

“I wanted to apologize,” the prince said quickly, as if trying to get the words out before he lost his nerve. “For yesterday. It was…” He swallowed, doing the _thing_ with his lips that made her want to avert her eyes. “My behavior was inappropriate. To say the least.”

“No, I mean, what are you doing _there_?” she asked in a scandalized whisper, bracing her hands on the balustrade, on either side of his. “Why didn’t you use the front door?”

“Oh, that,” he said, swallowing again. “Haven’t you left your room? My mother placed guards on your door so no one would disturb you.”

“And you decided the best course of action would be…” She couldn’t help but chuckle, looking down at him with an incredulous smile, hands braced on the railing. “What? Breaking into my room through the balcony?”

“I –” he stammered, looking down towards the ground before he looked back at her. “I mean, I obviously didn’t think this through.”

Rey laughed again, shaking her head as she took a step back.

“Well, at least come up. You’re giving me a headache just… dangling there like a… a _salami_.”

“I’m not _dangling_ ,” he said defensively as he pulled his body up and threw a leg over the railing. “My footing was pretty secure, thank you very much.”

“Did you _climb_ that wall? What is it, three stories high?”

“I mean,” he murmured with a shrug, glancing down before he turned to face her. “More like two and a half, I think.”

“And how did you…” Rey shook her head and crossed her arms, closing her eyes for a second to try and absorb the information. “It’s _high_. And it’s _dark._ ”

“Aren’t increased reflexes the first thing that comes with Wielding?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“Forgive me, princess, but that’s hard to believe after what you showed us yesterday,” he said, running his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. It made Rey realize he wasn’t wearing one of his immaculate velvet outfits, but a plain black shirt that looked a lot like pajamas. She didn’t allow her eyes to linger on his body too long, instead choosing to raise them back to his face.

“What does that have to do with reflexes?”

“Everything,” he shrugged, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black pants. “It’s hard to believe someone with that level of ability doesn’t have… that inkling, you know? That intuition telling you how to move and where to step. Don’t you ever feel like…” She could have sworn his eyes had darted down to her lips for a split second, but it was probably just a trick of the light. “Like sometimes your feet just move of their own accord to be where they need to be?”

The image of a scrawny nine-year-old girl climbing the walls of an abandoned marketplace in search of a home flashed before her eyes, and she shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“There you go,” he said with the triumphant look of someone who enjoyed being right. He looked a lot more like his usual self than he had the day before, Rey thought. It made something churn in her stomach. “That’s all there is to it.”

“Right,” she said, biting back a smile. “You didn’t have to risk your neck to apologize, though. You did nothing wrong. And I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It was… It was disrespectful to assume… Well, you know. And it obviously made you uncomfortable.”

“It didn’t,” she lied, and it was like he could see right through her.

“It did,” he stated simply. “And I apologize.”

“Well, apology accepted, if you accept mine,” she said, finally uncrossing her arms and letting them fall to her sides with a small shrug. “Was that all?”

“No,” the prince replied, a little too quickly. He stopped as soon as the word left his mouth, pressing his lips together for a moment. “I… I wanted to show you something.”

“Show me something?”

“A place,” he explained, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he looked down at her. “That I think you might like.”

“It’s…” she trailed off, wetting her lips. “It’s late.”

“It’s not nine yet. And it’s near. We’ll be back before Lady Loan.”

“How do you know she’s not here?” Rey asked, furrowing her brows.

“Because Hux wouldn’t shut up about it the entire afternoon,” he said matter-of-factly. “And because even I, a notorious failure when it comes to human interactions, could tell she was interested, too.”

“Well.” Rey shrugged, looking over her shoulder towards the big, empty bedroom. “Obviously, yeah. She’s gone.”

“Come with me, then.” His voice was soft, almost warm when he said it, and it made a small shudder ripple across Rey’s skin. She shrugged it off to the breeze. “It’ll be quick. You have my word.”

“Does it involve climbing down that wall?” she asked, jerking her head towards the railing.

“It should be no problem for you.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Do you trust me?”

Rey blinked several times, gaze fixed on the impossibly tall man standing in front of her. When she spoke, it was barely an exhale.

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

And of course she didn’t. She didn’t know him, for crying out loud. He was virtually a stranger, and still there was _something_ – something about the way the breeze whispered around her, as if telling her to go; something about the faint smell of jasmine in the air, not unlike the smell of Maz’s backyard; something about the way his deep-set eyes glimmered like those of a child while he eyed her expectantly – _something_ that made her feel like she knew him like the back of her hand.

“Sure,” is what her mouth chose to say as she stepped forward. He answered with a curl of the corners of his lips that resembled a smile.

“I’ll go first,” he said, swinging his leg over the balustrade as he spoke. “To spot you if you fall to your death.” 

And, despite the fact that it was a horribly timed joke – or maybe _because_ of the fact that it was a horribly timed joke – Rey couldn’t help barking out an embarrassing laugh.

“I don’t think I’m wearing the right shoes,” she said, still smiling as she looked down. The night below her was so dense she couldn’t even see the ground.

She could see him just fine, though, looking up at her from a few feet below, holding onto God knows what on the smooth walls of the palace.

“That won’t make a difference.”

“Right,” she mumbled, exhaling deeply as she swung her right leg over the ledge.

Surprisingly enough, she _didn’t_ plummet towards certain death. In fact, her feet and her hands seemed to find little nooks and crannies on the wall of their own accord – small dents, tiny ledges, irregularities on the bricks, little patches of ivy. Within no time, she’d already made herself at home, and she couldn’t bite back the triumphant smile on her face as she worked her way down the palace walls as fast as she did at the old abandoned marketplace.

“Hey, slow down. I’m bigger than you.”

“No shit,” she said with a grin. “Afraid of losing, Your Highness?

“No,” he scoffed. “Afraid of having to explain your death to my mother.”

“I thought this was perfectly safe.”

“If you’re careful, yes.”

“That’s not the information I – _Ah!_ ”

Her gasp drowned out the sound of the crickets as she lost her footing, slipping down towards what would certainly be a gruesome, painful, humiliating –

Something big and warm braced her fall from behind, and she felt her body melt into the solid mass pressed against her back. She stayed still for a long moment before she looked down to find his huge hands spanning the entirety of her partially exposed waist.

“I won,” he murmured, and his voice was so close to her ear it was like she could feel it in her flesh. Or maybe those were the goosebumps. Hard to tell. “And you’re lucky we were so close to the ground.”

And, wonder of wonders, they were _indeed_ on the ground, or at least Rey was sure she’d feel that way as soon as her legs stopped shaking. When he let go of her waist and took a step back, the once pleasant night breeze felt like an icy wind nibbling at her flushed skin.

“You said these shoes would be alright,” she murmured, turning around to find him staring down at her with one of his inscrutable expressions.

“And I stand corrected,” he replied, bending down to pick up a handheld gas lantern he’d apparently left on the ground.

“A rarity, I assume.”

“Yes,” he stated simply. She could almost swear there was a tiny smile on his lips when he turned around. “Come. I’ll lead the way.”

Rey smiled and shook her head as she followed him down the narrow stretch of grass that separated the palace walls to their right from the glistening lake to their left. There was a crescent moon in the sky, as Rey realized when she glanced over at the water; a thin sliver of silver inlaid into dark blue velvet, surrounded by glistening stars.

“The sky’s pretty tonight,” she said absentmindedly, watching Venus wink at her, brighter than any other light around it. The prince stopped dead in his tracks, turning his head slowly to look at her over his shoulder.

“What did you say?”

“The sky,” she said, pointing at the moon. “It’s pretty.”

For a long moment he just stared at her. She was starting to wonder if she’d accidentally said something incredibly offensive when he finally looked towards the lake. His profile looked striking like this, carved by the night in hues of black, silver and blue.

“It is,” he rasped, and she could see a muscle work on his jaw as he pressed his lips together. “It’s a pity we don’t have a full moon, though. Wouldn’t need this if we did.”

He raised the lantern as he said it, and Rey smiled, looking at his hand.

“You can’t always win. I mean.” She shrugged, throwing him a half smile even though he wasn’t looking anymore. “Not _you_ you. You obviously can, apparently.”

The prince huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as they reached an arch-shaped opening on the wall. He led her through it, starting to make his way down a stone walkway that let into what appeared to be a narrow passage.

“You don’t look like you like losing either,” he retorted, the sound of his heavy footsteps on stone merging with the symphony of crickets around them. “Pushed yourself pretty hard to win yesterday when you could have won with a flick of your finger.”

“Well. I…” Rey stammered, wetting her lips. “I came a long way to be here. And risked a lot.”

“You were scared,” he said, throwing her a quick glance over his shoulder. It wasn’t a question. “Why?”

She remained silent for a moment while they made their way through the narrow stone passage. To her surprise, it led them into a garden.

“Is this… is this what…” she stammered, unable to finish the sentence as she gaped at the tall, meticulously trimmed bushes that drew a complex mosaic around an exuberant central fountain.

“No. Not yet,” the prince answered, leading her around the fountain and down another stone walkway. “Are you trying to dodge the question?”

“No,” she replied. “I was… nervous, I think.” The sound of splashing water was oddly soothing. She drew in a big breath before she went on. “I don’t have any _real_ formal training. Not like the others. I wasn’t sure I could do it.”

“Do what? _Lift an apple_?” His voice sounded scandalized, and Rey almost walked right into his back when he stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. “Are you kidding me? Do you have _any idea_ how much that block you lifted weighs?” 

Rey just shrugged in response, doing her best to hold his gaze.

“You asked.”

The prince scoffed, and for the first time Rey noticed there was the slight hint of dimples on his cheeks when he almost-smiled like that.

“You don’t need formal training. You just need to trust yourself more.”

“I – what?”

“Trust. You don’t trust yourself,” he said matter-of-factly, turning back around and resuming his walk across the garden. “That’s the issue.”

Rey shook her head, mentally scolding her heart for threatening to beat its way out of her chest over a painfully mundane sentence thousands of people probably said every single day. 

They walked in silence for a moment, until they reached a side gate partially covered by the lush bindweed growing on the walls of the garden. The prince pushed it, and Rey could see the muscles of his arm flex under his thin black shirt as he did.

The rusty gate whined loudly as it drifted open, and Rey stared wide-eyed at the woods that unraveled before her eyes.

“Are you taking me into the woods?”

“Yes.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Only if you’re wise.”

And, yes, there it was, clear as day even in the chiaroscuro of the night: the ghost of dimples on his cheeks when he threw her the slightest of smirks. It made her stomach flutter uncomfortably, like it was full of… moths, or something. Rey did her best to ignore them, smirking back at him as she stepped into the forest.

The lantern was definitely needed here. Even though the trees were sparse, the lush canopy of leaves above their head was still dense enough to block most of the light of the stars. Rey could only tell the floor was covered in dry leaves because of the way they crunched under her feet, and because of the way her pants caught on them every now and then, making them rustle as she walked.

“Do you make a habit of taking late night strolls through the woods, Your Highness?”

There was a teasing edge to her voice she couldn’t seem to hold back, just like she couldn't control the amused smile on her lips when he threw her a glance over his shoulder.

“Should I lie and say no?”

“Only if you’re wise.”

His chuckle was deep like his voice and warm like the light illuminating his handsome face from below. It made Rey’s smile widen.

“You can call me Ben, by the way.”

She nodded, looking up at the leaf-shaped cutouts of the night sky above her head. And maybe it was the sense of peace and relaxation that the sight gave her, but her traitorous tongue almost replied, “Rey,” because apparently it thought it was the natural thing to say. Thankfully, her brain kicked in before disaster did.

“Kira.” 

“Nice to meet you, Kira.”

“Nice to meet you, Ben.”

Another stretch of comfortable silence fell between them, and Rey craned her neck to admire the lofty trees reaching towards the stars all around her.

“Here,” he finally said after a few minutes. “Watch out.”

The prince offered her his hand, and she took it, carefully stepping over a thick tangle of roots as they left the main trail to head down the narrow path he’d indicated with his head.

“Thank you,” Rey murmured, letting go of his hand and averting her eyes quickly. Maybe her skin would stop tingling if she just didn’t look at it, she thought. “Here?”

“Yeah,” he answered, and she saw him clench and unclench his fist rapidly in her peripheral vision. “Straight ahead.”

The trees were packed closer together here, so Rey kept her eyes on the ground to make sure she wouldn’t trip, lifting the hem of her pants. They couldn’t have walked more than two hundred feet when he spoke again.

“And this is it.”

When she raised her eyes, she realized they’d reached the edge of the tree line, and were now standing before what could only be described as something out of a dream. 

The ruins nestled in a secluded clearing of sorts, and, away from the dense leafy roof of the woods, the light of the stars managed to bathe their silhouette in silver and blue. It was hard to tell what they might have been. Some parts were nothing but walls or stone arches; others looked like partially collapsed rooms and corridors, varying greatly in size and height. Then again, maybe it didn’t matter, what they had been back when they belonged to men. Nature had reclaimed them as its own, so much so that the ivy, moss and bindweed crawling up the walls made it hard to tell the original shade of the stones.

“It’s,” Rey murmured, taking a few steps forward. Her eyes were wide as they roamed around the ruins, and she was pretty sure there were tears in them, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. “It’s… What _is_ this place?” 

“It used to be part of the West Wing of the palace,” Ben replied, walking past her to illuminate the way. “Destroyed during the war. Well, more parts of the palace were, but his one never got rebuilt.”

“Why?”

“They were my grandparents' chambers,” he answered, his footsteps muffled by the soft ivy carpet under his feet. “You coming?”

Only when he said that did Rey realize she was frozen in place, lagging several feet behind, so she hurried to catch up with him as he walked towards the ruins.

“But why didn’t it get rebuilt?” she insisted as they made their way through what appeared to be a collapsed corridor, its walls now covered in the dense foliage that had crawled through the narrow windows.

“Not sure.” Raising the lantern to his face, Ben pushed the foliage out of the way to reveal an opening leading into another room. He stepped to the side, keeping the leaves and branches out of Rey’s way until she followed him. “Maybe my mother thought the memories were too painful to revisit. I assume you know their story?”

“I… I do,” Rey murmured, gaping at the sight before her. She'd walked into a tall, circular room surrounded by long glassless windows. Its walls were mostly intact, but the ceiling had already collapsed, leaving nothing but its wooden structure behind. Nature had reclaimed it, too, and now thick foliage crawled up the walls and across the rotting wooden beams above their heads, some parts of it dangling down towards the floor like lush fresh-scented draperies.

“They say she died of a broken heart. My grandmother.” His voice was soft and low when he said that. Something in it made Rey turn around, only to find him still standing by the tunnel, watching her walk around the room.

“And is it true?”

Ben scoffed, throwing her a subtle smirk as he made his way towards the center of the room.

“The Sunset Queen losing her will to live because her husband fell to the dark? When she had two children she could have watched grow up? If she was anything like my mother – and I suspect that she was – I find it very unlikely.” He bent down as he spoke, setting the lantern down on what appeared to be some kind of round moss-covered platform. He sat down next to it, craning his neck to look at the ceiling. “But maybe that’s the kind of thought my mother wanted to avoid.”

“Or maybe she just wanted to give them another chance,” Rey said softly as she walked towards the platform and sat down facing the prince. “Let Naboo reclaim their memories for itself. Use their love to feed new life.”

“Keep them alive in a different form?” 

Rey stared at him for a moment, something moving uncomfortably in her chest as she watched the warm light of the lantern dance across his eyes.

“Something like that. Yeah.”

Ben swallowed as he nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

“It could be.”

“And why did you want me to see it?”

Again, he just stared at her for a long moment, rolling his jaw while he contemplated her question.

“I don’t want to offend you again,” he said carefully. “But, as you know, you… remind me of someone. And I’ve always thought she’d love it here.”

“Well, I love it,” Rey replied with a kind smile, trying to ignore the odd, cold weight lodged in the pit of her stomach. “It’s beautiful. And peaceful. Like something out of a dream.”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a nod. “I used to spend a lot of time here when I was younger.”

“You don’t anymore?”

“Not really,” he answered, his eyes darting to the ground. “Not for a while. But I wanted to show it to you before you left.”

“Before I left?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, furrowing his brows as he raised his eyes to meet hers. “I figured that would be soon. Since you did me the immense favor of blowing this stupid contest right out of the water,” he added with a nonchalant shrug. “Thank you, by the way.”

Rey couldn’t help chuckling. She hugged her knees to her chest as she tried to read his face.

“You’re glad I blew your fancy birthday party?”

It was his turn to chuckle, shaking his head.

“I have no idea what my mom was thinking. She wanted me to… make friends, I guess? It was the weirdest thing, the idea came out of the blue and she was so adamant about it. And Palpatine was on her side, which made it worse.”

“He’s…” Rey murmured, tucking a tendril of hair behind her ear. “Governor Palpatine, he’s…”

“Creepy?”

“You’re saying it, not me,” Rey laughed, raising an eyebrow. “But… yeah. Kinda gives me the chills. A little bit.”

“Mom’s not his biggest fan, either,” Ben replied, bracing his body on his right arm as he picked a small flower from the ground. “But he’s… you know. His family’s as traditional as it gets, they’ve had a seat in the Council for centuries, yada yada. Politics. You know the drill.”

“Yeah.” Rey swallowed hard, averting her eyes for a moment. “And did it work?”

“What?”

“Your mother’s plan? Did you make friends?”

Ben scoffed at that, staring at the tiny flower as he spun it between his long fingers.

“With whom? Vicrul? That walking, talking waste of oxygen?”

It was Rey’s own laughter that rang across the ruins this time. The sound was weirdly calming in the quiet of the night; bright and warm against the dimly lit darkness that surrounded them.

“He sucks.”

“Yeah. They all do. So, no, no friends. I don’t… I don’t tend to like people very much.”

“You liked her.” Rey had no idea where the words had come from, but they fell from her mouth before she could think better of it. “The girl you wanted to bring here.”

“No,” the prince said, furrowing his brows, eyes still fixed on the flower between his fingers. “I loved her.” He raised his eyes to her, then, and there was a rawness in them that seemed to tug directly at Rey’s stomach. “I didn’t know it back then, but looking back it’s… yeah.”

And for some weird, unexplainable reason, some sort of ugly, green thing roared in Rey’s chest, making her look away. Her eyes were staring at the patches of starry sky peeking through the foliage-covered remains of the roof, but she wasn’t truly seeing anything when she spoke again.

“What happened?”

“She disappeared.”

“Like,” Rey murmured, a furrow forming between her brows as she lowered her eyes back to his face. “She ghosted you?”

There was no humor in Ben’s dry chuckle, nor did his smile reach his eyes as he shook his head.

“That’s a very appropriate way to put it.”

“It happened to…” Rey stopped, once again catching herself before she said the wrong thing. “It happened to Loan. She was seeing this guy, and then all of a sudden he… started acting like they’d never happened or something? Like they’d never been more than friends? I don’t know, it was the weirdest thing.”

“I’m sorry that happened to her.”

“Well,” Rey shrugged, throwing him a side smile. “I don’t think she _loved_ him though. So don’t worry, you’re still winning the heartbreak Olympics, Mr. Unbeatable.”

The amused glint in his eyes was probably the first thing she noticed. Illuminated by the warm, flickering light of the lantern, they sparkled as he heard her words. Unguarded like this, they almost looked like…

Sweet, golden honey.

The smile was the second thing. It was wide and bright and… dimpled. In fact, she could even see a faint blush spreading across the deep grooves that had formed on his cheeks.

And then his hand shot towards his hair almost instinctively, as if searching for something to keep occupied. He ran his fingers through it, inadvertently exposing one of his ears in the process. It looked bright red against jet-black.

Rey had no recollection of having jumped to her feet, but she must have, because she was standing up now, panting heavily as her blood roared in her ears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, moving to stand up. The concern in his hazel eyes was so palpable it made her eyes sting.

Way too close. Way too familiar.

“Nothing, I –” she stammered, licking her lips to try and ease the painful dryness in her mouth. “I just remembered Loan should be back at any minute now.”

“They’ll be gone for a while, I think,” he said softly, inching closer. “It’s okay.”

“No, I should –” And, oh, was it hard to formulate a sentence with her head spinning like that. “I should be there when she comes back. And I should rest, too. It was a long day.”

Ben rolled his jaw as he stared at her, and maybe his eyes looked a little shinier than usual when he nodded. Or maybe it was the tears trying to fight their way out of her own eyes. Hard to tell.

“Okay. I’ll take you back.”

“Thank you,” she rasped, turning around and walking towards the stone passage before he had a chance to say anything else.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, OK, I know some of you are really frustrated with Rey, but I just feel like denial is such a huge part of her characterization in canon. It's almost like the way she deals with her feelings is the polar opposite of the way Ben deals with his. He feels too much, there's this turmoil inside him all the time that he can't seem to silence, so he overthinks; he lashes out; he spirals into self-loathing and paranoia. Rey, on the other hand, tries to bury all the pain and all the trauma behind a sunny façade, lying to herself, going into deep denial about the things that hurt the most (her parents, for example). I really like that aspect of their dynamic, actually. It's just one of the many ways they balance each other: she can only admit and share her trauma and her loneliness with him, and he can only find peace of mind with her. And that's another thing I hate, hate, HATE about TRoS: it's like we only see the sunny, light, perfect version of Rey. The façade, not the pain underneath. That's obviously my interpretation of their characterization, but it's what I used for this story. Don't worry, though! We'll see that denial crumbling. 
> 
> And speaking of denial crumbling... You guys have watched Aladdin, right? So you know when the kiss happens, don't you? =)
> 
> See you tomorrow, fam! Love your faces! <3


	11. Back to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by [This Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWIMNAeGva4), Taylor Swift. Actually, who am I kidding? This entire dumpster fire of a fic brought to you by This Love, Taylor Swift. 
> 
> HUGE shoutout to THE QUEEN, [yellowlightsaber](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowlightsaber/pseuds/yellowlightsaber/works) , who accepted to beta this chapter and help me make sure it felt the way I wanted it to feel. You da best, hoe <3 
> 
> If you like fairy tales, she just started an *amazing* [Tangled AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23200255), so go check it out!

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

They’d walked their way back to the lake in complete silence, so Ben’s voice startled Rey when she heard it.

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

When he stopped and turned around, it took her a moment to realize he hadn’t done it to look at her, but because they’d reached their destination.

He _was_ looking at her, though, and his eyes hadn’t reverted back to their dark, stoic indifference. In fact, they were glimmering as they scanned her face, brimming with concern. The sight made her head turn towards the star-studded surface of the dark lake.

“Was it something I said? Because I know sometimes I can –”

And Rey couldn’t _stand it –_ this raw, vulnerable tenderness in his voice, so clearly meant for someone else _–_ so she interrupted him, shaking her head as she forced herself to meet his gaze.

“No. No, you didn’t… I’m just tired. That’s all.”

He nodded in agreement, working his jaw as his eyes shot down towards the ground.

“Okay, well… You go first. I’ll be right behind you. If you… if you slip.”

“Okay,” she murmured before she approached the wall, feeling for any indentations she could use to start her climb.

Rey didn’t slip this time. At first she was afraid she might, but it actually felt good, having something to focus on. She just had to empty her head; concentrate on her hands and feet; on the cold stone against her skin and nothing more. It caused the tension in her chest to dissipate a bit – only a tiny bit, but enough to let her breathe. On pulling herself up over the stone balustrade, she could almost pretend that an old gaping wound hadn’t cracked open in her chest.

Almost.

“That was good,” Ben said, swinging his leg over the railing. Rey took a deep breath before she turned around to face him with a tight smile. “Guess it means the shoes were alright, after all.”

She let out a small chuckle, unaware of the fact that she was hugging herself until she looked down and found her arms wrapped around her middle, almost as if trying to hold her body together for a minute longer.

“Yeah. I’ll issue an official statement saying you were right.”

Ben laughed at that, but it didn’t reach his eyes, nor did it make his cheeks dimple and blush. For some reason, it made Rey’s eyes burn.

“Well, I guess it’s… goodnight, then.”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Thank you for… for the walk.”

“It’s okay. Do you… do you need anything? Are you… comfortable? Is the room okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah, it’s,” Rey stammered. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“And Rose? Does she like it?”

That made her scoff and shake her head, smiling fondly at her feet.

“God, she won’t _shut up_ about how soft the beds are, this morning I literally had to –”

And then it hit her like she’d just walked face-first into a brick wall.

“What-” Rey murmured, raising her eyes to meet his. “What did you call her?”

She found him standing in silence, lips parted, eyes glimmering as the night breeze tugged at his hair.

“It _is_ you.”

His murmur was so low that, hadn’t her skin tingled at the sound, she might have mistaken it for the wind rustling the leaves around the balcony. 

“What did you call her?” she demanded again. There was a teary edge to her voice now, courtesy of the hot lump in her throat.

“Rey,” he whispered, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he took a step forward. By pure instinct, she responded by taking a step back.

She stood in silence, frozen in place, her heart beating so furiously in her ears she could barely hear the sound of her denial crumbling.

“Rey,” he repeated as he took another step towards her, eyes brimming with unshed tears. Her name sounded like something sacred on his tembling lips. “It’s me.”

“It’s not you.” It was a broken whisper, so low and feeble she could barely hear it herself.

“Rey, It’s… it’s me.”

“It can’t be you,” she insisted, shaking her head as hot tears trickled down her cheeks, burning her skin. “It can’t be you.”

A dry sob shook her entire body when she said that, causing her face to twist into a pained frown. She could barely squeeze any sound through the tears in her throat when she whispered, “If it’s you, it – it means you lied to me.”

And there it was – the knife-sized splinter lodged in her heart that she’d tried to ignore from the moment she’d locked eyes with him in that reading room. The one that had been making her heart sting, ache and bleed for the past few days – the one causing this pain she’d desperately tried to numb with gargantuan doses of blind denial.

A knife-sized splinter she’d just yanked out of her heart with nothing to numb the pain.

“You _lied_ to me.”

The words fell from her mouth in a tortured, broken cry, as something one would expect to hear from a wounded animal. Her eyes were wounded, too, locked with his yet unable to see him through the thick layer of tears. 

“I never lied to you,” Ben whispered, working his jaw as he inched closer to her. “ _Never._ ”

“You’re the prince. _The prince_!” Her voice was veiled by tears, too, so she made a hasty effort to dry them on the back of her hand. “Why didn’t… why didn’t you… I told you _everything_. You knew _everything_ about me – about Plutt, and Rose, and Maz, and… and _my parents_ … Why didn’t you –” She stopped talking when another sob ripped through her chest, making her shoulders shake.

“Because you looked at me,” Ben murmured. His face came into focus as the water pooling in her eyes streamed down her cheeks, and he was close enough now for her to see the tears in his eyes, too. “At _me_. Not… not my title, not my crown, not my bloodline, not a set of expectations, _not this_.” He raised his hands as he said the last words, palms turned to her so there would be no mistaking what he was referring to.

“You looked at _me_. And you smiled at me, and you laughed, and your nose crinkled when you teased me, and I –” He swallowed when his voice broke, pressing his lips together before he went on. “I didn’t want to lose that. I didn’t want to lose _you_. E-even… Even if you were only in my head.”

His last words came out in a pained whisper that slid down Rey’s skin, making her entire body ache.

“Who’s Kylo?” she asked, her voice little more than a broken murmur. Ben pressed his lips again, a tear painting a pale track down his cheek.

“Someone else. I thought you’d like me better if I were someone else.”

“There’s nothing,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Nothing you could have told me that would have changed the way I looked at you.”

A long stretch of silence followed Rey's words, so thick that, if she listened closely enough, she would probably have been able to hear the beat of his heart amongst the sound of crickets, whispering water and rustling leaves.

“I waited,” she finally muttered. A quivering sigh followed as she tried to swallow her tears. “You said you’d be back, and I waited, and you…”

Another weep shook her shoulders, and her lips were quick to press together to try and muffle it.

It wasn’t fair, of course. Rey _knew_ that it wasn’t fair – that, just like her, Ben had no control over this weird bond of theirs. She knew it, and still the words kept falling from her lips, pushed out by years of pent up hurt, longing and loneliness.

“I can’t tell you how many hours I sat alone in those ruins,” Ben whispered, his lips glistening with tears. “Trying… trying to reenact the first day we met. Trying to do everything the same, trying to –”

His voice broke again when he looked down at Rey. When he shook his head, the movement made another tear stream down his face.

“I tried, Rey. I tried for months. _Years_. Until I finally had to accept that… That you…”

Ben didn’t finish the sentence, but Rey didn’t need him to. Inside her head, the memories of her own attempts trickled like the first raindrops of a brewing storm, making the wound in her heart throb and bleed. In fast succession, she relived everything. 

Longing. Anxiety. Fear. Pain. Sleepless nights, endless days, shattered hopes. _Everything._

And then, finally, it twisted in her chest like a hot knife - the gaping loneliness that had threatened to swallow her whole when she’d finally accepted he'd been nothing but a beautiful dream. 

_Alone._ She’d never felt so alone.

“You’re not alone,” Ben whispered, almost as if he could feel the memory playing back inside her head. And maybe he could, because, a moment after he said the words, the loneliness inside of her became excruciating. It felt as if someone had reached into her chest, cranked it up and made it double in size, and the pressure made it almost impossible to breathe.

Rey soon realized that it wasn’t just _her_ loneliness, though. Half of it felt exactly like hers – cold, damp, dark, and hopeless. It felt so similar, in fact, that she could have easily mistaken it for her own hadn’t it been colored in the warm, golden shade of _him_.

Ben was _showing_ her, she realized. Showing her the kind of pain words couldn’t express, and it made her chin quiver as she drew in a deep breath.

“Neither are you.”

Her gaze strayed down to his lips for a split second. When it drifted back up to his eyes, she found them wet and pleading.

“May I –” Ben murmured, swallowing before he went on. “May I touch you? Please?”

Rey nodded - a small, almost imperceptible sign of her consent, but Ben understood. He swallowed again, wetting his lips as his eyes strayed downwards.

She shivered when the tips of his fingers brushed the back of her hands – a soft, barely there touch, but enough to raise goosebumps throughout her entire body. Slowly, he dragged his fingertips up her arms, caressing her skin with a featherlight touch that stretched all the way up to her shoulders. When he looked up at her face again, his eyes were lit up like embers in the half-light. He sighed softly, and then his right hand reached down, searching for her left one. Rey shivered again when Ben interlaced their fingers, not unlike he’d done all those years ago, and it took her right back to that night. The difference was that his hand dwarfed hers now that they were adults, but it still felt just as warm and gentle. His touch was even gentler when he brought his other hand up to her face, cupping her cheek, and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with his thumb. Her eyes darted down to his mouth as he leaned in, and for a glorious moment her eyelids fluttered shut, waiting for the feel of his lips on hers.

It never came.

Ben’s mouth pressed gently to her left cheek instead, making her heart stutter inside her chest. He held the kiss for a moment – maybe a second, maybe a day – his right hand squeezing her fingers as if to make sure that he could still do it.

“I never got to kiss you back,” he whispered against her skin.

Something that hung between a sigh and a sob escaped her chest when she screwed her eyes shut, frowning as a fresh tear rolled down her face.

“I missed you,” she choked out, only mildly aware of the fact that her right hand had crawled up his arm and that her fingers were digging into his biceps. “I missed you _so much_.”

“I missed you, too,” he replied, his voice deep and velvety against her cheek.

When he pulled away slowly, Rey opened her eyes to find him looking at her again, his face so close she could feel his warm breath on her skin. Never breaking his gaze, she untangled their interlaced fingers gently, raising both hands to his face; feeling his fingers tremble ever so slightly as he brought his own hands down to her waist and grazed the exposed skin of her midriff with his thumbs. Her fingers were also trembling when she touched his hair hesitantly. It felt as soft as it looked, and she drew in a deep breath before she cupped his face, scared that he might vanish into thin air the second she touched him.

He didn’t.

In fact, he felt so warm and soft and _real_ against her skin she couldn’t help the teary smile that formed on her lips.

“You’re real.”

Her heart fluttered when he smiled back – a small, subtle curve of his lips that made her feel like the fifteen year old girl who'd realized she loved him beneath a star-studded aisle painted onto the night sky.

“You’re real, too.”

And looking at him like this, his face stained with tears and his eyes glimmering with hope, it was unthinkable that she’d ever tried to convince herself that this _wasn’t_ him, because she knew every inch of this face.

His eyes, his nose, his mouth, the dimples on his cheeks – they weren’t exactly the same as she remembered, but somehow she knew them _all_. Most of all, she knew the way he _felt;_ this warm, peaceful, hallowed silence that came with his presence and his presence alone.

Rey knew the way he felt, and she knew that nothing in the world would ever feel the same, because he felt like coming home.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, and the tears were back in her voice and in her eyes. “I’m – I’m _so sorry_ I didn’t –”

“Shhh,” he said, his fingers tightening ever so slightly around her waist as he leaned in. Their foreheads were mere inches away when he spoke again. “Don’t. Just… just be with me.” When his eyes locked with hers, they were so close that she could see the golden specks that tinged them amber. “ _Stay._ ”

Her fingers were still trembling when they grazed his cheeks tentatively. She looked at him for a long moment, breathing heavily, her eyes flickering across each detail of his face. Ben waited patiently, hands now feather light on her waist - a subtle touch meant simply to tell her he was there.

For a second, the air around them seemed to go still, as if anticipating something important. Maybe it was foreshadowing the moment when resolve replaced hesitancy in Rey’s hands, making her pull Ben’s face down and push up on her toes at the same time.

And she could have had many grandiose, fancy thoughts the moment they kissed. She could have thought about the way all the stars seemed to have aligned at the same time; the way the entire universe seemed to have stopped to watch them; the way a luminous flux of energy seemed to flow between them, with no beginning and no end, a never ending circle of light and warmth tethering their bodies. She could have thought about the universe, the Force, the meaning of life, fate, luck. But, as Ben pressed his lips to hers with a little more force than he had to, all Rey could think about was how soft they felt.

His gentle hold on her waist tightened the second their lips touched, but his body didn’t move, preserving the narrow distance between them.

It was Rey who broke the kiss after a long moment, hands lingering on his face, eyes burning as they locked with his.

“ _Ben._ ”

She smiled as she said his name, and he returned the smile again, except this time it was wide and bright, all dimples and teeth and honey. Her hands slid slowly to the sides of his neck, and then to his wide shoulders, finally settling on his chest.

Distracted by his eyes, she only noticed his left hand had ended up on the nape of her neck when his thumb caressed the delicate skin behind her ear, raising goosebumps up and down her arms. 

“ _Rey._ ”

Ben was the one to close the distance between them the second time. The ghost of a smile was still lingering on his lips when he pressed them to hers, and his hand on her waist felt heavier than it had before when he pulled her to his body, but Rey didn't mind the increased pressure.

In fact, it felt good. It felt _glorious_ , having him hold her like he'd never let her go and _knowing_ the touch was meant for her, so she stayed still for a long moment, hands on his chest, feeling his heart thunder against her palms.

It seemed to last forever, this delicate stillness, but it also seemed to break like a spell the second she tightened her grip on his shirt, nails scraping his chest. It must have been that, because that was the exact moment he yanked her towards him and slid his fingers into her hair, finally obliterating the space between their bodies. 

The increased proximity made her sigh against his mouth, tracing her fingers down his chest and torso and reveling in the feel of solid muscle under her fingertips. Her hands wandered aimlessly until they ended up on the sides of his ribcage, and she barely registered the way they fisted into his shirt to pull him even closer. When her fingernails grazed his skin through the thin black fabric again, Ben sighed, too, parting his lips in the process.

Rey only realized her tongue had gone looking for his when they found each other, because the taste that invaded her mouth was unlike anything she’d ever felt. He tasted sweet and minty, hot and fresh at the same time as he slid his tongue against hers, and she couldn’t help the low moan that escaped her throat.

The sound seemed to flip _something_ inside him. It must have, because the next thing she knew he was pressing his mouth further into hers, his right hand kneading at her hip, lips bruising as they worked over hers in a frantic rhythm.

“Rey,” he panted against her lips, nibbling and sucking as he pulled her body closer to his. “Rey, you –”

It felt good, hearing the sound of her name fall from his lips. His taste felt even better, though, so Rey claimed his mouth in full again, pulling his head down to her with her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers tangled in his hair.

Desperate to drink every last drop, she _tugged_ , and that seemed to be the exact moment when he lost it.

She heard a feral growl vibrate against her mouth, and then felt him move. The next thing she knew, her back was pressed against a nearby pillar, trapped between the warmth of his body and the coolness of solid marble. 

Her fingers were still tangled in his hair when he started to kiss his way down her chin and neck, nibbling and licking. His breath felt scorching every time he panted in between kisses, clearly desperate to make his mark on her skin.

“ _Ben - Ah!_ ”

When he wedged his right leg between her thighs, pinning her in place, she gasped, because that’s when she _felt_ it. 

He was rock-hard inside his pants. So hard, in fact, that she could feel every inch of him as he grinded against her upper thigh, making the thin fabric of her trousers ride slowly up her leg.

“Rey, I… _Shit_ , I –” Ben chuffed, sucking his way up the column of her throat. “I thought about you. So much. Every day. I couldn’t – _Shit!_ ”

“Inside,” was all Rey managed to choke out through the pressure of his lips on her windpipe. “Ben, let’s – _Ah!_ ”

She didn’t have to say it twice. 

In one swift movement, two rock-solid arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, and Ben lifted her effortlessly, reclaiming her mouth as soon as her feet left the ground.

It felt _glorious_ , having her entire body pressed to his like that, her arms gripped tightly around his neck - so glorious that she barely noticed it when her shoes fell from her dangling feet.

In her defense, it was hard to care about frivolities like shoes, time and space when his tongue was licking into her mouth like that; when his lips were nibbling and sucking on hers until the wet heat in her lower abdomen leaked down her thighs, leaving them sticky and shaking. In fact, it was so hard to remember the world existed that Rey was startled when he bent over, laying her down on the bed.

Her eyes flew open to find Ben standing up, drifting away from her, and she pushed up on her elbows, desperate to follow him. It made his hands fly back to her waist, and he leaned over her again, pressing a bruising kiss to her swollen lips.

“Stay,” he rasped against her mouth. “Stay still for me.”

Rey would argue that it was shock, more so than compliance, that made her obey. Whatever the case might be, she stayed there propped on her elbows, legs dangling from the edge of the mattress as she watched him stand up.

Ben looked impossibly tall like this, seen from below; miraculously broader and stronger, if that was even possible. The sight of him made her pant, painfully aware of the throbbing between her legs now that his warmth was gone.

His lips looked even more tempting, too. Glistening from their kiss, they were red and swollen when he parted them, looking at her as if he’d die if he dared tear his eyes away.

When the silence stretched and it became obvious that whatever it was that he was going to do had completely slipped his mind, Rey squirmed anxiously, rubbing her thighs together.

“Ben?” 

When she said his name, Ben's eyes were fixed on her breasts. They darted to her face immediately, locking with hers and allowing her to see a bit of self-consciousness peeking through the blatant lust.

“Right. Sorry, I…” he stammered, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Now that his mouth wasn’t latched onto her skin and his erection wasn’t grinding against her thigh, a lot more thoughts seemed to be going through his mind. “I… have you ever –”

“No,” she said. Her shoulders tensed as she braced herself for his answer. “You?”

By the confused frown on his face, she might as well have asked him if he’d ever been to the moon.

“No.”

“Oh,” she mouthed, nodding as the green monster in her chest purred. “Okay. Can we… I mean, do you want to…”

Ben stared at her for a long moment, jaw locked and fists clenched. There was hesitation in his eyes, so palpable that it made a heavy weight plummet to the pit of her stomach.

“It’s okay.” Her voice sounded feebler than she would have liked it to. “If you don’t want to.”

“No,” he spurted out, shaking his head as he took a step towards her. “No that’s not… Fuck, Rey, I haven’t thought about anything else since –”

“Then what’s wrong?”

He looked like he was in physical pain when he wiped his hand down his face, exhaling a quivering breath.

“I-I don’t…” he stuttered, swallowing thickly. “I don’t know if… I mean, there are… appropriate ways of… It wouldn’t be proper of me to –”

“Ben?” Rey couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips when she saw the obvious beet-red blush creeping up his neck. “Are you proposing to me?”

“No!” His eyes widened as he shook his head, blush reaching his cheeks. “No, I mean, I’m not _not_ proposing, I’m just –”

While Ben stuttered his way through whatever it was that he was trying to say, Rey sat up, pulled her satiny bandeau top over her head unceremoniously and tossed it to the side.

That seemed to shut him up, but it also seemed to break him, because he just opened and closed his mouth several times without emitting any sound. 

“You’re overthinking again,” she said, cocking her head. “Remember when we talked about overthinking?”

“It was seven years ago.”

“So you _don’t_ remember?”

Ben furrowed his brows as he looked down at her, reaching out to trace her jawline with the tips of his fingers.

“I remember every single word you’ve ever said to me.”

“Good,” Rey whispered, smiling as he dragged his thumb across her lips. “So come back here.”

He lost his balance when she tugged at his shirt, and braced his fall by digging his closed fist next to her hip, into the silky sheets. His other hand stayed on her face, fingers wrapping gently around her chin as he smiled. Having her lips this close again seemed to wipe all thoughts of royal etiquette and protocol from his mind, because Ben grunted before he captured her lips again, sliding his tongue into her mouth with a soft sigh. Rey worked clumsily on helping him take off his shirt, and then scooted back towards the intricately carved headboard of the king-sized bed. Panting, she wet her lips, watching his muscles ripple under his skin as he toed off his boots and crawled after her.

Admittedly, she was ogling his chest when he knelt between her legs and cupped her face. It took her a long moment, but, when she finally raised her eyes to his, she found them glistening.

“I missed you,” he whispered. “God, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” she murmured, smiling brightly as she drew soft lines on the naked skin of his broad chest.

Leaning in, Ben lowered his hands to her neck, caressing her pulse point. With another smile, he closed the distance between them, kissing her slowly and deeply as if determined to engrave her taste on his tongue. While he licked lazily into her mouth, he started to work on tugging her pants and underpants down her legs. Rey held onto his shoulders to avoid breaking the kiss, raising her hips to assist him, and shivered when the cool night air licked the wetness between her thighs.

He broke the kiss to toss her clothes to the side, and his lips parted as his eyes travelled down her body. Being that naked and that exposed in front of him made Rey remember something.

“Ben. Rose, she might –”

Still gaping at the glimmering wetness between her parted legs, Ben flicked his fingers absentmindedly, making the door lock click shut.

“Ben!” Rey said with a smile, swatting his shoulder. “What if she –”

“They’ve been gone for two hours now,” he rasped, bringing his hands to the sides of her neck again, thumbs tilting her chin up. “She’s not coming back tonight.”

Rey opened her mouth to _beg to differ,_ but he saw it as an opportunity to slide his tongue back into it, and soon enough she couldn’t think about anything else.

“Your turn,” she mumbled against his lips, splaying both hands across his chest and pushing him gently. When he toppled back, he landed on his back and braced the fall on his elbows, gaping up at her as she knelt between his legs. She planted soft kisses on his parted lips as she slid her hands down, making quick work of his pants before she tossed them to the side.

Looping her arms around his neck to make him sit up, Rey deepened the kiss, causing Ben to moan into her mouth. The sound rippled across her body, giving her the boost of confidence she needed to crawl onto his lap and straddle him.

“May I?” she whispered, nibbling self-consciously at her lower lip. “So I can… go slow?”

His hands felt scorching as he ran them up and down her spine; so big that they spanned her whole back.

“Of course,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers and nuzzling her nose. “Whatever you want. Whatever you need.”

Looking into his eyes, she carded her hands through his hair and lifted her hips, searching for him.

It didn’t take long.

They both gasped when the head of his cock rubbed against her, parting her folds. She stayed still for a second, panting against his mouth, and he just waited, caressing her back gently.

After a few moments, she tried to lower her hips, but the nudge of his tip at her entrance made her wince in pain.

“Hey,” he breathed, kissing the corner of her mouth. She could feel his muscles tense as he resisted the urge to push into her. “Shhh. We don’t… we don’t have to –”

“I want to,” she said, leaning back to look at him. “I think I just have to…”

Looking down, she positioned herself so that the length of his cock was standing flat against her slit, and then she swayed her hips, grinding against him.

“ _Ah,_ ” he grunted, his eyes fixated on her folds as they parted around his cock. “Rey _. Fuck_.”

Short pants and low sighs fell from Rey’s lips as she grinded against his warm skin, filling up the silence of the night. It wasn’t long, however, before she let out a loud moan, consequence of a particularly vigorous sway of her hips that made the red, swollen head of his cock nudge her clit.

With her head thrown back, she only realized Ben had leaned forward when his lips were wrapped around her pebbled nipple, licking and sucking it into his mouth.

Rey had never thought of her nipples as being particularly sensitive. In fact, she’d never thought much about her breasts at all. When she needed to relieve herself, it would usually be a quick venture of her hands between her thighs when she was alone at home, fueled by vague, faceless fantasies of being held by strong arms. 

So perhaps it was his mouth, or maybe the fact that the wetness between her legs wouldn’t stop building up with each thrust of her hips, but her breasts were throbbing with pleasure now, making her moan, writhe and tug mercilessly at his hair.

Ben kept his right hand splayed across her back, and his left one travelled to her other nipple. When he pulled on it, she let out a cry, digging her nails into his scalp.

“Is it okay?” he murmured, kissing her sternum. She nodded feverishly, teeth sinking into her lower lip.

“Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he breathed before his mouth went back to her nipple and sucked on it, making her hips buck violently.

And it was a combination of factors – a long, vigorous drag of his glans over her clit; a sharp graze of his teeth on her nipple; the prickle of his light stubble on the underside of her breast – that pushed her over the edge.

When she came, she came with her clit pressed to the head of his cock, shuddering and crying out his name. He worked her through it patiently, nibbling on one of her nipples and rolling the other one between his thumb and his finger, his breath scorching and ragged against her skin.

Rey stayed there on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, feeling him press gentle kisses to the freckles on her shoulders as the fluttering of her walls slowly subsided. After a minute or two, she nuzzled his hair, lowering her head to plant a soft peck under his ear.

“Is it okay if I try again?”

“You don’t have to,” he murmured, raising his head to meet her eyes. “I can just –”

“I want to.” 

Ben stared at her for a long moment before he nodded and pressed a soft peck to her lips.

Rey continued to kiss him as she raised her hips and reached between them to find him. It wasn’t long before her fingers wrapped around the base of his shaft, and she felt his shoulders tense under her left arm as she guided him, lining his tip with her entrance.

It only felt like a pinch this time around. In fact, she was so wet and he was so coated in pre-cum that his head slid in easily; so easily that she didn’t stop until the stretch became slightly uncomfortable again.

When she let go of his shaft, looping her arm around his strong shoulders again, Rey could feel the tension of his muscles. He was clearly struggling to keep his hips from bucking forward, so she lowered her hips another inch as she pressed her forehead to his.

“ _Ah,_ ” she cried out, furrowing her brow. 

“Rey, just take your – _Oh, shit!_ ”

She managed to go lower this time, and at first this newfound fullness still felt oddly sharp. Luckily, it didn’t last long. She stopped for another moment, breathing in his scent with each panting breath she took, and the lingering pain slowly subsided, going duller and more distant until it was little more than a phantom throbbing.

“Fuck, Rey,” Ben cursed, pressing his nose against her cheek, his fingers digging into her waist. “ _Fuck_ , you feel so good.”

His words slid right between her legs, making her walls relax even further around him, throbbing and fluttering. It gave her the nerve to pump her hips up and down again, managing to take even more of him.

She kept going like that for a while: up and down, dipping lower each time, taking small breaks every now and then to adjust to his size.

And his size, she quickly learned, was _a lot_.

Rey had nothing to compare it to, but, taking everything Rose had ever told her into consideration, she just knew this wasn’t the norm. Feeling this _full_ , like he was stretching her to her limit; feeling like she could burst if she tried to take another inch but also like she’d die if she didn’t get more of him, all at the same time.

Ben's growls grew more desperate every time her body moved, and soon enough he was sucking on her nipple again, dragging his tongue flat against its sensitive tip.

“Fuck, Ben, that feels so good,” she moaned, tugging at his hair when she finally felt him fully sheathed inside of her. His hands were shaking around her hips, and he exhaled a quivering breath against her breast.

“I was so confused,” he said, nibbling her nipple and causing her to writhe on his lap. His voice was so deep, so hoarse and so soaked with lust that it was almost unrecognizable. “When I saw you. In the reading room. You _felt_ like you, and your freckles, and your eyes, they were all – _Ah!”_ He growled when she swayed her hips, his fingers digging even deeper into her skin. “But you were… Fuck, Rey _your body_. I just wanted to fuck you so bad.”

“You can fuck me now,” she whispered, feeling the muscles of his upper back tense under her hands. “If you want to.”

Ben raised his head slowly, and his eyes were hazy with lust when they locked with hers. Rey brushed a tendril of sweat-drenched hair away from his face, cupping his cheek in the process. When his fingers tensed on her hips, she nodded, silently telling him to go on.

Carefully, he slid his hands to cup her ass, lifting her up an inch and flexing his hips slowly as he lowered her. She moaned with a glorious mix of pain and pleasure, making him squeeze his eyes shut.

“It’s okay,” she breathed, pressing her torso to his chest. “It feels good.”

He winced at her words, which caused her to frown and weave her fingers through his hair.

“Are you okay? Is it… Do I feel –”

“I’m trying so hard not to come right now.” 

Rey smiled as the tension on her shoulders dissipated. “Let go,” she whispered, brushing her lips against the shell of his ear. “Just fuck me.”

Ben drew in a deep breath as she said that. Turning his head, he pressed his lips to her neck as he lifted her up again, a little higher this time. When he pushed into her, the sensation went deeper, and Rey bit her lower lip to suppress the loud moan that threatened to escape. 

He did it once, twice, three times, until any discomfort was gone and all Rey could feel was this blissful fullness every time he lowered her onto his full length, his grasp firm and bruising on her ass.

She gasped when his rhythmic thrusting became more frantic, and the impact caused her spine to arch of its own volition, making her lean back and hold onto his ankles. The new position meant her neck wasn’t accessible to him anymore. Her breasts, however, were bouncing right within reach of his lips, so Ben sucked her nipple into his mouth again, licking and nibbling sloppily as he buried himself in her to the hilt with each feverish thrust.

That’s when Rey realized that, yes, her nipples were probably pretty sensitive after all, because she felt her walls clench and flutter around him, an agonizing, delicious pressure building inside her core.

The wet slapping of their bodies and the ragged sound of their breathing were particularly loud in the quiet of the night, and so was Rey’s whimper when he bit the very tip of her breast.

“I made myself come,” he grunted into her skin, licking a hot streak from the underside of her boob to her nipple. “After the ball. Came all over my chest thinking about – _Ah!_ About your skin. And your back. And your perfect little tits.”

That’s what did it for her this time. His mouth on her nipple had a part in it, of course, as did his cock pressing mercilessly into her, tip nudging at some sensitive place deep inside her she didn’t even know was there. But this time she felt like what really made her come was the mental image of him coming unraveled with his cock in his hand, muscles clenching as his fist worked feverishly, full lips panting out the shape of her name.

Her arms shook violently as she came, and so did her legs straddling his hips. It felt so intense Rey didn't notice her arms were giving out under her weight until her body was already starting to topple back. When Ben felt her move, he let go of her nipple, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up. Holding her to his chest, he kept thrusting, grunting and mumbling incomprehensible praises into the crook of her neck. In the afterglow of her orgasm, Rey just let her body go limp in his arms, bracing her hands on his shoulders as he pounded his way through the throbbing inside her.

She could make out her name in the string of words he was slurring into her skin, and it became more and more frequent as his arms tightened around her, his muscles feeling like steel around her pliant body.

With a guttural sound that hung somewhere between a sob and a growl, Ben bit down on her shoulder, his entire body shaking as he came inside her.

He kept panting against her skin for a while after he came, planting soft kisses to the spot where his teeth had left their mark. Breathing heavily, Rey just let her eyes flutter shut, reveling in the feeling of his lips against her skin and his heart pounding against her chest.

She’d never felt so at ease. In fact, she felt so relaxed she didn’t realize she was crying until a tear dripped down her face and onto his back, trickling down his shoulder blade. Ben raised his head immediately, bringing his hands up to her face and cupping her cheeks with a furrow between his brows.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you –”

“You came back,” she whispered, offering him a teary smile as she placed her hands on either side of his neck. “You came back to me.”

His forehead smoothed over when her words sank in. With a smile, he caressed her cheekbone with his thumb, wiping a tear off the side of her face.

“Technically, you came back to me.”

“Does that mean I win?”

Ben’s shoulders shook as he laughed, and Rey’s eyes lingered on the dimples on his cheeks before he pulled her face down and pressed his lips to hers.

“Okay,” he mumbled against her lips. “Just this once.”

He kissed a soft path from the corner of Rey's mouth down to her neck, finally burying his nose under her jawline. His touch was soft when his hands slid down to her waist, and he hugged her body to his, dragging his nose along her jaw. Reveling in his warmth, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her eyes roaming the blue-tinged room lazily while he peppered her neck with soft kisses. Through heavy eyelids, she saw a beam of moonlight glisten on the golden lettering that covered the spine of the book on the couch. The sight made her smile.

“This was my wish.”

“Hm?”

“When we saw that shooting star,” Rey explained, drawing lines on his shoulder blades with the tips of her fingers. “I wished you were real.”

Ben nuzzled her jaw in silence for a moment. Outside the balcony, the singing of a cicada echoed in the night, and Rey closed her eyes again, burying her nose in his hair. When he pressed a kiss to her pulse point, she could feel the shape of the smile on his lips.

“Me too.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I write slow burns because that's what I like to read, but if I'm being honest the expectations make my anxiety go through the roof when I post the chapter where they finally get together. I hope that wasn't too disappointing? Let me know how you feel! It always makes my day when you do. <3
> 
> Love your faces! <3


	12. The serpent under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, fam! I'm so, so sorry I missed a couple updates over the weekend. I was very shaken up by Hal's passing on Friday, and to be quite honest I couldn't find it in me to edit this chapter after hearing the news. I've been dealing with a lot of stuff in real life as well, and her death was a tragic, devastating, heartbreaking reminder that I have to be kinder to myself sometimes, so I took a couple days offline to focus on self-care. 
> 
> Be kind to yourselves, wash your hands and breathe! We're going to be fine. 
> 
> In loving memory of haloren1st. Her legacy will live on. May be light be with her.

Rey’s nose was tucked under Ben’s jaw when she woke up.

Which was weird, because she knew for a fact she was a very restless sleeper, and she also knew for a fact she’d fallen asleep just like this: nuzzling his jawline, left leg draped over his hips, hand tracing lazy patterns up and down his sternum.

She smiled against his skin as the inexorable conclusion dawned on her: she’d had her first good night’s sleep in twenty-one years.

Opening her eyes, she blinked against the prickly morning light, pushing up carefully on her right elbow. Ben grumbled a little when she moved, arms tightening around her body as if he could sense the increased distance in his sleep.

In his sleep, yes, since he was still very much asleep. She could tell by the soft puffs of air that left his bruised lips every now and then, making them pout ever so slightly; by the way his chest rose and fell under her left hand like a ship anchored in calm waters; by the way his dark lashes fluttered against his skin as his eyes moved behind his closed eyelids.

Rose had once told her people’s eyes would move like that when they were dreaming, and Rey smiled as she wondered if he was dreaming of her.

And then it hit her.

_Rose._

Rey's breath caught in her throat when she looked around the room as if expecting to find her friend standing there, even though she knew for a fact they’d never unlocked the door.

“Shit,” she whispered under her breath, throwing Ben another quick glance before she started to untangle her body from the warm, muscular cocoon of his arms. He grumbled again, louder this time, but, by the time she’d finally sat up, he hadn’t woken up. As softly as a cat, she scooted over to the edge of the bed, and the mattress creaked gently when she stood up.

Her body shivered when her feet touched the cold hardwood floors, and she bent down to collect her clothes from the ground. Hugging a bundle of gauzy white fabric to her chest, she padded towards the balcony, her eyes scanning the floor for her shoes.

She finally found them lying next to the sitting area, two feet apart, so she threw her clothes on the couch and started to get dressed as silently as possible. The early morning breeze finally found its way through a gap between the curtains just as she was shimmying into her top, and she shivered, feeling her nipples pebble.

 _Her nipples_. How differently she’d look at them from now on.

Warmth coiled up in her lower abdomen at the memory of Ben’s mouth on them. As if on cue, a deep, hoarse grumble stretched across the sunlit room.

“ _Rey._ ”

A small smile formed on her lips as she turned around, expecting to find him sitting up and rubbing the night’s sleep off his eyes, but, to her surprise, he wasn’t awake.

Holding her shoes, she padded back towards the bed to find him lying on his side with his back to her, arms tightly wrapped around her pillow.

“ _Rey,”_ he repeated, burying his face into the white silk pillowcase and nuzzling it with a low groan.

Rey stood there for a moment, watching the morning light paint grooves onto the muscular expanse of his broad back, hand caressing the smile that had settled on her lips. Still smiling, the approached the bed on her tiptoes, leaning over him when her knees hit the edge of the mattress.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered, brushing her lips along the shell of his ear. “I love you.”

He didn’t answer, but she didn’t need him to. With one last kiss on his cheek, she stood up and padded towards the door.

The sooner she found Rose, the sooner she could crawl back into his arms.

Rey turned the doorknob slowly, squeezing through the narrow crack she managed to open before the metal hinges whined, and finally stepped out of the room.

Stepping into her shoes, she looked around the atrium, biting her lip. It’s not that she _didn’t_ think Rose would sleep with Hux, of course. She just knew Rose well enough to know that she would have tried to come back because she’d promised Rey that she would.

And maybe she had. Maybe she’d knocked and called for Rey. Maybe Rey had been too exhausted and too sated, plunged way too deep into post-sex sleep to hear it. The thought made her chest clench with guilt.

Had Rose found somewhere else to sleep? Had she just roamed around the palace all night, alone and worried? Had she simply crashed in Hux’s room and lost track of time?

Staring at the empty corridors, Rey tried to ignore the tiny voice in the back of her mind telling her to _hurry_.

She inhaled deeply, hands on her hips, quickly realizing she didn’t have a plan. Her legs just started to move instinctively, dragging her across marble halls and long hallways lined with ceiling-high windows. She’d glance around every now and then, as if her friend might open a door or emerge from behind a vase at any moment, laughing at her for worrying.

Needless to say it never happened.

A weird, cold weight started to form in Rey’s stomach, growing heavier each time she rounded a corner and came face to face with a completely empty, dead silent corridor.

Rey didn’t know how she got to the entrance hall. Maybe her legs had learned the way, even if her brain hadn’t, but within a few minutes that felt like hours she found herself standing at the top of one of the staircases that led down to the palace’s front door.

Hux had invited Rose for a walk through the gardens, hadn’t he? Maybe she should start there, then. Maybe someone had seen them – maybe one of the guards would be able tell her what time they’d come back. With a nod to herself, Rey jogged down the stairs, still looking around in search of any signs of movement. There weren't any. The ample room was filled up only by the vaguely metallic sound of her shoes stomping cold stone. She reached the hall in no time, and was making her way through it in quick steps when a door creaked to her left.

“Princess Kira. Good morning. What a pleasant surprise!”

Rey snapped her head towards the sound to find governor Palpatine standing there with a polite smile on his lips.

“Morning,” she rasped through the tightness in her throat, taking a step towards him. “I’m looking for Ro… For Loan. Have you seen her?”

A puzzled furrow creased Palpatine’s forehead, and he shook his head.

“I’m afraid I haven’t, no. Has she not slept in your chambers?”

“No,” Rey answered, and for some reason saying it out loud made her throat feel even tighter. “She went for a walk yesterday in the evening and she didn’t come back.”

The crease on the man’s wrinkled forehead deepened, and he frowned, knitting his brows together.

“Well, that’s worrisome. Was she alone?”

“Yes,” Rey answered. There was no point in ratting Rose out just yet – she might be asleep in Hux’s bedroom, for all Rey knew.

Swallowing, she once again tried to ignore the tiny voice telling her that wasn’t the case.

“And when did you last see her?”

“Around eight.”

“That’s a long time,” the man murmured, shaking his head. “Worrisome indeed.”

“Can we… I mean, can I talk to the queen? Maybe she can help.”

And it probably made no sense, dragging the queen into such a frivolous matter, but for some reason the thought of Leia’s kind eyes and motherly voice calmed her heart a bit.

“I’m afraid the queen left the palace an hour ago, Your Highness. An emergency trip to handle a diplomatic crisis with the Gungans.”

Palpatine’s words made the weight in Rey’s stomach sink even lower, and, in an instant, all she wanted to do was hurry back to her chambers and shake Ben awake. He’d know what to do – he’d know where to look and who to ask. She knew he would.

“Well,” she rasped, clearing her throat. “Could you let the guards know I’m looking for her, please? I’ll head back to my chambers and –”

“And ask for the prince’s assistance?”

Rey blinked several times, certain that she must have misheard him. 

“What?”

“The prince,” Palpatine repeated, inching closer to her. “He’s still asleep in your chambers, isn’t he?”

He smiled, but there was neither humor nor kindness in it. It was cold and malicious, like the icy glimmer in his blue eyes.

“How do you –”

“Know?” he interrupted, raising and eyebrow sarcastically. “Oh, I know a lot of things, _princess._ I take pride in having eyes and ears _everywhere._ That’s why it puzzles me _,_ ” he added coldly, his eyes glancing down before he took another step forward. “That you managed to fly under my radar for so long.”

When he moved forward again, Rey took a step back. The sound of their footsteps reverberated across the hall.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, locking her jaw. “Where’s the queen?”

“It was a very impressive display of Wielding that you gave us,” he said, ignoring her questions. “Very impressive indeed. I’d even say _unprecedented_ , if Prince Benjamin didn’t have a similar affinity with the Force. In fact… An identical affinity with the Force.”

“Where’s the queen?” Rey repeated, louder this time, her hands balling into fists by her sides.

“Negotiating a treaty with the Gungans. I believe I’ve already told you that. Not that it matters,” he added, his eyes sparkling maliciously as they scanned Rey’s face. “Now that you’re here, I think the time has come for Queen Leia to be… _relieved_ of her duties.”

“What –” Rey started to hiss, but she never got to finish the sentence. With a flourish of Palpatine’s hand, everything went dark before she could say another word.

***

“ _Rey._ ”

Ben woke up to the sound of his own voice saying her name, but refused to open his eyes right away. Her smell felt divine in his nostrils, so he just nuzzled further into her, drowsy with sleep.

As he drew in a deep breath, winding his arms tighter around her small body, he wondered how he’d survived all these years without knowing how she smelled.

It had probably been for the best. Had he known this fresh, sweet scent of soap, jasmine and lemongrass when he was still a kid, he might have lost his mind when she disappeared.

Well, not that he _hadn’t_ , but it would surely have been much worse, and that was saying a lot. Even now, with her warm, pliant body tucked in his arms, he still felt a pang of despair in his chest just thinking about sleepless nights and restless days waiting for her to come back.

For years, she’d haunted his every thought like the ghost of a beautiful dream. He’d close his eyes and see it, clear as day behind his eyelids – the way her hazel eyes narrowed when she teased him; the way her delicate nose crinkled up when she laughed; her freckles shining like tiny specks of bronze against her tanned skin when sunlight kissed her body. He couldn’t get her out of his head, so he’d searched for her everywhere. Every blur of tanned skin; every pair of hazel eyes; every ringing laughter made his heart race and his eyes widen, looking for her, _desperate_ for her. 

It would never be her.

For years, it would never be her. He didn’t know when he’d finally admitted to himself that she’d never been real, nor did he know when he’d realized he’d fallen in love with her. All he knew was that both realizations had seemed to break him beyond repair.

It was just his luck, he guessed. Falling in love with a ghost.

She wasn’t a ghost, though.

She felt warm and real tucked into his arms, filling his nostrils with her delicate, inebriating scent. She’d felt warm and real on his lap, writhing and panting against his skin, crying out his name. She’d felt warm and real with her nose tucked under his chin, nuzzling his jaw, laughing softly as she told him all about this ludicrous, _blessed_ plan of impersonating royalty.

She wasn’t a ghost. She was real. And she was his.

“Rey,” he rasped again, nuzzling her hair as his eyelids fluttered open.

Ben blinked several times when he realized it wasn’t her hair.

Frowning, he sat up as he rubbed his eyes, tossing the pillow he’d been cuddling to the side.

“Rey?” he grated, looking around the room with a crease between his brows.

A quick scanning of the floor told him that her clothes were gone, and so were her shoes. Squinting against the sunlight, he got up from the bed, running his hands through his hair as he bent down to pick up his own clothes.

Tugging his pants up his legs, he headed towards the balcony. The morning air nipped at his bare chest when he drew the curtains and stepped outside.

“Rey?”

He looked around the balcony, and found nothing but the bright green leaves of the tall trees around it swaying with the wind. Furrowing his brows, he walked back inside, rushing to check the bathrooms, the adjacent bedroom, the walk-in closet.

She wasn’t there.

Ben cursed under his breath as he put on his boots, and was still pulling his shirt over his head when he opened the door.

She could be looking for breakfast, of course, or just have gone looking for a servant to ask for something. She _could_ have, but something deep in his stomach told him something was off, so he threw an anxious glance across the atrium, looking for the guards who were supposed to be watching her door.

There weren’t any.

Had his mother dismissed them?

With a deep furrow between his brows, Ben crossed the hall in long strides, swallowing thickly as he jogged down a wide staircase. By the amount of light pouring into the palace, he deduced it must have been around eight, which meant his mother should be in the throne room starting her daily signings and dispatches. Without a second thought, he rushed towards her.

For some reason, his heart was beating in his throat when he reached the familiar lofty doors and pushed them open, using his shoulder for leverage.

“Mom?” he called as he closed the door, “Mom, did you –”

When Ben turned around, his mother wasn’t on the throne.

In fact, she was nowhere to be seen. When his eyes roamed around anxiously, all they found were two empty thrones casting long shadows onto the marble floors as the early sunlight bathed them from behind, catching on the specks of dust swirling in the air.

He pressed his lips together as he jogged down the steps that separated the raised periphery of the circular room from its center, hair bouncing and jaw clenched as he strode towards the thrones.

“Prince Benjamin.”

Ben was in the middle of the room when he heard it, and his head snapped to his left, searching for the source of the sound. From the shadows that cloaked one of the side doors, Palpatine emerged with his hands behind his back, a formal smile on his lips.

“Governor. Have you seen my mother?”

“I’m afraid she left about an hour ago, Your Highness,” the man said with a grave look on his face. “Well, there’s no easy way to say this. I’m afraid Otoh Gunga’s threatening military action against Theed.”

“What?” Ben said, knitting his brows together. “That’s impossible. We’ve been at peace with the Gungans for over a century.”

“Well,” Palpatine drawled, walking around the perimeter of the room towards the throne. “It seems like someone’s been swaying their opinion about Theed. Working in the shadows to convince them that the trade agreement concerning the eastern routes was… _Arbitrary_ , I believe is the term they’re using. And _unilateral_.

“That trade agreement is faultless. Mother negotiated it for _months_ with all of the Gungan leaders, and _no one_ –”

“I know, I know. I was there for the negotiations,” Palpatine said solemnly, approaching the queen’s throne. “It was clearly foul play. I wonder,” he murmured, running his forefinger over the intricate carvings of the wooden armrest. “Who would be capable of such treason.”

And it was when he smiled – a cold, cruel smile, his eyes fixed on the throne – that the words fell from Ben’s mouth with no input from his rational mind.

“Where’s Rey?”

Palpatine turned his head slowly, looking down at the prince with a baleful smile.

“Who’s Rey, Your Highness?”

Ben didn’t answer, but only clenched and unclenched his fists rapidly as the governor stared him down.

“Oh,” the man finally said, raising his eyebrows sarcastically. “Is that the name of the street rat who’s been posing as a princess?”

“Say that again.”

Ben’s voice was shaking with rage, and so where his hands, so he balled them into fists again, locking his jaw.

“Oh, I’m not passing judgement on your taste in women. I’m just stating a fact. No amount of pretty dresses makes a street rat a princess, wouldn’t you agree?”

Ben was no stranger to anger. It was an old, intimate friend. He knew how dangerous it could be when it burst out, causing harm to people or things that didn’t deserve to be harmed. The man in front of him, however, seemed like a perfectly justified target for the simmering rage coursing through his veins, so he focused on the violent waves lapping against his flesh, begging to be freed into the ocean around him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Ben,” Palpatine said, an evil twinkle in his cold blue eyes. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 

Ben used the words to feed his ire, feeling the tingling energy crawl to his hands, gathering on his palms.

“You leave me with no choice, then.”

And, with a brief flourish of Palpatine’s hand, everything went dark.

***

“Rey? Rey, c’mon! Wake up!”

Rey gasped when she jolted awake, sitting up in one swift movement.

“Where is he?”

“Hey, hey, calm down babe. Breathe,” Rose said, kneeling beside her and pressing a hand to her cheek.

“Rose? What – what happened? Where –”

“Are we?” her friend asked, wetting her lips. “Where do you think?”

Rey’s eyes struggled to focus as they roamed around the room, taking in the damp stone walls; the grimy stone floor she was sitting on; the heavy, rusty iron door on the wall across from her.

“Is this… a cell?”

“Looks like it,” a voice said from the corner of the room. Rey’s head snapped towards the sound to find Hux sitting in a corner, his arm rested casually on his bent knee. “Never been down here.”

“Hux?” she asked, knitting her brows together. “Rose, what happened? I woke up and you… You weren’t there, What –”

“They _caught us._ ” Rose shook her head as she sat down on the floor next to Rey. “We were… _walking_ ,” she said, blushing as she threw Hux a side glance, “And then some guards just _grabbed us_.”

“They’re accusing you two of being thieves. And me,” Hux explained, pointing to his own chest. “Of helping you infiltrate the palace.”

“Who are ‘they’?”

“We don’t know,” Rose replied, shaking her head. “The guards just called us all kinds of names and threw us in here.”

“Palpatine.” Rey drew in a sharp breath, scrambling to her feet as the images of cold blue eyes started to play back in her mind. “It’s all Palpatine.”

“The governor? What does he have to do with it?” Hux asked, starting to stand up as well. Rose followed.

“He’s staging some kind of… coup, I think.”

“Wait, this is a lot of information for one day,” Hux grumbled, massaging his temples. “I thought they’d just found out about you two and -”

“I told you we’re not _thieves_ ,” Rose spat, hands on her hips. “Just impostors. There’s a difference!”

“Yes, yes,” the man murmured, closing his eyes. “Fair enough, but this has surely been a huge misunderstanding. I mean, the queen would understand your situation. Empathize with it. If we can convince them to get us an audience with her –”

“The queen’s not here,” Rey rasped, clenching her fists. “And there’s been no misunderstanding. Palpatine’s staging a coup. He told me Leia left earlier today to handle some crisis with the Gungans –”

“The Gungans?” Hux interrupted incredulously.

“That’s what she said! Just let her finish! _God_!” Tiny as Rose was, she still made Hux look sheepishly at his feet, his ears matching the shade of his hair.

“I’m sorry. Go on.”

“He told me she’s out to handle the crisis, but then he said it didn’t matter because… she wouldn’t be queen anymore, or something?”

“What?” Rose mumured, eyes wide and scandalized. “Is he planning on… _Killing the queen_?”

“I don’t know!” Rey cried, throwing her hands in the air. “But, yeah, I think he wants the throne.”

“He doesn’t get the throne.” Hux crossed his arms, shaking his head. “He’s the governor. He’s third in line. If anything happens to the queen, the throne goes to…”

“ _Ben._ ”

Rey and Hux said the name at the same time, and then held each other’s gaze for a brief moment of complete silence.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Rey chanted, striding towards the iron door and running her hands desperately over its rugged surface. “No, we have to warn him.”

“Can’t you...” Hux trailed off, gesturing vaguely towards Rey’s hands. “You know, use the…”

“Stand back.” Taking a step back, Rey raised her hand towards the door, breathing deeply.

Rose and Hux retreated towards the back of the cell, and Rey focused on the energy around her, visualizing the lock on the other side.

It wasn’t hard. In a split second, the sound of the lock clicking open echoed off the stone walls, and Rey lunged forward, rushing to the exit.

As soon as her hands touched cold metal, another clicking sound filled up the space, and, when she pushed, the door didn’t budge.

She stood there panting, looking at rusty iron, until a small window opened right in front of her face, revealing a face half-obscured by a helmet.

“The governor said you’d try that,” the guard said, scowling. “Did you really think no one would be here watching?”

Rey swallowed thickly in response, braced her hands on the door and leaned closer to the man

“Listen, the governor’s a traitor, okay? We’re not thieves, and he’s planning to –”

“Right,” the man drawled, moving to close the window.

“No, wait!” Rey cried, and he stopped for a second, frowning at her.

She’d only heard about this in stories. She was pretty sure it was only a legend, but it was worth a try.

“You will unlock this door and let us out.”

“What did you say?” The man asked, knitting his brows together.

Wetting her lips, Rey said it again. 

“You will unlock this door and let us out.”

The guard stared at her for a brief moment before he scoffed.

“I’ll throw the key into the lake and leave you to rot in there, _thieves_.”

When he made to close the window again, Rey banged her closed fist against the door, making it rattle.

“No, no, no, _wait!_ ”

Breathing heavily, she let her eyes flutter shut for a split second, trying to empty her head; trying to visualize the desired outcome.

When she spoke again, her voice sounded cool and emotionless, completely foreign to her ears.

“You will unlock this door and let us out.”

The man stared at her for a long moment, and his eyes looked bleary when he spoke again in a drawled monotone.

“I will unlock this door and let you out.”

A second later, the lock clicked again, and the door started to drift open with a loud, rusty whine.

“And you’ll drop your sword!” Rey added as an afterthought. 

“And I’ll drop my sword,” the man said from the other side. His weapon clanked against the stone floor just as light started to stream into the darkened cell.

“What the hell was that?” Rey heard Hux’s stunned voice ask from her right.

“I have no idea,” she panted, shaking her head. “Let’s go.”

The light outside blinded her when she walked out into a long stone corridor, and she squinted as she bent down to pick up the sword at the guard’s feet.

“Okay, we need a plan,” Rose said, and Rey turned around to face her.

“The plan’s finding Ben.”

“I’ll go to his chambers and warn him,” Hux said. “He must still be asleep.”

“He’s not in his chambers, he’s in mine,” Rey blurted out, starting to move towards the narrow stone staircase at the end of the corridor.

“He’s _what_? Oh my God, Rey, what’s that thing on your neck? _Did you fuck_?”

“Rose!!” Rey cried, turning around. “Not the time!”

“How?” Hux asked, his entire face twisting into an incredulous grimace.

Rey sighed, shaking her head. “Just drop it, you two! I’ll go find him, okay? You take Artoo and Threepio and go find the queen. She can’t be far – she must be taking the eastern route towards lake Paonga.

Rose shook her head vehemently, taking a step forward.

“ _Nope_. Not a chance.”

“ _Rose,_ you have to warn her. She has to come back to the palace.”

“You’re not going alone, okay?”

Rey stared into her friend’s glimmering eyes for a long moment before she shook her head.

“I’m not alone,” she murmured. 

The ghost of a smile was still on her lips when she turned around and darted up the staircase.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready for some reylo fighting? 😎
> 
> Last chapter tomorrow, and then a fluffy little epilogue to wrap things up! Love your faces. Stay safe!


	13. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter contains graphic depictions of violence, as well as a main character death scene that may be triggering for those of you who have experienced/ are experiencing TRoS related mental health issues. I promise a tooth-rottingly sweet happy ending with nothing even remotely bittersweet about it, but reader discretion is advised.

Rey’s palms were sweating around the hilt of the sword as she sprinted through staircases, atriums and hallways. Feeling the weapon slip, she gripped it more tightly, barely registering the pain of cold carved steel biting into her skin.

“To the right!” Hux called from behind her, and she made a sharp turn into another long corridor, feet sliding across the sleek marble floor.

“Rey, slow down! We can’t keep up!” she heard Rose’s voice pant, the sound of her friend’s footsteps heavy and erratic.

Rey didn’t change her pace. She couldn’t afford to slow down. Not when Ben needed her.

“To the right and down the staircase, then right again – it leads straight into the entrance hall!” Hux shouted again, and Rey finally came to a halt.

“I know the way from there. Hurry up. Stay safe!” she yelled over her shoulder before she bolted down the hallway to her right, leaving her friends behind. Her legs were burning, and each panting breath she drew in was like a sharp knife to her ribcage. She kept running, though; sprinting down a long stairwell and across another corridor until she crossed a wooden door and slid into the entrance hall.

Panting, she stopped for a second, eyes darting up the marble staircase.

She knew where to go from here.

Sucking in a long breath, she lunged forward again, the sound of her footsteps hammering the quiet morning air as she stomped her way up to the first floor. She made to turn to the right, towards her apartments – _towards Ben_ – but something made her come to a clumsy halt.

A prickle in the back of her mind, almost like a wind murmuring inside her head. An inkling, guiding her feet to where she needed to be.

“Ben,” she panted, head snapping to the left instead – to the corridor and the staircase that led into the throne room.

Without a second thought, Rey sprinted down the hallway and swerved to the right, sliding to the foot of the marble stairs and climbing them two steps at a time. She didn’t slow down when she reached the stately atrium, nor did she stop to turn the doorknob. She kept running at the same speed, and a sharp pain exploded across her shoulder and upper back when she crashed against the heavy carved door, flinging it open.

She couldn’t care less.

Panting heavily, she barged into the room, and then she stopped.

The morning light was pouring in through the massive stained glass windows, making a kaleidoscope of colorful reflexes dance across the marble floor. It was there, under a patch of red, green and blue, that Ben lay unconscious.

Rey’s feet darted towards him before her brain had even had the time to elaborate any thoughts, and within a second she was falling to her knees next to him. Her sword clanked when she threw it to the side so that she could use both hands to lift his head, her eyes flitting desperately across his face.

“Ben? Ben, wake up. _Please._ ”

She shook him gently as she pleaded, her breathing shallow and heavy.

“Please. _Please_. Ben.”

It probably lasted less than a minute, but it felt like hours. She could feel him breathing; could feel his bright, soothing energy surrounding her and wrapping her up in its calming warmth, but he wouldn’t _open his eyes_ , which made her throat burn and clench and –

And then his eyelids fluttered open.

“Ben?” she said, tears straining her voice. 

“Rey?”

She let out a long, teary sigh of relief as he squinted up at her. Blinking back tears, she watched him sit up slowly, bringing a hand up to her face.

“I was so scared, I thought he’d _–_ ”

Her sentence was cut short by a dry sob, and Ben brought his other hand to her waist, pulling her closer to his chest.

“Shh, hey,” he whispered softly, caressing her cheek. “I’m here.”

“Palpatine,” Rey choked out. “Ben, Palpatine, he’s –”

Ben’s eyes widened as he remembered something, and he scrambled to his feet clumsily, eyes darting around the room.

“The Gungans,” he murmured as he helped Rey up. “He… he turned them against my mother. He –”

“Fabricated the crisis to get her out of the palace,” Rey completed, nodding. “I think he wants to –”

“Take the throne.”

Ben stood in silence for a moment, panting heavily, worried eyes flickering across Rey’s face before he spoke again.

“Rey, he… he knows about –”

“Me,” she completed again. Closing the distance between them, she placed her hands on his chest, feeling his heart hammering under her sweaty palms. “Us. I know.”

“I won’t let him hurt you,” Ben murmured, brushing wet tendrils of hair away from her face before he cupped her cheeks. “I won’t let him get anywhere near you. I swear.”

“We have to stop him,” Rey answered hurriedly, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “We have to –”

“So Palpatine _was_ telling the truth.”

The cold voice made Rey suck in a sharp breath. Ben’s eyes widened for a second, and then he turned quickly towards the source of the sound, shielding her behind his back.

It was no use.

He could shield her from Vicrul, Ushar and Kuruk, who were coming from the side door directly across from her, but there wasn’t much he could do about the three other men coming in through the main door to her left.

“You two _are_ fucking.” The count’s pale blue eyes glinted with malice as he said the words. “Is it also true that she’s just a street rat?”

“Call her that again,” Ben growled, and Rey was so close to his back she could feel his body shaking with rage. “And you’re dead.”

Vicrul laughed coldly, resuming his lazy stroll towards them. In her peripheral vision, Rey could see the other men starting to form a circle around them, enclosing them within a wall of cruel eyes.

“So you _did_ do the lifting for her. She just pretended to do it. Very convincing acting.” The count ran his forefinger over the hilt of his sword as he climbed down the steps to the center of the room. “Was that the plan all along? Making us come all the way here to humiliate us with the help of your little whore?” 

Rey was no stranger to anger. She’d felt it before. She felt it often, if she was being honest with herself. But she’d never felt anything like this dense, cold, poisonous ire pulsing out of Ben’s body with each panting breath he took, streaming thickly into the Force around them.

“You really don’t want to do this, Vicrul,” Ben said, and his voice was low and cold, unlike anything Rey had ever heard from him.

The count didn’t seem to feel the darkness Rey was feeling. If he had, he probably wouldn’t have kept moving towards Ben with that smug smile on his lips.

“Tell me something, _Your Highness_ ,” the man drawled sarcastically, malice flickering in his cold eyes. “’Cause God knows I’ve been thinking about it. Is she at least a good lay? The street rat?”

The words hung in the air for the briefest of moments, and then many things happened at the same time. Rey heard the metallic drag of Vicrul’s sword slipping out of its sheath at the exact same time Ben’s arm flew to the side, hand outstretched. The sword she’d taken from the guard rattled on the ground and then swooshed through the air. In an instant, Ben’s hand was clasped firmly around its adorned hilt, shaking with rage.

Rey heard the sound of a blade slicing its way through flesh, and watched Vicrul’s eyes widen as his lips parted. The man glanced downwards, and Rey’s eyes followed his gaze. She found Ben’s hands trembling, knuckles going white around the hilt of the sword as he buried it to the hilt into the count’s chest.

As Vicrul started to collapse to the floor, Ben yanked the sword out of his lifeless body and reached for the weapon attached to the man’s hip at the same time. 

Rey raised her hand on impulse, guided by the tingle in the back of her mind. When she did, her fist closed around the hilt of the bloodied sword Ben was passing her over his shoulder. At the same time, she heard the metallic lick of steel on steel as Ben pulled Vicrul’s sword to himself in one swift motion, a second before the man’s body hit the ground. Baring her teeth, Rey turned around and pressed her back to Ben’s just in time to see two men running towards her.

On pure instinct, she reached out with her left arm, and the man to her left yelled as an invisible force hurled him backwards, sending him flying across the room. He crashed against a pillar with the nauseating sound of crushing bones, and Rey watched his eyes glaze over as he slipped down black-streaked marble, tinging it crimson. Her eyes lingered on the man, but they lingered a little too long. When she turned her head again, she found Ap’lek only a few feet away, approaching fast, sword raised above his head.

He was close. Too close. Approaching way too fast for her to –

Behind her, Ben leaned forward, and she leaned back at the same time, using his body for leverage to quick Ap’lek square in the chest. The man stumbled backwards, and she hopped back down to the ground, baring her teeth as she twirled the sword by her sides.

As her opponent regained his balance and lunged forward, the fact that she had no sword training crossed Rey’s mind for a fleeting moment. She was handy with a staff, of course, but she’d never even held a sword before, so she should have felt terrified as the huge knight raised his blade above his head again, moving to strike down on her.

Curiously enough, she didn’t. 

In fact, she’d never felt as confident as she did when she raised her blade and blocked his attack, making their swords clang when they locked and then hiss as the blades slid against each other.

It felt like the silence inside her head – this hallowed, sacred silence that only came with Ben’s presence – had evolved into a sense of clarity unlike anything she’d ever felt. She’d always believed that whatever power she might have resided in the turmoil; the violence; the raging roar of the waves inside her and the damage they could cause. Standing there holding a bloodied sword, however, she realized there were no waves inside her head; no turmoil she could use to manipulate the Force.

Something far more powerful had taken their place.

Reaching into the Force, Rey could feel _currents_ – tranquil and slow, but deeper and far more powerful than fleeting, superficial waves. These were the very same currents that raised the waves and extinguished them at their whim; the currents that had always been underneath the raging water, controlling its movement and its shape, but that she’d never been able to tap into.

She could, now.

Rey bent forward and twirled when the man swung his sword in a broad circular motion, aiming for her neck. His blade whistled in the air above her, and she used the momentum of her low spin to swing her own sword.

Ap’Lek grunted and stumbled backwards when the edge of her blade dragged across his thigh. With a low growl, he looked down at the crimson red blood starting to soak his pants, and rage twisted his features. Rey was panting heavily, assessing the damage she’d inflicted, when she heard a shriek echo behind her, followed by the sound of a body falling to the ground.

Ben’s second kill.

 _Three men down_ , she thought, reaching for their bond and pouring her pride into it. _Three to go._

She snapped her attention back to her own opponent when he pounced forward again, apparently unfazed by the pain on his leg. Rey managed to block an overhead swing, and then a sideways rebound of the man’s blade. When he took a step back and thrust his sword in her direction, however, she didn’t dodge it fast enough.

Rey cried out as she felt the cold metal bite into her upper arm. At the exact same time, a wave of concern rippled across the Force.

 _It’s a scratch,_ she pressed in Ben’s direction as she panted and twirled her sword by her sides again. _Keep fighting._

This time around, she was the one who pounced.

The sharp pain on her arm made anger simmer in her blood, and she quickly realized rage had its place in this new ocean she was navigating, too. Combined with the tranquil but unfathomable weight of the deep currents, it seemed to make the power of the waters unstoppable.

Rey growled as she lunged forward, attacking the man again, and again, and again, twirling in between swings to use the momentum in her favor. Ap’lek managed to block all of her blows, but she could see his injured leg starting to go unstable, so she kept going, ignoring the burning exhaustion in her muscles. 

When the duke grunted to block her blade, she heard another man collapse behind her and smiled in triumph.

_Two to go._

For a split second, her opponent’s eyes darted over her shoulder, possibly watching Ben charge the last of his accomplices, and she seized the opportunity.

Using her right foot, she kicked Ap’lek’s injured leg, and he grunted loudly, losing his balance. When her foot hit the ground again, she twirled, and the blade of her sword whistled as it swung around her in a perfect circle.

She barely registered the wet sound of metal against skin until she was facing Ap’lek again, sword raised diagonally above her head, ready to resume her attack.

She didn't have to. 

Before her eyes, the man brought his hand up to his slit throat, but there was nothing he could do about the blood gurgling down the front of his blue velvet coat. He fell to the ground slowly, but Rey turned around before he collapsed, feeling a wave of distress roll in her direction.

Several feet away, Ben was groaning, trying to wrestle his way out of Ushar’s chokehold, his sword lying on the ground by his feet.

“Ben!” she yelled, and his eyes darted towards her just in time to see her hurl her sword in his direction. He grabbed it firmly with his right hand, flipped it masterfully and thrust it backwards through the gap between his torso and his arm. Behind him, Ushar let out a gasp. It was the last sound he made before his eyes widened and glazed over, and he fell to the ground with a sword buried to the hilt just under his sternum.

“ _Rey._ ”

Their eyes locked for the briefest of moments before they flung themselves into each other’s arms. Rey’s sword clanked against the ground when she wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his neck, hands fisting into his shirt.

“Are you okay? _You’re hurt_. I felt you –”

“It’s just a scratch,” she panted, raising her eyes to his. “It’s okay.”

Ben’s hands were feather light when they cupped her cheeks, wiping away a tear she didn’t know was there.

“We need to find him, Ben. We need to stop him. Your mother, she –”

Rey’s sentence was cut short by the warm touch of Ben’s lips on hers.

For a moment, the soft caress of his thumbs on her cheekbones and the graze of his large fingers on the nape of her neck made her forget all about treason and coups. With a soft sigh, she kissed him back, tightening her grip on his shirt.

When Ben broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers, keeping his hands on her face as he stared into her eyes.

“I love you.”

Rey couldn’t help the smile that formed on her lips as she looked up at him, hot tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

“I love you, too.”

They were still smiling at each other when the loud, sharp sound of slow clapping echoed across the sunlit chamber. Gasping, Rey turned around just in time to see Palpatine emerging slowly from the side door, an amused glint in his cruel eyes.

“Impressive. _Very_ impressive. A Dyad, indeed.”

Ben’s hands were shaking when he stepped in front of Rey, shielding her with his body.

“You’re dead,” Ben growled. Breathing heavily, he reached out for the sword that lay on the ground, fingers trembling in anger.

Before Ben could summon the weapon, Palpatine flicked his hand casually, and Rey gasped at the sharp pain of her knees hitting the ground.

It took her a moment to realize Ben had fallen down, too. And it took her an even longer moment to realize she couldn’t move.

“How can I have a civilized conversation with you two if you won’t stop resorting to violence?”

Palpatine’s cold voice filled up the entire room, drowning out the sound of their ragged breathing.

“You’re –” Rey started to growl, but she gasped again when her knees slid across the floor. Holding her breath, she felt some invisible force turn her around and push her until she was kneeling in the middle of the room, facing the thrones.

In her peripheral vision, she could see the same had happened to Ben.

“Now, that’s better, don’t you think?” The man’s drawl was cold and cruel as he walked past them, approaching the thrones in a calm stroll.

“You’re not getting away with this,” Ben panted by her side, and she could feel the waves of his rage lapping in the Force. “You’re a dead man.”

“And who’s going to kill me? You?” Stopping in front of them with his hands behind his back, Palpatine smiled. “I’ve never seen a dead man kill anyone. That would be an interesting first.”

The man’s words made a sharp, icy chill run down Rey’s body, and she looked around feverishly, searching for a way out; taking stock of the weapons around them. The nearest sword was her own, which was glistening under the sun well over ten feet behind her. Way too far. Far enough to give Palpatne plenty of time to react.

Not that it mattered, anyway. Not when she couldn’t move.

“The queen has been warned,” she spat as she turned back around, trying not to let despair seep through her voice. “She’s on her way back. Your plan’s failed.”

“Oh, no,” Palpatine lamented with a sarcastic frown, inching closer to her. “Is that so? ‘Cause it seems like my plan’s doing _just fine_. Better than I had anticipated, in fact,” he continued, malice gleaming in his eyes. “This little fight was a very fortunate idea. I’m very happy I added it last minute. It would have been a shame to have you both die without witnessing the Dyad in action first.”

“What are you talking about?” Ben yelled. “Have you lost your mind?”

Palpatine just chuckled softly in response, turning around slowly to face the thrones.

“It’s fascinating, if you think about it. A Dyad in the Force. Two that are one. A power like life itself, unseen for millennia. And, of all the vessels it could use, the Force chooses…” He stopped for a moment, the corners of his lips twitching as he turned around. “ _Young lovers._ Arguably the most gullible creatures to walk the face of the Earth. Maybe the Force isn’t _that_ wise after all, wouldn’t you say so, Your Highness?”

Rey panted heavily, blinking as she tried to make sense of the man’s words. Reaching into the Force, she could feel confusion swirl around Ben’s warm presence, too. They just breathed heavily for a long moment, and Palpatine smiled again, taking a step towards them.

“I could feel her around you, you know?” The governor’s voice was menacingly calm when he locked eyes with Ben; a polite murmur that made Rey’s skin crawl. “And it was so _frustrating,_ knowing the other half of the Dyad was somewhere out there, hiding in plain sight.” With another twitch of his lips, Palpatine’s eyes turned to Rey, and she swallowed.

“I searched for you,” he said in the same cold tone, inching closer to her. “I searched for you in every palace, every Royal House of every kingdom. Gathered all of these _clowns_ in the hope of luring you to the palace, believing I’d neglected a bloodline or a distant kingdom.” His eyes took in the dead bodies scattered around the room as he said that, dripping with disdain. “And how ironic is it that I should have been looking in the gutter instead? Among the street rats?”

Rey’s spit landed a few short inches away from the governor’s feet, and he chuckled.

“Feisty,” he said, looking over at Ben. “I see you get your taste in women from your father. And that you,” Palpatine added, turning back to Rey. “Get your manners from the gutter you come from.”

He was so close Rey had to crane her neck to meet his spiteful gaze when he spoke again – so close she could feel his disgust sliding down her body when it dripped from his lips. “A _nobody_. Why would the Force choose _you_?”

Baring her teeth, Rey snarled at the man, trying to fight against the invisible vines holding her body down with their steely grip.

“But it doesn’t matter.” His silver hair caught the colorful sunlight streaming in through stained glass windows when he shook his head. “When you’re dead, and the power of the Dyad lies with me, things will be different. A new order. _A new throne_ , as the prophecy says. And scum like you will be kept where they belong.”

“It’s not going to work.”

It took Rey a moment to realize the words had come out of Ben’s mouth, because his voice was unrecognizable. Low and cold, it dragged across the marble walls like nails on a chalkboard, sending shivers down her body.

Even Palpatine seemed to have been caught off guard, because he looked at the prince for a moment before his eyes glinted amusedly.

“Is it not?”

“No,” Ben repeated in the same tone. Something in his voice made Rey’s throat clench, and she tried to reach out to him only to realize she couldn’t. There was no trace of him in the Force around her; no trace of him _inside_ her; and his absence throbbed painfully in her chest. Hot tears were burning her eyes when he spoke again. “You know the prophecy as well as I do. _When the twin stars align, inextricably twined, only then, by design, will there be a new throne_.”

“It’s no use trying to buy yourself time, boy. Why don’t you –”

“I’m not trying to buy myself time. I’m trying to help you see the mistake you’re making.”

“And what would that be?” The words were soaked with cold, venomous sarcasm as they fell from Palpatine’s lips.

And then Ben chuckled – a cold, cruel chuckle that sent a shiver down Rey’s spine. That’s when she felt it – a darkness, undiluted and icy, oozing out of his body in thick spurts. A dense energy that _felt_ like him somehow, but that also felt wrong and hopeless, making the emptiness in her chest sting like alcohol on a fresh wound. 

All of a sudden, she felt cold.

“Can you really be that obtuse? _Inextricably twined_. How can the two halves of the Dyad be _inextricably twined_ inside of _you_ when they have to share the space with your own soul?”

Palpatine blinked several times, his face inscrutable as he clenched and unclenched his fists rapidly.

“You know they can’t,” Ben drawled coldly. “You know the third soul would taint the union. They have to be joined in one of the chosen vessels. It’s the only way.”

“Oh, _I see_ ,” the governor finally said with a condescending smile. “This is your hero moment, isn’t it? The moment you _beg_ me to spare her life and kill you instead?”

“No,” Ben deadpanned. “This is the moment I tell you I’ll kill her.”

“Ben?”

His name fell from Rey’s lips in the form of a breathless exhale. Desperately, she tried to reach out, feel him, find the warm tendrils of light in the shape of him telling her that they had this; that they were going to make it through this together.

She found nothing but pure darkness.

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you,” Palpatine said, cocking his head.

“You haven’t,” Ben replied, shaking his head. He didn’t even stutter when he said it again. “I’ll kill her.”

The old man’s laughter felt colder and sharper than the edge of a sword when it cut through Rey’s flesh.

“Weren’t you declaring your _eternal love_ for her just now?”

“Well, conditions change,” Ben said, his voice cool and emotionless. _So_ emotionless, like he was no stranger to this cruelty oozing out of him. “If you’re right – if we _are_ the prophesized Dyad, I mean…” He shrugged nonchalantly, eyes fixed on Palpatine. “Unlimited power’s worth more than a vanilla fuck.”

The governor just stared him, his face unreadable, until Ben spoke again.

“I’ll kill her. The two halves will live inside me. And then we can rule.” There was something in his voice – an edge of greed; a calculating selfishness that made a tear trickle down the side of Rey’s face.

“Ben?”

He ignored her again, greedy eyes trained on Palpatine as he resumed his proposition.

“We could build an Empire. With your guidance, I’ll be able to finish what my grandfather started. Isn’t that what happened to him?” Ben asked the question with the calmness of someone who already knew the answer. “You tried to guide him, tried to help him be _all_ that he could be, but he was too _weak_. Too haunted by _guilt_ over his dead wife. Too weakened by _love_ for his children.” There was something that sounded like disgust in his voice when he spoke of love and attachments, and it made Rey’s chest ache. “That won’t be a problem for me. We’ll build the empire he let slip through his fingers because he was too much of a coward to seize it.”

Palpatine’s eyes glistened as they flitted across Ben’s face, as if searching for _something_. Maybe he found the same thing that Rey had – greed, hunger, selfishness, malice. And maybe he felt this undiluted, dense darkness swirling in the Force, too, because, after a long moment, he smiled.

“My dear boy. I knew you’d embrace it one day. Your legacy.”

Ben collapsed on all fours as the governor spoke, tendrils of jet-black hair falling over his face before he looked up.

“The Dark Prince rises at last.” The old man outstretched his arms as Ben got to his feet, inviting him to come closer. “Come, boy. Come fulfill your destiny.”

“ _Ben._ ”

Once again, Ben didn’t look at Rey when the teary, broken murmur fell from her lips. Through the veil of her tears, his silhouette looked blurry against the stained glass windows.

“Master,” Ben murmured solemnly, bowing before Palpatine.

For a fraction of a second, the air seemed to go still, as if anticipating something important, not unlike it had the previous night, right before their kiss.

Maybe it was foreshadowing the moment when Ben’s hand reached back, fingers splayed, and the sword that lay several feet behind Rey flew past her head, swooshing across the air.

It was so quick Rey didn’t register what had happened until the wet sound of steel cutting through flesh, skin and bone rippled across the stillness of the morning air.

She saw Palpatine gasp; saw his body jerk an inch backwards; and then saw the thin rivulet of crimson red blood trickle down the side of his mouth. As he fell to the ground, so did she. Freed from the invisible binds, she collapsed on her side, her eyes darting instinctively to Ben’s heaving back as the governor’s body hit the ground.

And then she felt him. Luminous and warm and hallowed and golden, his presence thrummed in the Force, washing over Rey’s body and sliding right into the gaping hole in her chest.

“Ben,” she breathed, propping herself up on her elbow as she made to stand up.

The moment she said his name, his presence flickered like a candle in the wind.

“Ben?”

When he didn’t turn around, Rey’s eyes darted to the body at his feet. Palpatine was lying on his side, his unseeing eyes wide open, sword buried right into his heart. From his right hand, a long dagger hung loosely, his fingers barely wrapped around its hilt. Under the sunlight, the drops of blood dripping from the dark blade sparkled like rubies.

Rey wouldn’t have been able to tell when she’d scrambled to her feet, but she was there to brace Ben’s fall right before he hit the ground.

“Ben? _Ben_ ,” she panted as she laid him carefully on her lap, cradling his head.

“ _Rey._ ”

He smiled as he said her name, eyes glistening as they roamed lazily around her face. There was blood coating the hand that he raised to tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear.

“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, trying to bite back a sob as her eyes assessed the gaping wound on his side. She laid her trembling hand over it, feeling thick, warm blood coat her palm. Pressing down, she looked back at his face. “You’re going to be fine. We’ll just -”

“You’re _so beautiful_. Did I tell you that?” He dragged the back of his hand across her cheek as he said it, as if to memorize her face.

“B-Ben, just,” she stuttered, her tears falling heavily on his chest. “We’re together now. You’re going to be fine. You’ll see.”

But he knew that he wasn’t, and she knew it, too. Somewhere deep inside her, she knew it, because she could feel his presence dwindle, going dimmer with each second that ticked by.

“SOMEBODY HELP ME!” she howled, looking at the open door of the throne room.

Her broken voice echoed across the empty hallways of the Royal Palace of Theed.

“Shhh, hey,” he whispered, cupping her face. When she looked back at him, a dry sob ripped through her chest. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

“Ben, just… just hang in there,” she sniffled, shaking as she tried to stanch the bleeding. “ _Please_. We’ll get help. Just – just –”

Slowly, Ben’s hand left her face, coming to rest gently over the hand she was pressing to his wound.

The images that flashed inside her head weren’t images, strictly speaking. They were more like feelings, sensations, echoes of memories, but so vivid, strong and colorful she could almost see them.

A pair of bright hazel eyes looking up through tear-soaked lashes the second before a kiss.

Leaf-shaped shadows cast onto a patch of tanned, freckled skin in a summer afternoon.

Rosy lips parting as they panted, looking smooth and soft under the blueish tint of moonlight.

A bright smile illuminated by the dim, silvery glow of a star-splattered diamond sky.

“Beautiful,” he breathed, his thumb caressing the side of her hand.

There was an unwavering sense of serenity to his eyes when he smiled; the calmness of a man accepting the whims of fate.

But this wasn’t his fate. It couldn’t be. His fate was to smile at her and kiss her and raise goosebumps on her skin with his touch. His fate was to sit by the lake and let her head rest on his lap, watching a golden afternoon unfold behind the mountains. His fate was to hear the tiny footsteps of dark-haired children running across the hardwood floors of Varykino; their tiny voices asking them to wake up so they could go swimming. _She_ was his fate, so she pressed her shaking hand harder onto his wound. 

“ _No_. Be with me,” she exhaled. “ _Stay_.” 

“I’ll always be with you,” he breathed, his lips set in a small, reassuring smile.

“No,” she begged, her eyes flitting feverishly across his face. “No, no, Ben, don’t –”

The moment his body went limp in her arms, an excruciating pain tore through her chest, as if a chunk of her flesh had been hacked off.

It made her whimper like a wounded animal, this lancinating pang she felt as half of her was torn away.

She could barely see through the agony as she called his name, shaking his head in a desperate effort to call him back.

“Wake up, wake up, _wake up_ ,” she chanted feebly, struggling to breathe; struggling to keep her body from crumbling, but determined to hold onto him.

Shaking violently, Rey hugged his limp body to hers, calling his name over and over again like a prayer.

When he didn’t answer, she howled into the crook of his neck.

“Please, come back,” she sobbed, clutching him to her chest, her left hand cradling his head. “Please _. Please, Ben_.”

She was barely breathing when she buried her face in his hair, her voice hoarse and broken.

“ _Please._ Don’t leave me alone.” 

Screwing her eyes shut, she tried to reach out and feel him, desperate to find any trace of his presence that proved he was still there; that they were going to be alright. That they were going to be happy.

All she found was the blinding agony in her chest; a hollow, gaping wound that now throbbed where he’d once been.

Sobbing and sniffling into his neck, she tried to focus on the water inside of her. It was ominously still, and she tried to push it into him in a desperate, feeble attempt to keep him tethered to her until they found help. Slow waves licked their way out of her skin, but they didn’t seem to reach him. They just joined the water around them instead; blending into the luminous ocean that surrounded and bound all things.

That’s where she found him.

It wasn’t _him_ , strictly speaking. It felt more like wisps of his presence; tendrils of him floating in the currents, swirling and pulsing around her.

Back to where he’d come from. Existing in a different form.

 _To hell_ with a different form, she thought as she clutched his body closer to hers. She didn’t _want_ another form. She wanted his arms around her; his mouth on hers; his hands tracing soft circles on her back as she fell asleep in his arms, so she growled as she reached into the Force to hale his echo back to her.

He couldn’t go. She wasn’t going to let him go. She’d lost him once before, and she just knew in the marrow of her bones the second time would kill her.

It hurt, holding onto what was left of him. The effort made _everything_ burn, as if a million rips and tears were being sliced into her flesh and her soul, and it occurred to her that this might kill her, too. As agony licked every inch of her body, she decided she didn’t mind. She’d rather die right there, hanging onto the last traces of him, than live a thousand lives without him by her side.

That realization made the pain feel… Transient. Fleeting. Meaningless. _She was going to die_. It wouldn’t last long, so she pulled and tugged and yanked him to her, determined to live her last moments with the pieces of his soul clutched to her chest. 

Slowly, the luminous threads that had once been him gathered around her. They were warm and bright – mere echoes of his presence, but enough for her to pretend she hadn’t lost him. 

Enough for her to pretend she wasn't alone again. 

The world went silent when she nuzzled his neck, doing her best to breathe through the harrowing pain. She hugged his body closer to hers, basking in the ghost of his light, thinking about the touch of his fingers and the taste of his lips and the way his eyes sparkled in the millisecond before they kissed.

 _I love you_ , she thought. _I always have. I always will._

And then she waited.

Slowly, her pain started to dim, and she smiled against his skin, knowing that it was her time to go. It felt _good_. In fact, it felt _glorious_ , this slow warmth building inside of her, licking her flesh and soothing her wounds. It almost felt like it was _him_ – like the last traces of his soul had decided to merge with her spirit, easing her pain, healing her so that she could be whole when they met again.

It was _bliss_ , and it made her forget all about death and pain and mourning and loneliness.

Almost…

Almost as if she hadn’t lost him at all.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, she felt a light squeeze on her right hand. A dream, probably. A blissful dream.

Were there dreams in the afterlife?

“Rey?”

She would have thought she was hallucinating when she heard his voice, too, hadn’t his breath tickled her skin when he spoke.

Still cradling his head, Rey leaned back to look at his face and found his eyelids fluttering open.

His eyes took a moment to focus on hers, but, when they did, they looked golden.

“Ben?”

Rey’s hand was trembling when she brought it up to his face, fingers grazing his skin carefully, as if scared that he might vanish when she touched him.

He didn’t.

He felt warm and real when he brought his own hand to her cheek, eyes bright and brimming with yearning, like those of a man coming home.

“Ben,” she whispered again, her voice lit up by the bright smile on her lips. “ _Ben._ ”

Maybe if she said his name enough times she’d believe he was breathing in front of her, his blood warm in his veins, his heart beating strongly in his chest.

Maybe if she said his name enough times she’d believe he’d come back to her.

It wasn’t that hard to believe it, though. Not when she buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply, reveling in the warmth of his skin. Not when his warm hand cradled her head and his strong arm slid around her waist, pulling her to him.

Not when they were holding each other like this; like they might come undone if they ever let go.

Rey let his scent fill her lungs once, twice, a thousand times, until there was no amount of denial in the world that could make her deny _this_. 

He'd come back to her.

They may have stayed there for minutes. Hours. Days. They may have stayed there for years, but, when they pulled away slowly, Rey still felt like they hadn’t held each other long enough.

It didn’t matter. They had all the time in the world now.

Their smiles were mirrored images of each other when they kissed, and Rey sighed heavily when she felt the warmth of his lips against hers.

With his hand splayed across her back, Ben pulled her closer, moaning low in his throat when their chests pressed together. The sound made Rey giggle, and she pulled away, hands on his neck, her smile burning her cheeks.

“Who’s a vanilla fuck?” she asked, swatting his shoulder, and he huffed out a teary laugh, pulling her into another tight hug.

With her face buried in his neck and his lips peppering her hair with kisses, Rey couldn’t bring herself to pull away when the distinct sound of three people running on marble reached her ears.

“BEN!”

“REY!" 

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

There were three voices calling for them. Searching for them. Familiar voices. Neither of them moved to answer. 

Not yet.

Inhaling a quivering breath, Rey just let her body relax in his arms, feeling his energy envelop her like a warm blanket.

It felt different, now. His presence. If she could physically see it, she was sure it would look like a million broken shards of ceramic stuck together by golden veins made of _her_. 

As Rey nuzzled Ben’s skin, feeling his heart beat against her chest, she didn’t need to look inside her to know she looked exactly the same.

Her soul was now made of a million broken shards of ceramic stuck together by golden veins made of _him_.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they fucked hard that night. 
> 
> I MEAN, and thus the prophecy was fulfilled, and they lived happily ever after. =)
> 
> Thank you so, so, SO much for giving this fic a chance and sticking around to see where it was going! Every hit, kudo, bookmark and comment means more to me than I can tell you, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for your support, even if it’s been silent. Along the process of publishing this fic, I came dangerously close to letting metrics and stats overshadow my love for writing, and that’s not a headspace I want to be in. I’ve been writing since I was a child – it’s always been cathartic for me; my preferred way of processing emotions and trauma, and that’s the way I want to look at it forever. Writing fic has given me the opportunity to do creative writing in English for the first time; to share my writing with other people for the first time and to hear their thoughts on it. You can’t put a price (or an amount of kudos) to that. Every single person who’s supported and followed this story is immeasurably special to me, and I wanted you to know that.
> 
> See you tomorrow for a short little epilogue showing a glimpse of their future. Spoiler: everything’s good and nothing hurts. 
> 
> Love your faces! 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	14. At the beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the end I want to be standing at the beginning with you. 💜
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey had to physically resist the urge to close her eyes.

She knew how it felt to meditate here, beneath the shade of the willow tree by the lake. She knew the Force pulsed and hummed here in shades of bright green and crystal blue; that it murmured and sang and swirled in the shape of wildflowers and fresh-scented grass; that each stone and each patch of damp soil gave off the warm, restful energy that whispered she was home.

But she couldn’t close her eyes. This wasn’t her time to meditate. It was theirs.

Before her, seven little heads struggled to feel all of those things, with varying degrees of success.

“Timmy?” Rey said, smiling at the little boy closest to her. The olive skin of his forehead was glistening with beads of sweat. “Empty your mind.”

“I _am_ ,” the boy whined, brow creasing with frustration.

“You’re literally thinking about blueberry pie.”

“I’m not!”

“No?”

Opening one of his eyes, Timmy frowned, shooting Rey a comically guilty glance.

“That’s what I thought,” she smiled. “C’mon, feel your body, then try to stop feeling each part of it little by little. Remember the breathing technique?”

The little boy nodded, sighing heavily before he closed his eyes again and wiggled on the grass. Shaking her head, Rey threw him another fond smile before she turned her attention back to the other faces.

For a few minutes, there was relative silence. Fleeting thoughts would cross their minds every now and then, but the children were getting better at silencing them by the day. For the most part, the only sounds reaching Rey’s ears were those of the lake, the leaves and the birds humming a morning-tinged lullaby all around them.

And then she felt it. A swirl of darkness. Cold. Fear.

It was hard to tell exactly what had caused it. Decaying life underneath the lush grass; powerful, ice cold currents at the bottom of the lake; the dense black cloud approaching in the horizon, crackling with electricity to announce an afternoon storm. Rey couldn’t be sure, but she was sure of one thing.

“Alya. There’s no need to be afraid.”

The blonde girl sitting a few feet away swallowed thickly, squeezing her eyes shut in concentration.

“No, don’t try to fight it. Don’t try to look away. Look at it. Feel it.”

Rey could see Alya’s body shiver as the girl tried to follow her instructions. It lasted a moment, and then her little shoulders relaxed, lips parting ever so slightly.

“What do you see?”

“Light,” the little girl breathed. Rey smiled wide.

“Exactly. There’s no darkness without light, and no light without darkness. If you look close enough, you’ll always find one within the other. Fear of the dark or overconfidence in the light will blind you to that. Yes?”

“Yes, Master Rey,” seven soft voices answered in unison.

“Good. That’s your homework. Add fifteen minutes of meditation to your training routines. Try to feel the balance. Try to see what Alya just saw.”

“Does that mean we’re dismissed?"

Rey couldn’t help the warm chuckle that shook her shoulders.

“Yes, Timmy. You’re dismissed.”

As the kids scrambled to their feet, starting to talk among themselves, Rey got up, too, eyes fixed on the horizon.

“Master Rey?”

“Yes, Aiden?”

“Do we have meditation again tomorrow?”

“No,” she said, lowering her eyes to meet the expectant gaze of the curly haired boy in front of her. “Tomorrow you have psychometry with Master Ben. North Wing, at nine.”

“Is Master Ben back?”

“He will be,” Rey said kindly, a wide smile forming on her lips. “Later today. Now c’mon, there’s plenty of time before lunch. Go get some rest. See you in the dining hall. ”

“Thank you, Master Rey.”

While the sound of small footsteps on soft grass disappeared in the distance, Rey kept her gaze fixed on the glistening lake. Without looking down, she fiddled absentmindedly with the thin band on her ring finger, letting her thumb trace the polished edges of the shiny amethyst on it. 

A gust of wind kissed her skin, drenched with the unmistakable smell of rain, and she closed her eyes, smiling softly. After a moment, she opened them again and turned around with one last glance at the murmuring water, starting to make her way back into the palace.

Opening a wooden side door, she stepped into the long east corridor, which stretched all the way down to the front hall, bordering the lush gardens. Rey moved slowly, letting her eyes linger on the countless shades of green that flashed at her through the long windows as she walked. 

Over the lake, a big flock of purple martins glided through the air, heading towards the mountains. Rey stopped for a second, hand on the cold window, listening to their melodic cheeps disappearing in the distance as they made their way home.

That’s when she felt him.

A bright smile bloomed slowly on her face, and she watched the birds for another moment before she broke into a run. Her loose hair bounced behind her as she jogged, and one could have mistaken her gauzy gray dress for mist as it swished behind her body. She reached one of the wooden side doors that led into the entrance hall in no time, hurrying to turn the doorknob.

Ben was already standing there, smiling at her.

Rey didn’t say a word as she ran to him and flung her arms around his neck, but she did squeal when he wrapped his own arms around her waist in one swift movement, lifting her up in the air.

His eyes were glistening when he looked up at her, holding her flush to his body.

“I missed you,” she whispered, cupping his face before she leaned down to press her lips to his. 

“You saw me last night,” Ben mumbled, smiling in between pecks.

“Not in the flesh.”

“Felt pretty fleshly to me.”

“Ben!” she scolded, swatting his shoulder with a bright smile. Ben just smiled wide in response, all dimples and teeth and light, before he reclaimed her mouth.

“Gross,” a voice said, and Rey opened her eyes in time to see Rose walk past them, lips pursed disapprovingly.

“Gross,” Hux repeated right behind Rose, following her to the entrance of the palace.

Ben made a point of looking over his shoulder to throw them a dismissive glance. Turning back around, he pressed another soft kiss to the corner of Rey’s mouth before he started to lower her back to the ground.

“Wanna meet them?” he asked, tracing her jawline with the back of his hand.

“Yeah.”

Ben’s hand felt impossibly soft when he interlaced their fingers. Eyes locked with his, Rey smiled as he started to guide her to the front door.

“C’mon, come on in,” Rose said gently to the children standing on the threshold.

“Welcome to Theed,” Hux added with a warm smile. Approaching Rose from behind, he placed his hands on her shoulders. 

Rey let go of Ben’s hand slowly, inching closer to the kids with a kind smile on her face. Before her, six pairs of little bright eyes roamed around the stately entrance hall, brimming with awe.

“It’s very nice to meet you,” she said, kneeling until she was eye-level with the children. "We’re very happy you’re here.”

“Are you master Rey?” a young boy with fiery red hair asked. Rey nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I am. And you are?”

“Lucas.”

“Nice to meet you, Lucas. Are these your mom and dad?”

The boy nodded, and Rey stood up slowly, extending her hand to the man and the woman behind the boy.

“Nice to meet you. Thank you for trusting us.”

The couple just nodded as they shook her hand, their eyes mirroring those of their son. With another warm smile, Rey lowered her eyes back to the children. A girl with thick, curly hair and sparkly eyes had come with her parents, too. A boy and a girl were holding hands with a woman who had their dark, curious eyes, but two of the children were alone.

Well, not anymore.

“C’mon, come on in,” Rey insisted, taking a step back. Ben was right behind her to wrap his fingers gently around her upper arms. “Rose and Hux will show you to your rooms, and then we can all get to know each other over lunch. How does that sound?”

The children exchanged a few shy smiles and excited glances, and Rey grinned.

“This way, then,” Rose called, starting to move towards the staircase. “Let’s get you settled before you meet the others.”

As the sound of several footsteps disappeared in the distance, Rey turned around to face Ben.

“Six?” Bringing her hands up his chest, she caressed his skin through the beige linen of his shirt. “’Only in royal blood’ _my ass_.” 

“Yeah,” he chuckled, his thumbs tracing soft lines up and down her waist. “And I felt even more. Couldn’t find them, though. Their signatures weren’t strong enough.”

“Too young?”

“Probably,” he agreed, leaning in to nuzzle her nose.

“We’ll go together next time. I can’t handle another week without you.”

Pressing his forehead to hers, Ben cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

“Yeah? And who’s going to stay and teach the other little imps?”

“We’ll give ‘em tons of homework,” Rey said, sliding her hands up his chest and looping her arms lazily around his neck. “They’ll love us forever.”

With a husky laugh, Ben finally leaned in for a kiss. Rey’s fingers travelled upwards slowly until they were tangled in his hair, and he sighed when her tongue went looking for his.

Their kiss was calm. Deep. Slow.

There was no need to rush. They had all the time in the world.

When Rey finally pulled away, her eyes were glistening.

“Did I tell you Timmy moved the apple on Tuesday?”

“Did he?”

She nodded excitedly, watching Ben’s smile crinkle the corners of his eyes.

“That’s amazing. Still thinking about food during meditation?”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Getting better though. C’mon, let’s go for a walk. I want to fill you in.”

“As you wish, _Your Highness_ ,” he teased, pressing a loud peck to her lips.

“Bite me.”

“Unorthodox, but okay.”

When Ben’s teeth sank into her chin, Rey squealed, and the shriek morphed into a cackle as she tried to wiggle out of his arms.

“Jerk!”

Tightening his grip around her waist, Ben laughed against her cheek. His breath felt warm and gentle when he pressed a soft kiss to the indentation he’d left on her skin. His arms were warm too, and so was his chest pressed flush to hers. He was warm all around, just like this luminous, soothing energy thrumming around them and welcoming them home.

***

“They’ve decided on Varykino.”

Maz stopped for a moment when she heard the words. Sighing, she put the leather-bound volume in her hands back on the bookshelf before she turned around. The queen was standing by the window, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

“We thought they might.”

“Yeah,” Leia agreed, the pale morning light partially illuminating her face. “But Rey told me they made the call. Said they’re thinking April.”

“The Lake Country’s beautiful in April.”

“It is.”

Maz stared at Leia’s inscrutable expression for a long moment before she brought her hands to her hips.

“Are you moping because you don’t get to throw them a _ball_?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t you _dare_. You and Han _literally_ eloped.”

“Oh, not _that_ again,” Leia huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And, no, there’s nothing wrong with Varykino. It suits them.”

“Why are you moping, then?”

“I’m not _moping_.”

“ _Leia_.”

The queen let out a heavy sigh, staring out the window in silence for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice sounded unconvincingly nonchalant.

“April’s in seven months _._ ”

“Oh, not the grandchildren thing again.”

“I’ll _die_ before I’m a grandma,” Leia stated matter-of-factly, arms still crossed stubbornly.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic,” Maz huffed, waving her hand dismissively. “They’re figuring their lives out. Give them some space. Let them have sex in peace.”

“I don’t think they’re having any trouble in that department,” Leia said with a soft chuckle, letting her eyes stray towards the window again. Laughing, Maz agreed with a nod.

“Is Ben coming back today?

“Yeah,” the queen said with a fond smile and a small shrug. “There goes our afternoon tea with Rey for at least two weeks.”

“Make that a month.”

It felt like the words had summoned them – the small footsteps echoing off the walls like the pitter-patter of rain.

“They’re here!” Alya announced as she ran into the library, followed closely by Timmy. “The new kids! They’re here!”

“Well, good morning to you, too,” Leia said with a soft smile, turning her head towards the door. “Aren’t you supposed to be training?”

“No,” the little girl said. “Master Rey dismissed us early today because Timothy wouldn’t stop thinking about pie.”

“No, she didn’t!” the boy protested.

“Yes, she did!”

“Maybe she dismissed us because you started seeing creepy stuff!”

The girl gasped in outrage, hands on her hips. “She _literally_ told _everyone_ to try to do the same, you –”

“Oi, that’s enough!” Maz scolded, moving towards a pile of books on the windowsill. “Does Rey know Ben’s back?”

“Yeah, they’re making out by the lake.”

“ _Timothy_!” Alya cried, glaring daggers at the boy.

“What? They are!”

“God, you’re so _clueless_!”

“And you’re –”

“Oi! I said enough!” Maz exclaimed, setting the pile of books back down.

“Did you come all the way up here just to keep us in the loop?” Leia asked, resting her head against the window frame with an amused glint in her eyes.

“No,” Alya said, shaking her head. “We have two hours before lunch. We thought we’d pick up some books to read in the afternoon. Looks like it’s going to rain.”

“Well, go ahead,” Maz said, gesturing towards the countless rows of bookshelves to her right. “But bring them back here after you’re done.”

“ _Or_ we could come over and you could tell us stories!” Timmy said, making Alya squeal with joy.

“Yes! The one about the peace treaty with the Gungans!”

“No, tell us the one about the construction of Theed!”

“The war with Mustafar!”

“I know, I know,” Timmy said, green eyes sparkling as they locked with the girl’s. “The Scavenger and the Prince!”

“The Scavenger and the Prince!” Alya shrieked, bouncing up and down as she clapped.

When Maz looked over at Leia, the queen had a smug, collusive smile on her lips. The old woman returned it with a conspiratorial wink before she turned to the window.

Behind her, the sound of the children bickering over something filled up the library, but Maz wasn’t paying attention. Her eyes were fixed on the couple sitting by the lake. Rey had her head on Ben’s lap, chestnut hair splayed across the green grass, glistening eyes trained on his face. He must have said something funny, because she crinkled her nose, laughing wholeheartedly as he leaned down to kiss her.

“Okay, _Alya_ , whatever you say. Maz?” Timmy called. “Will you tell us the story? After lunch? We could invite the new kids!”

“ _Please_?” the girl whined. “It’s my favorite!”

Still staring out the window, Maz smiled, muttering, mostly to herself:

“It’s my favorite, too.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, there you go, the epilogue I wanted for TRoS. This story means the world to me, and I'll never be able to thank you enough for giving it a chance. 
> 
> Love your faces! <3
> 
> PS.: [astroorbiter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astroorbiter/pseuds/astroorbiter) gifted me [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23306959) poem yesterday and I haven't stopped crying ever since. It was inspired by this story, and I honestly don't even know what to say. How do you even thank someone for something this beautiful? The most incredible thing is that she wrote it *before* she finished the story, and the way it goes with this epilogue is like.... whoa. Just go check it out and shower her with love. She's so talented and kind and generous, and she deserves the world.


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